Season 5, Episode 7 (Jae)

0:07

Welcome to the Q Lounge. The Q Lounge. Be our sugar daddy, the Q Lounge. Live your authenticity. Be our sugar daddy. Welcome to the Q Lounge. The Q Lounge Sugar daddy Live in your authenticity.

Eric: 0:31

Hello and welcome to the Q Lounge where we discuss news, stories and situations as it relates to the LGBTQ Q I A plus experience. I am super tongue-tied this morning. I am Eric. I'm Gill. And thank you for joining us so much. Just a quick apology to our listeners. Sorry we did not drop an episode last week. I got sick and I just was not able to record. So things happen. I know we've missed a couple episodes this season, but. We still love you guys and it's that time. Thank you so much Russ us. It's at time of the year, but onto more important things. We are super excited to have our guest with us today. Jae, thank you so much for joining us. Hi Hi. Thank you. How are you?

Jae: 1:20

I'm also getting over being sick as you can probably hear it, my voice okay. Yeah, it's been such a fun week. I ended up tracking Oh yeah.

Eric: 1:29

I was lucky. I was off Thursday, so I just literally laid in bed for a long ass time, like I am a night owl. I was in bed Wednesday night by 6:00 PM and I slept till 10:00 AM the next morning, and then I still just laid in bed for another seven hours and then I finally, Migrated to the couch,

Jae: 1:50

and laid there. Made me take the whole week off because I was contagious. So they're like, you need to stay. Oh, wow. Yeah. Ok. They're went on my vacation time. Thanks. Oh, that sucks.

Eric: 2:01

Such is my

Jae: 2:01

life.

Eric: 2:03

But I'm glad you're feeling better. Yes, I'm glad

Jae: 2:05

staying there. If I cough. I'm sorry cuz I'm still Ugh. Oh no, you're,

Eric: 2:09

we do that all the time. Yeah.

Gil: 2:12

Because I, what? I got a call a few weeks ago Eric? Yeah. You were second few weeks ago. And the same thing, like I could not stop, like the cough was in me for at least four weeks. Three weeks? I just recently stopped coughing and I'm like, God,

Eric: 2:24

not fun. Not fun. So Jae, how did, how and when did you realize you were part of the LGBTQIA Plus community? How did you realize? When I was

Jae: 2:36

four. Okay. Ooh. It's pretty young. But I knew that I wasn't normal in the sense that I wasn't like the other guys. okay. Society. I knew that I had been born in the wrong body, per se, that I didn't feel I didn't feel connected to the body. I was. So that's pretty much what I knew my parents knew around that time as well, because they knew I guess on my mannerisms and the things I was asking for and stuff like that. My mom has to laugh about it because she said when I was a baby, they made my room up in rainbows oh. If that was a sign of anything,

Gil: 3:11

yes.

Jae: 3:12

I thought that was pretty funny. But yeah, that's, I knew at four, four years old, that's, yeah.

Gil: 3:18

Yeah. That's awesome

Eric: 3:20

though.

Jae: 3:20

That's great. I just didn't know what it was until, I think I was probably 15 or 16. Okay. But technically I came out at 14, but it was just as gay cuz I didn't know the trans was a thing, yeah.

Eric: 3:32

Yeah. Okay. And how was that experience for you?

Jae: 3:36

Oh, first I came out to mom. I was in therapy already because we had moved from Arizona and. I had switched schools twice. My parents are going through a divorce. I was still dealing with all my crap. Yeah. Ok. That's a lot. It, yeah, it was a lot going on, but, so I was already in therapy for all of that. And then talking through my therapist, I came, we came to the realization, okay, we think this is what you are. He called me in one or my mom in one day while I was in therapy. And then I came up to her. And of course, I'm a big blubbery. But even after that, I knew something wasn't, it wasn't complete, like I knew, yeah, there was more to it, but I just didn't know what it was. that makes sense. And then when I was 15, or was it 16? I see. Losing my, I'm getting so old you guys when

Eric: 4:23

I was 24 is not old. Yeah.

Jae: 4:26

I started going to this group called C Y G. Okay. Which is, or was Cincinnati Youth Group, and it was a, So that, I guess parents didn't really, if you were not out to them yet, they could still go to this youth group and blanket Anyway I was learning stuff there and I was like, this is what I am I'm transgender. And it all made sense. It clicked okay. That's when I found out that's what I was. Okay. And it was great. I made a group of friends and. It was easier that point. Oh, amazing.

Gil: 4:59

I'm glad you were able to get a support system. You were, able to get that kind of ways versus a lot of us where we bottle the weight and hope and right away Yeah, no, you were so proactive. I just love it.

Jae: 5:12

I felt like that's and I was also dealing with severe depression. So that's, I think being able to get that out really helped. mean, Granted, we still suffer through it, but it's not really as bad as it was at that age.

Gil: 5:23

how was your family handling it? Because I know, like I said they, your parents always have that vision of, oh, they're gonna be this certain way. Yeah. This is what I want from them. And obviously the dream kind of goes,

Jae: 5:33

they're I'm very lucky that my parents were very accepting. Okay. Love that. My dad was more I'll say actually both my parents were fearful in the fact that, you this was new territory for them. Gay is one thing, but being. Yeah. Especially cuz I came out in high school. Okay. So people, I mean they, I guess they thought people were gonna be a lot more violent towards me. Okay. And in some ways they were I did get a lot of crap in high school, which, typical teenagers anyway. But Yeah. For me, yeah, it was pretty hard. I So I wasn't allowed to do a lot of things, although I still snuck out the house, I wore some makeup and I went to Walmart one day and bought, back then we had water bras, so not realistic. I kinda wore that under a giant hoodie, so you couldn't really tell that I had it on and Yeah. Yeah. Wore dressing when I was gonna school and kind of, slowly coming out that way. Okay. The parents were still I don't what's apprehensive, in some. My dad would ask me, why do you wear makeup and you know why you're doing this, doing it this way, And I was like, oh, I'm just being me. Correct. Absolutely. It was hard for him at the beginning. As far as, I think he just wanted to protect me. I think they both did. Parents do. of course. They're. They're fine. Now. My mom looks back and thinks she, failed me in some sorts because I didn't get to go to my school proms because they thought that I would get jumped or, beaten or something. Ok. So I missed those opportunities. I didn't get to do other things as well, but I. Yeah. I think that in the end it's, it is what it is and I'm still living my little best life. Yes. that's,

Eric: 6:59

that's what's important. How was it with like friends and peers

Jae: 7:03

friends, they, people knew. they picked up on, how I, cuz I wasn't masculine whatsoever. I was pretty feminine and they did things, the music I listened to, the clothes, I was starting to, wear. Yeah. School, It was the guys of course, were the guys, but the girls for the most part just took me under the wing and Awesome. Remember the, one of the girls in ninth grade, she started of arching my eyebrows for me and, oh, that, love that So that was well, and then in cyg, like I, I made this group of friends That was a whole new aspect for me and having people be around. were like me. Or in other course, other spectrums or on the spectrum as well of the glbt, qia A plus community. Especially around my age cause I don't think people even in my generation are further back how those connect until they were older. Because it was so taboo to be Yeah, absolutely. Us. So I think I got lucky in a lot of respect. Yeah. That's great. Did

Gil: 8:02

you have any struggles with the, like self-acceptance or any kind of, so you don't like that you knew, but once you're going through it and you're having any kind of doubts or are you no, this is it? Or do you, were you pretty much Steamboat ahead? I, this is it

Jae: 8:15

both. Okay. I knew who I was and like what I wanted to be, but I was always second guessing everything. Okay. I was still overthinking everything. oh my God, if I walk this way, is someone gonna notice? Are they gonna jump me? is this my last day on earth? And even now I still of feel that way, especially with all the drag and anti-trans bills that are throwing up. Yeah,

Eric: 8:33

absolutely. We

Jae: 8:35

talk about that a lot. I'm starting. This is what is happening, but So I still have that mentality sometimes where, do people know? Can people tell? I think, and even I'm pretty lucky with my voice that I don't sound a really masculine and Actually, harassing with, I'm still sick, so it I don't know.

Eric: 8:54

you can start a, you can start a 900 number right now.

Jae: 9:00

It's funny, like when I get sick I tend to talk in a British accent because I don't know, it just sounds pleasant and people can understand what I'm saying a bit more now. It's so weird. I should have been an actor. I was telling you I should have been an. You can always start

Eric: 9:16

that now,

Jae: 9:18

I'm trying. I'm trying That's great.

Eric: 9:22

Since since you talked, brought it up a little bit or talked about it a little bit can we get your opinion? I don't, I know what your opinion would be, I'm assuming, but can we talk a little bit? These anti-trans bills that are happening and Yes.

Jae: 9:38

Thoughts and it scares me. Yeah. I'm not sure how much I can elaborate, but yeah, I just waking up and then seeing that these bills are popping up and,

Eric: 9:50

and you're in a predominantly red state, aren't you?

Jae: 9:53

Oh, hi. Oh yes. Yeah. I was very much a red state. How is that? I live in a very rural. Town that is very pro-Trump and very conservative. So you do now

Eric: 10:05

or you

Jae: 10:05

do? Yes, I do. You do. Okay. I, we ended up here because my roommate, one of them ended up buying or having a house built on this particular plot. It's a new subdivision. And he was wanting to build, or, buy his, first house on home ownership. So this is just where we landed. Okay. I was with my mom before and she's about 40 minutes north of me, and it's still pretty, pretty conservative out there too. So I think that's just the thing, being out in the burbs. It's a little more Yeah. Red than blue. Let's see if I was like, inner city or something like that. Yeah. We noticed

Eric: 10:36

that. The urban areas tend to be more blue then.

Jae: 10:40

Yeah. It depends on where you are. But these bills it just, the mindset behind them just does not make sense to me. Drag has been around, I wanna say even before Shakespeare Times, but I know he was the one who wrote in the margins of his bloods, D R A G, dressed as girl. Cause at that time women were not allowed on stage. Yeah. Men play these parts. And it's always been like a, an underground back alley kind of thing, these shows and stuff. But to think that something as simple as, a drag reading hour, like at a library, these people are fully clothed. They're not talking about anything they're not supposed to be talking about. it's very appropriate. They're reading books that are very age appropriate. Yeah, absolutely. I don't understand how that, Rhetoric or this rhetoric has become twisted to the point. Oh, we're the rooming kids now. I,

Eric: 11:29

and we've, we talked about this Yeah. A lot on the podcast, the issue is they're thinking of cis hit men and like how cis hetero men would be acting And so they're putting that behavior on drag queens and on the trans community and. That's where they're getting caught up because of their ignorance and their stupidity. Yes. And it's also, it's ironic and it's disgusting at the same time, you have people like Lauren Bobert, who's in power, whose husband literally has been charged with exposing himself to minors.

Gil: 12:08

But I was gonna say, hasn't there been more prosecution of priests and stuff like that? Yes. Clergy men. Oh yes. Absolut. The religious groups versus how many drag queens molested a child. We know what the problem is. Everyone knows what the problem is. But these are all made up Republican culture wars that do not exist. Yeah, and it's, let's call it what it is. It's all bullshit. What killed kids guns? Are we doing anything about it? Absolutely not.

Jae: 12:33

Nothing whatsoever.

Eric: 12:34

For that, just, yeah. What was, there was like a four-year-old that was just shot by her three-year-old sister in Houston.

Jae: 12:42

But it's not gun Eric. I'm, that's sad. It's not the Yeah, it's not

Gil: 12:47

the gun It's gravity. It's gravity.

Eric: 12:51

So how do you cope living in a predominantly red state and a predominantly red area? Is that ha is that a issue at all, or not really? Am I could be projecting

Jae: 13:02

I try to not that I was ever really that I think actually now that I've gotten older, I'm not as outward with my identity. especially with strangers. I never really happen unless, you're really close to me and I know you yeah. That it ever comes out. But I just try to live, I guess normal, if that's even a thing. I've just try to keep to myself when I'm out by myself, if I'm at Walmart or something, or I have to use the bathroom, I try to find the front, the family rooms first before oh, okay. I go into a gendered one. Because I have gotten a couple lifts before, but I'm just like, oh God, if is this gonna turn into an incident, what's gonna happen? I do fear for myself in those situations. especially with these bills that are coming out and they're focusing on, what's between your legs. Yeah. It's disgust. I don't care. I'm just going to go and then get out. I'm not trying to look at anybody's private parts, it's none of my business. Yeah. But yeah, I usually end up looking for family, single stall. Okay. Or room. Washrooms for that reason.

Gil: 13:57

I I didn't know you were in Ohio, I thought you were in New Mexico with Eric Red Area. I'm like, is she in Las Cruces out that direction or

Jae: 14:07

I'm in Ohio. Oh, I don't wanna be here anymore. I'm over it. Although Phoenix is my hometown, I want to go back there. But it's not necessarily as blue as it used to be. Once upon a time it's still. It's gone pretty red. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's,

Eric: 14:23

It's hued a little bit back blue-ish lately.

Jae: 14:27

Kind. Yeah. I kinda but with Scary Lake who had run for office. Oh my

Eric: 14:32

God. Oh, I hear she's a vp, front runner.

Jae: 14:36

She kills me because she used to go to drag shows and she has hired them. Yeah. Specifically Barbara Seville to her, her home to do. and to all of a sudden turn around and be like, oh my God. Just, I, there's proof that you've done this before and she's even dressed up herself oh my God. I dunno.

Gil: 14:55

the hypocrisy is just,

Jae: 14:56

it really is hypocrisy.

Gil: 14:58

Yeah. And I'm like, we're fact, especially like the younger kids, they fact check them in the moment. Yes, please. I got you. Not even Google search. They're like, I pulled it up. Receipts are there and people, but the sad part is people still vote for them that. Blows my mind.

Jae: 15:13

It's be they just want to gloss over it. Oh, it really didn't happen. It's all made up. that, or

Eric: 15:17

they're like, are they the whole mentality of I don't support that belief of theirs. but I support this belief of theirs or, I like that they're doing this for me and I don't necessarily support that belief. No, but you're allowing them to have the power to. People's rights away because, yep. You want a few extra dollars or because you want a little bit more PR privileged, etched into society for you.

Jae: 15:43

Yeah. Our world has gone to crap

Eric: 15:46

I, I, yeah. I always say just let's burn it all down and start over. Literally I probably have the FBI watching me. Huh?

Gil: 15:55

I was like, you can't hurt at this

Eric: 15:56

point. No, not at all. I probably have the FBI on my back.

Gil: 16:00

They're like this kid.

Eric: 16:02

Yeah. Luckily this podcast only has. Three listeners and two of us are online right now. right? Now we have a couple more than that.

Gil: 16:12

But speak, I'm curious what's privilege, and I don't know if it's how it is within the, your community as well or what you see differently in Ohio. Is privilege, especially like skin. is that a thing within the community as well? Because I know Chris, Eric and I have talked about this in depth about yes, there's the gay community, but also within the gay community there's a, there's a pecking order of, of course of white, the white passing gay man. It's always gonna be superior and then it of works our way down.

Jae: 16:39

I notice some more when I was younger. when I used to go out more. I don't really go out that much anymore. Because I've I just of fell out of the club scene and I have not been to a drag show in quite a long time. It's just, cause, I've, I'm just lazy. I wanna sleep But yeah, when I used to go, I've noticed it more. I would get looked over quite a bit or I've actually used to get dirty, quite a few dirty looks because even like in the gay bars. I'm, a gay man, with muscles, I'm trans and I'm also, I'm thicker, I've got a belly and even within other white trans people that I knew, I was glossed over because I didn't fit their mold for what they thought I should be. So I've experienced that quite a bit.

Eric: 17:17

And then what we talk about this a little bit too, like under the L G B T Q umbrella. Sexuality and identity and everyone always forgets about the identity part. Yes. How has life been, like, how have you been able to maneuver through that? Has that been an issue? I don't know if I'm making, if I'm asking right. Yeah, I'm, no, just cuz like we're, we were talking about it's, it seems to be that you have that pecking order of the white gay man versus a slightly darker gay man and then you go into the trans community in the gay community or the L G B T community, a lot of times they just like gloss over the trans community entirely. And I find that to be a very big issue within the community. That's what, that's one of many areas, but one area that I definitely find that as a quote unquote community, we can be very problematic.

Jae: 18:12

Very much yeah. Yeah. It seems yeah, I've I've noticed that quite a bit where, it seems to favor. Just more of the gay aspect of it. especially if you're white and you've got muscles or twink or whatnot. But I have noticed, yeah. It's disheartening that, we get gloss over and not just trans, but like bi people I know. Don't ever hear about bi people. Yeah. bi eraser

Eric: 18:31

is a real thing.

Jae: 18:32

Yeah. And and like non-binary. that's, that's another aspect that I, you just, people get glossed over and it makes, it breaks my heart that we're not, all connected together and like fighting for each other. it's more, okay, this is what I think we should fight for, or what we're just going to give the most attention to. And, yeah. I just, it, it is sad because I've gotten a lot of hate within the community itself, which really is disheartening, but I've also not been around it so much. I've been more at the house, or I've been more connected with my culture. So that, that also kind, kind pulled me away from the G B T Q I, functions, I per se, or, doing stuff. I tend to go to more powwows and oh, dance. I dance a lot with it at the powwows. And yeah, I just came back from Phoenix a couple weeks ago. I was at Apache Gold in San Carlos, Arizona, which is one of the bigger POWWOWs out there. And you do see, even within our indigenous communities there are what we call two spirits, which is also what I am. doesn't necessarily mean gay trans. It could be any person who could be a two-spirit, which to explain it to the best of my ability is someone who has both male and female perspectives envisions. Okay. And can, think in both. Okay. Both together and separately. Cuz I noticed as I've gotten older too, that, even though yes, I live full-time as a woman, I still have a man brain in some things like, I think certain ways like a man would, or, And I've come to learn stubborn and don't ask for directions. Luckily I have a good sense of direction. That's good. But it Yeah, it's been an interesting ride, re rediscovering my culture because I'm adopted. So I was born and raised Roman, a Catholic in a white household. Oh, wow. Oh wow. Okay. Yeah, I've, I guess I, yeah, I didn't start with that, but yes, I was born and raised in a white household Catholic, and it wasn't until maybe five or six years ago that I really started rediscover. my, where I'm from? I've always gone, I'm Apache. specifically why Mountain Apache? But I've never really dig, dug into it until, get, inform information. So when I started doing that, and then just everything that comes with it, I've, I, it's opened my eyes and I've no longer Christian. I no longer believe in a faith. as far as that, after learning everything that I know now. But it has helped me so much in discovering who I am and my, my past and my culture, my ancestors. It's pretty cool. That is so

Gil: 20:50

wonderful. You have all the layers. I love it.

Jae: 20:58

what I've noticed, like within. our community as far as the indigenous communities, we used to be more accepting of queer, trans. the whole spectrum. Esp especially like the, our generation maybe a little bit older, I know with colonization, there has been some assimilation within our communities as well. And I have a friend who came out to his parents as gay and two-Spirit and his parents just flew off at him, but it was his grandmother. who had to sit his parents down and tell them that, this is an old way, this is not new. this is part of our traditions and our teachings, you should be more open to it. So it was grandma that got his parents to come around and realize, this is part of our culture and. It's been good ever since for him, so I'm happy that he had that outcome. I know not everyone does, but it's been quite a journey discovering me, Yeah. In that sense,

Eric: 21:51

yeah. That you've had a lot of journeys, which

Jae: 21:55

so many within less than 40 years. Just under I'll. I'm thir. I turn 39 tomorrow, oh happy early. Birthday. Birthday, Any plans? Work I go back to work tomorrow. I've been off all week, so yeah, I go back tomorrow Oh.

Eric: 22:14

Oh. So for your birthday you got to be sick.

Jae: 22:16

Gosh.

Eric: 22:18

So you're Pisces, huh?

Jae: 22:20

Yes, I'm on the cusp. I'm not sure. I never got into the Zodiac, so I don't know what all the signs mean. I have no

Eric: 22:28

idea. I find it entertaining. I don't know much about it. I know what my suns sign is and my moon and my ascending, and I don't necessarily know what all of that means. I, I don't know

Jae: 22:40

which sign. I just don't want Pisces. I don't know what Moon or Sun or Sunday. I have no idea yet.

Gil: 22:47

I, I dunno. I just know when I'm born and I'm like, I'm somewhere near house

Eric: 22:51

You're the cancer Leo cus right? Yeah,

Gil: 22:54

I'm on the cus too. My friends actually are right on the cups. We're all born. A lot of my friends are all born on the 20th of every month, pretty much. that's me. We're a

Jae: 23:01

hot mess. Ain't nothing wrong with it. Yeah.

Gil: 23:05

Did you have any, let's see, because I know being in the community, it's hard and we don't necessarily have icons right off the bat. It's not like it's something that's taught to us in school, but did you have any musical ones where you're like, I, like for me, for instance, I grew up, I. Love Annie Lennox. We have obviously Eric who's a gigantic Yes, Janet Jackson fan, and there was something about them that lured us to them, right? It's the music, the style, their, they spoke to us in a way that others could not, or say things that we didn't know how to say. Did you have any kind of influence like that growing up, where you felt like, I found, for me, music's a

Jae: 23:41

big thing. Oh, music is huge for me. as far as, I dunno if we're connecting with, specifically the glbt Qia spectrum of myself, but I was a big Grace Jones fan. Loved her. Oh yeah. Icon. Good choice. Yes. Yes. I grew up with Janet, so I was always listening to Janet Jackson of course. Perfect. Oddly, I wasn't so much into Michael, I was more into Janet. Same. I. I was very much in, especially with the kids I grew up with it was more hip hop and rap and r and b. TLC love them. Tony love them. Wow. Yeah. Oh my God, I'm losing my brain. I can't think right now. En vogue. En vogue. Yes. And oh, there's so many. Good luck, doctor. But today, I don't know if you have any interest in people, but I'm really loving Alex Isley. Okay. She is Ernie Ailey's, daughter of the Isley Brothers. So she's, she right now. She's really speaks to me cuz it's, her music is very soulful. It's soft, it's not overpowering, it's very mellow and I really loving right now. Love that. Love that. She's one of my favorites. Oh, nice. That's great. It's my, yeah.

Gil: 24:46

Music changes. It's always as you go through your

Jae: 24:48

waves and Yeah. I've gotten everything from hip hop, r b electronica. middle Eastern of course Powwow Music and then a lot of Latino, genres. So many of them, I just, I love them. I just, that's amazing. Everything around the world is just, I don't know. Everything speaks to me. And yeah.

Eric: 25:05

And then being a dancer too,

Jae: 25:06

yeah, too. Yeah, Eric, we used to dance. I don't so much anymore,

Eric: 25:10

but yeah, I don't dance anymore either. unless I go to a club or something or

Jae: 25:15

a, I might get back into it at some point, but right now I've been more on my cultural journey and I think that's great.

Eric: 25:21

How has that been for you and like, how has that helped? I know you've talked, you mentioned a few things as far as like this was tradition and stuff like that, but how has that been for you as far as like growing for yourself and healing yourself and everything

Jae: 25:36

else? It's been amazing to find out, where I come from. I'm still trying to figure out like family. I have, I still have to get down to The records office to get my birth certificate and stuff. They have my parents' names on him, but I do know who, like a last name of our family and I've connected with a couple people. They just don't know who I am yet. I haven't really come out as far, this, I think, we're related in some way, but I do look a lot like them, so I think we make related. So yeah, it's been a fun journey. It's been very, I just, I love every aspect of my culture. and not just my culture, but the powwow culture and of Native Americans, across the continent. Not just America, or not just the US, but Canada. Mexico. Cause I'm also part of another tribe that's on both sides of the border. So God, having that connection and meeting people and learning. it's been amazing to have all that.

Gil: 26:28

Where we got.

Jae: 26:31

that's chills.

Gil: 26:31

Do you guys just in Ohio or you're located, do you guys get that? Is that l lake snow effect or whatever? Because I always hear about Cleveland freezing hell over yearly. And then are you in that part of town or are you more like in the southern park? Close to like Cincinnati.

Jae: 26:45

I'm right outside of Cincinnati. Oh, okay. But we do, we got some last night actually most, almost all day yesterday we got some like effects. It was very light. It wasn. Anything. It was all gone by this morning, but yeah, I know, Cleveland, Buffalo, oh my god. They get pummeled very Oh yeah. Very. All the way us

Gil: 27:01

now. And they're shocked every year. Oh my God's snowing. I'm like, yes,

Jae: 27:06

I hate it. I can't stand anymore. I'm getting snow for it.

Eric: 27:10

we got snow this weekend too, in Albuquerque.

Jae: 27:13

Oh, did you guys? Yeah. Oh, you're high desert, so Yeah, you definitely get it up there.

Eric: 27:17

Yeah. Yeah. We. Everyone's oh, it's so hot there. I'm like, no, we get really cold here too.

Gil: 27:24

Oh, yeah, it does. The winters. I didn't know that when I went to college out there. That's how Eric and I met. I didn't know. I was like, that's gonna be warm all year. It's stupid.

Jae: 27:32

No, even Phoenix, when I was out there, a couple weeks wake, go down into the thirties over my, they got a little cold.

Eric: 27:38

Oh. I never think about that. I always, when I would go to Phoenix, I haven't been for a wa for a minute. I will be there this year though. Oh, okay. I always went like in the summer, so it's oh yeah, a hun 120 at 11 o'clock at night. And I'm like, just get to the car and turn on the air conditioner. I couldn't even breathe. It was

Jae: 27:56

so hot. See I missed that. I missed the dry heat. I can deal with that more. I cannot stand the humidity here. It's so cute. Humidity's awful. It's oppressive and already have asthma, so I already have time breathing. Yeah, it's time for me to go. I need to go. I gotta go. So I'm hoping by the end of the year I will have moved out. Oh, awesome.

Eric: 28:15

For my house. Yes. Awesome. We hope for your sake and for your sanity and everything else that you get to move back out there, oh, thank you so much. I can't wait. You're welcome. We'll put that into the universe for you. Yes. What's your opinion on allyship and what makes a good ally and how important do you think allies are?

Jae: 28:32

Oh, that's a good question. It's definitely important to have those connections. To build trust with and I guess, for being able to go out and fight for rights so that we can hopefully try and take down these bills yeah. To make our country and not just a country, but the world, a better place to live in. definitely those kind of connections.

Eric: 28:53

And what do you think makes a good ally.

Jae: 28:55

I think what makes a good ally is someone who, although they may not be part of the community as far as like in someone who's bi or gay, but someone who is understanding and empathetic to situations and are us as a people and as a group and. Can be there for us. as friends as relatives, as someone to, too supportive. I'm not sure how I'm answering that but that's what comes to my brain.

Eric: 29:19

No that's totally fine. I think you can still be like an ally, like as a gay man, I can still be an ally to the trans community, even though like we're still part the, technically the L G B T qia A Yes. Spectrum. I can still be an ally I to the trans community. I am a huge ally to women. I've, in general, I'm always bitching about women's

Jae: 29:40

rights. Yeah, whole reproductive rights thing. Thing. Exactly.

Eric: 29:47

Yes.

Jae: 29:47

The things that go on just amaze me. what is it? Someone sent me a meme of something about. it's, we're policing women's genitals, if we're gonna have that same attitude, men should be not be using Viagra or anything. Yeah. Yeah. It goes both ways. Absolutely. Or

Eric: 30:05

should

Gil: 30:08

Oh, absolutely. It's God's will for you not to get up.

Jae: 30:10

God's will for you to have limp.

Eric: 30:11

Exactly.

Jae: 30:16

Yeah, I had to laugh at that one.

Gil: 30:17

Yeah.

Eric: 30:17

What's the, go ahead. Oh,

Gil: 30:19

oh, I was just gonna ask what what would your younger self think of you today?

Jae: 30:25

Oh, geez. I would hope that my younger self would be proud of the person that I'm becoming okay. I still have a long way to go, there's still many years in this life, I hope. But to see that. Flourishing as a person and I'm able to see, who I am and I guess what I'm trying to do with my life and become a better person every day. Albeit not perfect in any way, what is perfect, what's normal anymore? I

Eric: 30:53

don't think anyone has any, there's no perfection

Jae: 30:55

anywhere, right? It's just, it's, it shouldn't even be a thing. We should be able to be our ourselves authentically every single day and not have to fear for our lives and not have to worry about what's gonna happen. But even in that state I still I think I'd be pretty proud of myself when I'd be able to tell my younger self that. It's gonna work out. It's, you've got something to fight for you. You've got something to live for.

Eric: 31:16

What do you think of what's the importance of pronouns?

Jae: 31:20

Pronouns, I think, are important to I guess help identify the person to how they feel or how they want to be labeled. I know some people don't even care for labels. They don't care to be called anything. It just depends on the person. But to have that and, be respectful of it Oddly, even now I will say more now than even when I was younger, I was so offended when I was younger to be called a man or referred to as a guy. But now it's, if someone calls me sir, I'm just like, eh, I don't think I'll ever, I really don't care. Okay. I've just, I've become relaxed with it. But I know people, people I won't say they clinging to those identities or to those pronouns, but it's what makes them feel comfortable. And I think that's what we should do, is to, whenever to make them comfortable so that we, they feel safe. And I think I'm going off topic. No,

Eric: 32:06

What's your opinion on today's generat? And how, yeah, we talk about like how fluid this generation is. Majority of, I mean there's definitely the group that's not, but but it's

Gil: 32:17

so small in comparison.

Jae: 32:20

Yeah. I think, with technology in social media, the world has become smaller, but I think in some ways, with more specifically like TikTok. I've learned a lot just in the past few years with that platform. But I've also noticed the younger generations, they seem to be more open-minded and they want the information and they crave it. So I think we have a brighter future in that regard that, people are able to give those, that information and for them to receive it. So I'm, yeah. I'm hoping, I do have nieces and nephews that are still pretty young and hopefully one day, especially having me as their auntie that they're able to be more receptive and more accepting of people. Yeah. And can be a light for us when Yeah. And for the generations to come. Yeah, definitely.

Gil: 33:12

And then what kind of things do you have going on for you in the upcoming, like year or a couple years that we know that you're gonna be moving back home?

Jae: 33:19

I am in a movie that came out earlier this year. Oh, congratulations. Amazing. Sorry. That's a Congratulations. That's amazing. Oh, thank If it's out now. If you have any interest in it. It's called On Sacred Ground. It's about the Dakota Pipeline access that happened in 2016 when Oh, okay. those protests were going on. So that's when I'm only in a three second clip, but you've seen me riding a horse. That's my whole big moment there. Awesome. Love that you're in it. I'm in it. And then I'm in a Marvel series coming out hopefully this summer. Oh, awesome for that. Oh, awesome. Amazing. That one. It's, yeah, that one's called Echo. I don't think it's a big secret because they had all the casting pages and they had the casting calls for not that I can give out a whole lot of information on it, but that one is coming out and so I'm officially part of the Marvel universe. Yay. Congrats.

Eric: 34:10

Awesome. Congratulations. Love to

Jae: 34:12

hear that. Thank you. You're welcome. And I'm also, I did also another casting call. I didn't hear back yet. It's still pretty early, but if you've ever heard of reservation dogs, that's on Hulu. Yeah. I have applied for that as well, so we'll see if I get that. Because it's time will tell. Yeah. Awesome. I know thousands have applied for that and have centered, their stuff for it, okay. Yeah, those, that's my big happenings right now.

Eric: 34:37

Super excited to hear that. That's wonderful. What ways do you think we can do better as a community?

Jae: 34:47

I think we need to just listen to each other. listen and find out what each other needs and, help each other out. um, I think that's lacking is a lot of not understanding or not opening up, to each other's needs and just pushing for our own things. And I can be guilty of that myself. I'm not really active like I should be. Or I can be Because I've just been living in my little world. But I think that's a big step. And that's that I, that would go a long way.

Eric: 35:15

Yeah. No, I think that's true. That's very important. Very

Jae: 35:18

much

Gil: 35:19

Okay. We're gonna be starting we've been starting this for the last, this season our, what we call the Q lounge rapid fire queues. So Eric's gonna kick it off. we're just gonna just ask, several, a little bit deeper questions. Okay. There's a couple. So good

Jae: 35:33

luck,

Eric: 35:34

Yeah. And the first thing that comes to mind. Yes. When have you felt your weakest?

Jae: 35:40

When as a teenager, like when I was 14, 15 years.

Gil: 35:45

when have you felt your strongest?

Jae: 35:46

God, I wanna say when I'm dancing at POW's, I feel my strongest. Love that.

Eric: 35:54

That's awesome. What's a feeling you

Jae: 35:57

miss? Ooh, good one. A feeling I miss. I don't know. I can't think of anything right now. Okay.

Gil: 36:09

The

Jae: 36:09

feeling you cherish, the feeling I cherish? I cherish feeling loved, be it family or friends or a significant other if I had one. But just knowing that I have that, the family connection and I cherish that

Eric: 36:24

love that. Finish this statement. I want to thank myself for existing Awesome.

Gil: 36:35

And a piece of advice or mantra you

Jae: 36:38

live by. Be true to myself or to yourself. Perfect. That's great

Gil: 36:45

advice. That is great advice,

Jae: 36:48

Pretty basic.

Eric: 36:49

No, that's great. Thank you Jae so much for joining.

Jae: 36:53

Thank you for having me. Listen, thank you so much.

Eric: 36:56

Yeah, thank you. Thank you guys, everyone for listening to us. You can catch us at theqloungepodcast.com. You can listen to us wherever you listen to your podcast. Please rate and subscribe. You can make donations. If you wanna support this podcast, help us grow a little bit. You can email us at info.theqlounge@gmail.com. and you can always hit us up on Twitter and Instagram @theQLounge or a Facebook @theQLoungepodcast. I do answer all dms and messages. Sometimes it takes me a couple hours, but I do get to that at some point. So yeah, we don't ghost anyone here. Yeah, we don't ghost anyone. We're antigo ghosts any pluggables that you have, Jae? Any what?

Jae: 37:43

Pluggables. Oh, pluggables. Excuse me. Twitter.com is j a e number two. And go. So JJ two go. And then I, on YouTube it's oh my God. What is my YouTube? I don't even know. My YouTube. Oh, it's belly J. So belly. And then j a e.

Gil: 38:00

Okay. Okay. Awesome. And we'll put it obviously in the notes. Everyone Yeah, we'll put

Eric: 38:05

it, we'll put it in the show notes and everything. So thank you guys so much for joining us. Thank you, Jae. And we will. Thank you.

Jae: 38:12

See you guys later.

38:16

The Q lounge. The Q lounge. Be sugar daddy. The Q lounge. The Q lounge. In your authenticity.