Sept. 14, 2022

Season 4, Episode 9 (Quinn)

Season 4, Episode 9 (Quinn)

Gil and Eric were joined by the multi talented and best selling author Quinn Fontaine.  We had so many laughs and a lot of heart.  Check him and his book out at

Quinn Fontaine

Hung Like a Seahorse

Transcript
Eric:

The following episode contains discussion of deadnaming sexual assault and abuse as well as drug use. Hello and welcome to the Q lounge, I'm Eric

Gil:

and I'm Gil.

Eric:

join us as we discuss news stories and life situations, as they relate to the LGBTQIA plus experience, please visit us at theQloungepodcast.com and hit that subscribe button or listen wherever you get your podcasts. If you would like to follow us on social media, you can hit us up on Facebook @theQloungepodcast or on Instagram or Twitter @theQlounge. Hi, welcome to the Q lounge. I'm Eric

Gil:

and I'm Gil

Eric:

and we are super excited to be joined by Quinn today with Quinn today. Did I say that right by Quinn today? Yes, I trip over my words all the time. Hi, Quinn.

Quinn:

How are you? Oh my God. Hi guys. So nice to meet you. You're beautiful. I did my research. I love what you're doing on the planet and it's just so great to see your faces.

Eric:

Oh, awesome. Thank you so much. You're beautiful as well. I'm gonna blush now. I'm so honored to have you. Yes. You have quite the repertoire of your comedian and playwright and bestselling author. Improv group, soul coaching,

Quinn:

recovering humanoid. There's a lot of human humanoid. There's a lot on the list. Yes.

Eric:

So yeah. That's you have done a lot, like you have your hands in many pots. I try to, I usually keep myself busy, but I was like, I'm tired. Just reading your bio stuff.

Quinn:

I gotta just say Gill. I love your laugh. Oh my God. I wanna do a, I want a bumper sticker that just says real men giggle. Right? it's so healthy. And when a laugh is contagious, like that, it's so special, you know it's so

Gil:

yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. It's half the podcast. I'm just laughing. Like I said, we're just friends talking and it's oh God,

Eric:

I know half the, just hear Gil going that. When did you realize you were part of the L G B Q I a plus community. And how did you realize?

Quinn:

Wow I've always said I grew up. As a little boy in the wrong body who happened to like girls in Virginia, in rural Virginia, in his six seventies and eighties. And so I'll be 55 in October and oh, wow. I totally thought like 32. Oh, thank you. No 55 and tired but I used to live in Los Angeles. Here's a little tip. I used to live in LA and I always lied up. Everyone else was lying down. I'd say, oh, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be 82 next Wednesday, just kidding. But I would go big and people's jaws would drop. That's what you do. If you're gonna lie about your age, hide the opposite way. And people like what you look. Yeah. so I was coming up in Virginia as a little boy in, my own words and I'm looking around for my people. I couldn't find anybody, but I knew at a really young age, I didn't have language for it. But there are photographs of me at, really young. And I have one in particular that I love it's in my book. And my book is called hung like a seahorse real life, transgender adventure of tragedy, comedy, and recovery. And I'm a F in truth teller. It's just bam all out there. I would love a more to. Yeah. And when I get back to Virginia, I have all my books. I'll mail you guys a copy. Yeah. Yeah. If you're interested, you gotta accept it. Just, no,

Eric:

I'm

very

Quinn:

interested. I'm very interested. I don't be like,

Eric:

saw your bio. I was like, dang it. I didn't read hiss book

Quinn:

yet. Don't worry about it. No worries. And that book came out about five just five years ago, this month, which is pretty special, but there's a picture of it. There's a bunch of pictures. So there's one of me in there as a little kid with sideburns. My shirt rolled up a cowboy shirt rolled up, just looking like I'm a little dude on break working union, having a SCA 1972 bought glass bottle of Pepsi. And I am the cutest little guy and I go, mom, what is up with a picture of me with sideburns and sh and literally, this is the story. Oh, I don't know, honey, maybe a neighbor cuts your hair. I'm like. What did I show up with a little sign or a little note that said I'm real like that. I wrote I'm really a boy in the wrong body. Give you some sideburns or did I go Hey, you know what? There's some huge shorties up in preschool. Let's pop these cheekbones that come on now. I dunno what happened. Here's the beauty of it. I don't have to know. We don't have to know our whole story. No, but I look back at that picture and I embraced that little guy. I'm like, you were already rocking Quinn. And my name, my birth name was so feminine. My birth name was Kathleen. And on that note, as you guys probably know, and most of your listeners know a lot of trans people and gender nonconforming people consider their birth name, their dead name. I was Kathleen for 47 years. I'm okay with that name. I made peace with that name, but I'm home now. And September 17th will be my eight year manniversary. That means yeah. Eight, eight years of look at you. You're gonna cry. Gill's going from laughter to tears. Just we just the switch. So to answer your question, that's a very long. Lot of words. I knew it four If I was in my, I was in my body and you look at that picture, you're like, that's a little boy owning himself. But I didn't have language for it till probably 10 or 11. I'm like, I'm a boy in the wrong body, maybe eight. But on that note, I don't remember my childhood before 11 I've pieced it together through photographs. I was a victim and a survivor now, thriver of preverbal, childhood sexual abuse at the hands of my dad. Oh. So my dad was messing with me. Let's go big and use the R word. If you can insert the R word. I don't wanna trigger too many people between four and six months of age that started. Okay. So yeah, I've been healing a lot. Wow. A lot of stuff. Jesus. Okay. Yeah. That's what I say. When I'm open, I'll talk about any Uhhuh I'm here.

Eric:

No, that's great. We've discussed that too. I'm also a survivor now, a thriver. I'm gonna take your words of sexual assault and everything from yes. Ages of five to probably like. 1516 with multiple different people and then being drugged as an adult in some that as well,

Quinn:

Okay. Wow. I'm grateful you're here and what a miracle, right? That we're all here to to tell our story and to step into thriver hood. Yes. How thought of survivor to thriver? Truly. Yes.

Eric:

I love that phrasing I'm yeah. And that's gonna be like a new little mantra for me. So I keep myself moving forward

Quinn:

and not survivor and a thriver keep owning it. It's an ongoing process. The work maybe slows down, but it really doesn't end

Eric:

very true. I've been personally been on a huge self-healing and growing journey. I guess probably just pre pandemic or just at the early stages of the pandemic and through. So it was just, everything's been a very big learning experience, emotions and situations that I had, oppressed and put into latency and forgot about just started hitting me. And I was like, oh my gosh, I remember that now. And then I was like, how do I deal with that? How do I make sense of that? And

Quinn:

so have you found good community and or help for that?

Eric:

Yes and no. I am still right now trying to find the therapist that works for me, but that hasn't happened, but I do have an amazing, like core group of support and friends and stuff like that. And actually this podcast has helped me tremendously as well, so

Quinn:

very cool. Very cool. Yeah. I crawled into town. I bought him down in Los Angeles and crawled into town to go to treatment here. I got down. I was doing crack cocaine and smoke and drinking every day for a year and three months after my trauma came up I didn't know about my childhood trauma with my dad until I was 37 years old. Oh, wow. And it came up after a trip with him, went back to Los Angeles where I was living, acted out, got a three year restraining order with an ex-girlfriend and it wasn't about her. I had all this rage and I thought it was about her. And then I started piecing it together. But long story short yeah, I was finally able after a year and three months of crack and alcohol and a lot of other dangerous behavior and praying to a God, I didn't fully believe in at the time. Just take me. I don't know how to do this planet. And every day I'd wake up. I crawled into town 120 pounds. My name was Kathleen to go to a place that I found online called. It was here in Santa Fe, it's called the life healing center, intensive trauma resolution. And I knew by the name I knew by the name alone. And it said Santa Fe, New Mexico. And I'd been here once I knew I had to get here. And that's where I started my journey. So April 12th, 2006, brought me to Santa Fe. I stayed to start my life over and I just am so grateful to be here because many people that move here hear the same thing. They hear Santa Fe's either gonna chew you up and spit you out in record time, or it's gonna lift you up and love you. Like you've never been loved. And I'm so grateful. It's been the second, the latter the second.

Eric:

Yeah. I'm so glad too. And I'm glad you were able to get that help in treatment and everything else and that you're here and that you're in the world. Yes. We need more beautiful souls in this world.

Quinn:

Aw, thank you so much. Same. I feel you guys through the screen.

Eric:

Did you have

Quinn:

any part? Huh? I've prepared a Dance's interpretation for the answer to this next question.

Eric:

Just, okay. Sounds good, too bad. This is all in audio form. So our listeners won't be able to see it, but I'll enjoy it.

Gil:

No.

Eric:

Was there any hard part of accepting yourself or anything like that?

Quinn:

Oh my God. Yeah. Self hate. The level of self hate I carried for years I always thought my shortlist, I knew deep down that my shortlist, if you will, didn't justify it. And my shortlist was, and I'm talking about self hate. I'm talking about beyond self hate, just rage, but I, my shortlist was we're poor. We're poor and that's hard. Or we moved around so much. I was born in the Philippines and my dad was in the service and moved us around at his request every six months to a year. So by the time I was six, we'd moved eight times. Wow. Okay. We're poor. We moved so much. I didn't have a core group of friends. So I was, starting at six I'm a boy in the wrong body who happened to select girls in a state called Virginia, which state motto is Virginia is for lovers. And I knew that did not mean. From an early age. I'm like Virginia is for lovers. Not the way I love cuz I can't even talk about it. And when I was coming up there, wasn't LG, there wasn't even B, there was LG and it was the lesbian and gay March on Washington once a year that got covered by mainstream media, I'm talking, pre-internet pre everything. And so once a year I'd like peak at the camera, peak at the TV to see that was my people. That was my pep. I didn't see any little boys and girls' bodies. I like those. Aren't my people. I love them, but they're not my people. So yeah, I struggle a lot. I never started drinking or drugging until I left my hometown. Why? Cause I didn't wanna lose control and tried to kiss one of the cute girls. Cause I heard growing up. Oh my God, Kathleen, you'd be so cute. dot.do. If only you were a. And I didn't have the skillset to say close your fucking eyes. Let's pretend it was tricky. It was really tricky. And and then what all made sense for me later, Eric, these are very long answers to

Eric:

your questions. No, I love it. We love this take all

Quinn:

the time you want, it just feels like a super safe and brave and courageous space. It does. Yeah. When the trauma came up at 37, finally, I was like, oh, this makes sense to the level of rage. I have carried towards myself and life for years. This makes sense to the level of profound sadness I've carried for years. That all finally made sense. And when I got to treatment here in Santa Fe, one of my biggest fears was now, first of all, you have to understand this was the first time I'd really surrendered and thought I can't do it. My best thinking wants me dead suicidal ideation. Since the age of 11, it's gotten way better. Sometimes it's still kicks up. But. I'm like my best thinking really, truly wants me dead. My best thinking thinks smoking crack for a year and three months is a good decision, on a slow death, whatever path. So that first surrender was huge to go. There has to be at least one person. I don't care if it's the janitor or the cook or the chef working at a place with a name like that, the life healing center that isn't just punching a time Curry. And I was met with so much grace and so much love, but when I got there, I said this, I said, guys, my biggest fear is if I start crying, I'm never gonna stop. And if I start raging, I'm never gonna stop. And they very lovingly said, as far as we know, in the course of human history, that hasn't happened yet. There's no whaling woman. We go visit in the woods. There's no man on some sh remote island that hasn't stopped raging. Yes. People go crazy and things happen, but no one's been consistently stuck in that so right. how

Gil:

did your friends and family take it when you finally had your self-acceptance your true, authentic

Quinn:

self for the transition, or to talk

Gil:

about for both? Cause yeah, two different.

Quinn:

Yeah I had to do the trauma work first. I always knew I was trans, but I was so scared to transition. I thought that's the bravest thing in the world. and we see people that don't pass and passing politics are real. And for someone that grew up with major trauma, since I was a baby, I had so much fear and I would see people that don't quite pass. I'm like that is the bravest thing in the world. That is the bravest thing in the world. Plus my projected fear was what if I transit. and I just look like a gay man and then I'm gay bashed and murdered. And I would fast forward to my EPIT. Is that what it's called on the tombstone? And I would see this is all fantasy unhealthy fantasy. I would see. We thought he was a faggot. I'm like, that's not cool. Bring all that back yet. Quinn cuz probably that shit happens on the planet is cussing. Okay. On this

Eric:

show. Oh, cussing is OK. Let's as much as you want.

Gil:

OK, let's go. Fuck. Fuck.

Quinn:

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck shit cussing. Now we're gonna do the cussing chorus but I had to realize that back in and go. That is my fear projected. So anyway, I started talking about my trauma. I came, I was already the psychedelic sheep in my family. I was quickly embraced by my mom and my sister and my niece. And then the, my dad's side of the family really wrote me off except for one cousin and just a tricky time. But with the transition I've had so much love and support friends and family. It's amazing. It's been incredible. It's been in. I love that. And the people that knew me before, they're like, wow, not only are you home in your body. I don't know if I've ever experienced you this consistently happy. Yeah. And consistently able to get out of bed. Cause depression and anxiety have been a challenge

Eric:

too. Yeah. Yeah. No depression and anxiety are, I suffer from both anxiety, not so much anymore, but depression, but I also just went through my own medical issue and most of that's gone right now, so that What has been the hardest part for you for your own self-acceptance

Quinn:

around the trauma or the transgender or the whole thing? The whole thing I think the biggest, these are really great questions by the way. I think the first thing I wanna say is getting real and realizing that. I and everybody else, we're not our stories. we're not what happens to us. And for years I thought that was my limitation. Growing up poor, growing up with all this pain, growing up with trauma feeling late to the game with getting in my body and doing my work in the world. We're not our stories. So stepping out finally of my story was huge. But to face the trauma work was one of the hardest things I've ever done. And I say this often to do the trauma work, to do the multiple addiction recovery work at the same time. I crawled into town, crack addict, alcoholic, sex, and love addict pills, pot, dangerous behavior, everything except eating everything except gambling. But I was gambling with my life or beginning take, I dunno how to be here. Come on. So to do all of that at once, get clean off of all that and jump into the trauma work was, and still has been it's the hardest and most beautiful thing I've ever done. It really truly is. So I hope I put that answers your question. Just dealing with the I don't like to say demons dealing with the negative talk negative self-talk which was so loud for so long. Guys, no matter what time I would wake up now, keep in mind. I didn't own a dairy farm or work at Dunkin donuts. I could wake up at 3:00 AM. You're late. And that was the messaging you're late for your life. You're you know, and I grew up with this woundedness, and I've healed so much and there's still work to do, but this idea that truly I carried around so much self shame that energetically, if I knew I was gonna be meeting you, if I was gonna be meeting you, I would energetically send you an apology gift. Now, none of that's true, but that's the, does that make sense? Yeah, no, that makes, yeah, that sums up. I would be so nervous about meeting people. There was a time in Los Angeles that I wouldn't go to the grocery. Do 'em with some agoraphobia, but my reason to not go to the grocery store is I don't want people to have to see me cuz I'm so utterly disgusting and ugly that I don't wanna upset their days or trigger them into their trauma. That's the level of self hate I'm talking about. I used to look in the mirror not to do affirmations. I didn't even know the word self and love went together till I got to treatment. I used to look in the mirror and punch the mirror with a full fist and hurt my hand. Then we're talking about years later doing mirror work. I'm like what's mirror work. They're like, just look in the mirror and look in your own eyes and find, look soul to soul and try to be soft belly and openhearted. I would, I could look sideways. And then it could organically start looking. And now I can look into my own eyes and tear up and just say, I got you little Quinn, man. I'm sorry. It took me a long time to learn how to adult, but I fucking got you. I love that.

Eric:

I feel like you're like talking right to me with some of that stuff. I'm like, I don't want to be seen by a lot of people too.

Quinn:

it's very powerful stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I really say, I say this a lot too. We, I really believe we teach whatever what we most need to learn in whatever way And so for me that, yeah, so for me, that is, I most need that. I most need to know that it's safe to see and be seen hear and be heard, feel, and be felt love and be loved. Cause I could do all the output. I could do all of it out. I see you. I hear you. I feel you. I love you. But to let it in to receive as a trauma survivor now, thriver, that's a whole different thing. And to do that, I'm not just talking sex. I am talking sex, but I'm talking energy. Love people, everybody. Yeah. To do that clean and sobers next level too. Yeah.

Gil:

It's a lot of work. Oh my goodness. yeah. Are you able to explain a little bit more on the cuz you do soul

Quinn:

teaching? Correct? I do soul. Like I wasn't sure. Oh yeah. Yeah. I call it soul. I call it soul coaching because soul coaching. Yes. Yeah, because the words, life coaching don't work for me because I haven't figured out life. I just haven't. What I do is meet with clients and I have clients ranging in age from eight to 81. And what I do is soul coaching. There's no hierarchy. There's nothing on the wall that says I'm better than you. My art's on the wall. But that just says I'm weird. There's nothing, there's no certificate that says hierarchy. There's no hierarchy. It's literally soul to soul. So I tell everybody I'll meet you soul to soul. We'll have aha moments. I'll look stuff up in real time, but I'll share everything I've used along the way to get more embodied. Get more in alignment, my body spirit to get more in touch with my passions, to do my art in the world will set up short, and long term goals. So it's a really like having a loving accountability partner. And just meeting people right. Where they are to bring them back to themselves, to gently hand them back to themselves. Because it's all an inside job, but we can't do it alone. We need each other, we really do on this planet. We're social beings, no matter how. Yeah. How sometimes if we need meet our alone time, ultimately we're social beings. Yeah. Does I hope that answers your question? No, it does. It does very much

Eric:

what are the importance of pronouns to you? Or what do you think what's your opinion on pronouns?

Quinn:

I think it's really important and I love that you both have yours up and I don't, on the zoom guys, if you're on. So I am Quin Fontain he, his, and it was a big day when I got my gender marker changed on my driver's license and all that happened. New legal name. I was telling everybody at DMV, I was here in Santa Fe. I was telling everybody I have never looked so good guys in a driver's license picture. I was so happy. That's amazing. So those are hard earned and hard one on that note. Some of them I'm old school and I'm almost 55. So some of 'em I can't keep up with I get, they them theirs. it's a shift for me with it being plural in my teaching, in my old school mindset around English. But I get a little lost on say Z's theirs or the X I one. And then I did an interview. Someone reached out to me seeing if I would. Read the Q and a at the Jean cocktail years ago. And this person, I can't even say they, this person is beyond pronouns, so this person just wanted me to use their name. Okay. And so I did. And so this person, I said listen, I'm probably gonna mess up. If you're open to that, I'm not, I'm gonna try not to, but if I do, and I might let's redirect in real time and teach the audience that there's no shame in learning. And this person loved that idea. So when I'm reading this person's book it's very tricky, cuz I can't use pronouns. So I'm reading this person's book and this person said in doing this person's research, they came upon a youngster who was even further beyond pronouns than them than that person than the author. The person who had been interviewed said they used only an emoji. So then I'm thinking I'm here at home, in my loft here in Santa Fe, reading this and I saw the emoji and I'm thinking, what if I don't have your emoji in my back pocket? What if it's not stored easily to find on my phone? How do I talk to you? And I literally threw the book across the loft space. And I was like, okay, just own this frustration. What is this about? I am frustrated that some people in our community have made it so hard for other people to be accessible. Does that make sense? If you mess up with them, they're militant and angry and there's no in there is no redirecting in real time. Mean there are a few people in the community I avoid because I know I might mess up because they scare me. But having said all that, I get freedom of choice. I get that fully. What, I'm what scares me is that it's harder to communicate with people and I'm a communicator I'm here to help humanity heal, and it's only gonna happen through communication. So communication has to be easier. Now, if your pronouns are all these other things and that's cool, you, I need you to have a pin on it all times to remind me. I know thousands of people on this planet, I need help me help you so that you won't be rageful at me. Let's, dissipate the rage. That's my long answer to that one. Eric's yeah. Quinn wrap it up. That's fine. No, no

Eric:

worries. Keep

Gil:

going. Keep

Quinn:

going. No. What are your thoughts on that one? What I just shared. Oh, and last thought on so there's these two 20 something you may have seen the video. They're white, young people, 20 somethings, and they got on their, on the video and they have all this crazy intense eye makeup. And they're like, we're gonna teach you about demonic pronouns. I'm Dean damn dares and this person, and they had other demonic pronouns. And I'm. All right, guys. I love you. You're in your twenties. You're individuating. You're finding yourself, put it on a pen. If you want me to really get it. Hi. I have demonic pronouns and it's this, and this I'll do my best, but at the same time, I'm like, that's part of the, I think I feel that's part of the pendulum swing and that will come back a little bit at some point. What are your thoughts guys? I'm very curious,

Gil:

I guess for me I'm glad that people are very proud of their pronouns or you like, it helps identify who they, they are as a person for me, I've never really cared about my own personal pronouns because within the community I'd be called. She, they, he queen I guess for me, I'm just like, Just don't be late to dinner kind of thing. more I'm Gill. Yeah. Gilbert hurt. I just, as long as there's that respect part, but just on my level, I don't, it doesn't bother me one way or the other. Because I'd been called everything under the sun pretty much. I was like, okay, I'm responding. But that's always just, that's just me in my journey with that one. But if someone's very PE the particular, then I have that have to have that respect as well for that. So that's where I'm at, but just, I just don't like to be berated about it, cuz I'm a little bit younger than some people, but at the same time, I'm, I am part of that, that in between generation of where, I remember some where it wasn't okay to be out. And then now it's more the complete opposite where it's like, how are you not out there? Screaming and knowing every pronoun now then I'm like, oh I missed the memo somewhere in between. So that's where I, my educational part,

Quinn:

I need to what are your thoughts? What are your thoughts on this emoji? Pronoun. What do you, how would you handle that? I didn't

Gil:

know. It was a thing. So I'm learning right now. I didn't know.

Quinn:

Yeah. My thought was like, unless you have a printed out emoji, that's laminated that you hand every single person you meet, so then they can just go I ran into, and I, and said that you gotta keep holding it up. It just isn't for me, it's not practical or accessible. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's tricky. Tricky.

Gil:

That was interesting. Rockville was like when prince I believe was going by like a logo, right? Yes. For a second there. Yes. And that's that's the only time I'm

Quinn:

getting a flashback of yeah. But he's world famous. So it's a little very right. Yeah. Very different. Everyone knows.

Gil:

Right, yeah. How about you? It's interesting. Yeah. Tricky.

Eric:

Tricky. I think pronouns are important. I think as Gil said, it's about respect and a level of respect and being open to how people identify. I have conversations often about they, them and people not accepting those as pronouns for other people. And so I've had arguments about it. I've had just deep discussions about it. I've had my moments where I'm just get super mad and I just wanna leave enough because they're not listening to me. But then I look at myself, I'm like, okay, how am I not communicating this properly? And so I have to in the moment and do some homework and figure out what do I need to do to be more effective in my communication on this. I think reclaiming your pronouns or your words in general can be very liberating. So I think people should have the freedom to identify how they feel. They identify. And in general, people need to be open and accepting and willing to learn or be educated on how people identify and why they identify in the ways in which they do. So

Quinn:

I agree wholeheartedly. I get lost. I've, I have they, them clients and I've made that transition for me. That was a grammar thing years ago. Yeah. I've made that transition verbally, but what about the emoji piece? That's where I get thrown in the demonic pronouns. Like I'm like, okay guys, what else are we? It's do you understand, I'm saying pendulum swing,

Eric:

no, it's definitely a pendulum swing. I think. As you said, it's gonna go to one extreme and then it'll balance out. As Gil said, the emoji thing was new for me too. So listening to I'm like, oh wow, I'm learning something completely new. And then when you said, like handing out laminated emojis, I'm like sometimes like Android phones and apple phones don't translate emojis properly at all. You may not have that emoji.

Quinn:

I didn't even think of that. So Wow. So it's reverting back to graphic design and handing out little placards. Yeah.

Eric:

Wow. Yeah. But very fast at the same time, I guess I'm open to the fact that someone does identify via emoji and would be interested to know why, whether it's my business or not, but just

Quinn:

it's fascinating. It is. Yeah.

Gil:

But it definitely, I think it shows the hard work that the community has put in also to get to the point where that's, what we're talking about versus before it was very just being gay or being out there was already the big statement.

Quinn:

And now we're kinda like fine

Gil:

tuning down to how do you wanna be represented as an individual, on this planet for however long you're gonna be here and being as happy and authentic as you could possibly be in that time span. And hopefully they're not the younger ones are not dealing with what I dealt with, what you dealt with or anyone prior to us. Cause yeah, that wasn't cool.

Quinn:

yeah. Good point. Yes. Yes.

Eric:

What do you think about I guess the generation now and how things are for them? Cuz Gil was making the, just like how, seeing how things have changed for them versus how it was for us coming up and everything.

Quinn:

One of my best friends has four kids and she just married her best friend first time. So I call her latent life LBO. OK. and she was married, to a man for years, four kids. And she married her sweetheart. They have a blended family of six kids. Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah. And the age range, I believe is 10 to 22. Okay. Okay. They are so funky and so open and they don't give a shit about the stuff that we were obsessed about. It's so scared about. And on that note, it's so great. It's just so great. Nothing phases them, especially the little ones they're just like, oh, okay. And so Susan actually was the director of Susan Neely shouted out to you director of all three of my solo shows and she does the world's worst. World's worst therapist off camera for two of the shows, just a genius of the soul. Her four kids all grew up calling me uncle Kathleen, and you should have seen their little kids, their little, their friends' faces go. What did you just say? And then they would so simply go that's uncle Kathleen, like no big deal. And it warmed my heart in the biggest way. It was amazing. And then they just effortlessly made the transition with me from uncle Kathleen to uncle Quinn, but to see them literally as little six and seven and eight year olds talking like uncle Kathleen's over there, what did you say? And then they really literally just thought their friends didn't hear them. And they're like, that's uncle Kathleen. And then the other kids be like, okay, it just took 'em a minute. But yeah, there's something magical about that. And I have mentors that are kids just by living how they're living. I'm like, okay, I need to, I need some of that freedom, right? Yeah. It's no, I

Eric:

think children are so open and accepting until they're taught to not be.

Gil:

Exactly. So unfortunately, very unfortunately. So what's your opinion then on allyship or what would make a good ally?

Quinn:

Let me tell you, that's a great question too. I love these questions guys. I've been so blessed, so grateful. I have been living my life out on Facebook since, since I could, or since I chose to it, which has been from the get go and to have people from my childhood. Cause I, I call it my original tribe outside of family of origin. The people I went from kindergarten to 12th grade with in a small town. They're my original tribe. We napped together. We did everything together, prepubescent all of it. And they knew growing up, I was different. No one really knew what was going on, but I never tried to date men. I never, boys, I never faked it. I. I was just an artist or whatever else to have a lot of these people become friends on Facebook to reconnect and to have them love me through my journey has been such a beautiful thing. And that right there to me is allyship that right there and allyship can happen at any point with any person, but to have those people like get me and love me and not question it, they're like, it all makes sense now. And I've never seen you so happy. And just to have that love and support has been phenomenal. Phenomenal.

Eric:

I love that. I think that's great.

Quinn:

Do you have any advice for your younger self? Aw I wanna thank my younger self for not giving up. Yes. And leaning into the hard stuff and then showing up and I wanna thank my younger self for finding humor. I became a class clown really early and I realized, yeah, I realized if I can make people laugh. Yeah. Then they're not laughing at me. If I can make them laugh at something else or with me, then they won't, maybe won't be laughing at me. But my, my my advice would just be, stay strong and keep going and fucking relax Quinn. It's all. Okay. Just chill out, buddy. Yeah.

Gil:

Chill out.

Eric:

How, and where do you find your strength and solace to keep going and to keep moving forward? Are what did, what tools did you use to drag you out of your darker times?

Quinn:

Yeah, and in, I still battle with some depression and whatnot, but I I start every day with meditation and prayer just to connect with the universe and to. Say, thank you in advance and ask for a little guidance and help, but just to connect and slow down. Okay. And no matter what time I wake up and I have very odd sleep schedule, no matter what time I wake up, you're an artist. Of course you do. Yeah. But I also wake up thousand percent awake. It is so weird. And I heard years ago, I call it rocking a George Burns because I heard years ago, the little white guy to live with the cigar. He played God in a couple movies back in the day. Yeah. Oh God, you double. Yes. Someone said to him, what is your secret to longevity and happiness? He goes, it's pretty simple. When I wake up, I get up and when I get up, I do something. So I call it rocking. His George Burns for me. It just means get up and move energy. Don't lay in bed ruminating, wondering where the sheep are, whatever you're supposed to count to go back to sleep. No I'm awake. Get up. Meditation and prayer, I go to, I do a lot of recovery meetings. I stay creative. I stay in motion. I've started working out again. I gotten away from that for a little bit. My connection to people has really helped me. I listen to a lot of beautiful music. I do a spiritual service twice a week on a live stream out of Los Angeles with one of my spiritual mentors. Oh. And I start, I try to stay busy with full days and balance days, not workaholic, crazy producer days. So I finally learned about that too, just to have a balanced day. Yeah. And at the end of every evening before I go to sleep and I tell all my clients this and all my students guys count your wins. Because if you can count, just look at your day. If there's stuff you need to offload and do tomorrow, write it down, get it outta your body temple, put it on paper, get it outta your body. But before you go to sleep and before you enter the dream space, count your wins so that you're reviewing your day and really going into your sleep feeling triumphant because you take that energy into your dream space and you wake up feeling differently. And some days not often, but some days seriously, my win list is short it's. I stayed clean and sober. I didn't hurt myself. I didn't hurt anyone else. Usually that means with my mouth, with my words, or my attitude. Some days that's a huge day. Most days it's a lot more than that, but no matter what you've had, even if you've had a crap day review your day and say what am I proud about? I'm actually proud that whatever, that's a win and that energy can really change things.

Eric:

Absolutely. Yeah. I, some days great advice. I'm like, just getting out of bed is a win for me, especially like that. Cause I have chronic illness and other stuff.

Quinn:

Count that every night, seriously, when you go to sleep, I got out of bed today. I made this phone call that I've been dreading for six months and it was easy. Yeah. Yeah. Or I cleaned that one junk drawer. It doesn't matter. cause it's really about moving energy. It really is. And when we congratulate ourselves and celebrate, even the smallest seemingly smallest wins, it gives us permission to like, wow, that is true. It's enough. How many of us came onto this planet and got the message that just by being here that's enough. Very few of us. Yeah. It was like you're okay. And little boys from the time you're a baby. It's like little man. You've never heard. You've never heard little woman to a two month old that you've heard little man. Yeah. That's a whole nother topic. A whole nother show but then kids are asked from the minute they can talk. What do you wanna

Gil:

be when you grow up? Let him be four. Let him be

Quinn:

four years old. Yeah, absolutely. Oh,

Gil:

yes. I was gonna say, especially like growing up in a eight half Asian household kind of thing, it was the expectations, like by 18 going to college, you should be ready to go. You have to be a doctor. You're ready. The bar was said high on top of this it's I wanna be a political science major. They're like, what the hell is this?

Quinn:

right. You probably only expectation is right. You only had a few options, doctor, lawyer. Oh yeah. Any other

options?

Gil:

Something nursing would be your backup plan B yeah. Oh, I'm in retail. So the curb

Quinn:

So my, I gotta say this too. My, my dear friend, Susan, with her four kids, wherever they would go growing up, when they go shopping, they pull up and they go, we're here. We're queer. Let's go shopping. So these little kids have said that their whole lives,

Eric:

I love that. that's amazing. Isn't that awesome?

Quinn:

That is so great. And other families are like, what is going on? It's not even pride much. and this is back in Maryland. She raised all her kids too. Funny, too funny. That's awesome. Shout out.

Eric:

yeah. Shout out to Susan.

Gil:

Yeah.

Eric:

well since you just mentioned pride what is your opinion on pride? Is it important? Why or why not?

Quinn:

Yeah, I think it's really important because so many of us. We're carrying and some of us still are carrying shame and, or residual shame. From the trauma of identity. And it's not the truth, not the case for everybody, but a lot of people. Yes. And especially our older demographics, me included I'm healing, shame and embracing, being trans, being out, being proud. I was pride king 2018 in Santa Fe and that was incredible. What an honor. Awesome. Congratulations. Yeah. Oh, it was such an honor. It was such a sweet thing. It's a big deal. I think Pride's beautiful. And it's really important. Yeah, no, absolutely.

Gil:

Do you, we always like to ask this to most of our guests is, do you have called diva or you like an artist that you're like, that person like represented me growing up? So obviously like Eric, if you didn't know, he's a gigantic Janet fan possibly. I'm a huge, a Lennox fan. Was there anyone for

Quinn:

you growing up? God, you know what We grew up poor, I said that already. So yeah, my first ever 45 record was Lare by chic and I played it. It was cost me, like cost me like a dollar. I dunno, whatever it cost, but I just loved, I played it over and over and over. And I'm like 10 I'm, 10 years old. And I'm like, I don't even know what sexy means, but this is fucking sexy. And it's still my Anthem. It's still one of my anthems. Yeah, sure. And then then I was just so into the B 50 twos when I was in high school. Cause because that was like, I love that they were eclectic. I knew the drummer, the original drummer was gay. I knew they were loving and kind. And I love that they were just. For they were white, but other than that, it would seem pretty diverse and funky in terms of personality so those would be my two quick answers, because I didn't wanna say Patsy Klein. Just kidding. Although I loves Klein's yeah. Had a real nice, yummy feeling around Dolly part. That's a true story too. Dolly

Eric:

any guilty pleasure. Oh yeah.

Quinn:

lot. What you wanna know about? Yeah. I said, I already said a lot mid sentence. You're like any guilty PLA I said yeah, a lot. Yes. Where you wanna go with that?

Eric:

Where whatever you wanna share

Quinn:

well, God, that's wonderful. I loaded. OK. Where do I me to go with that? I just started doing a new clubhouse show it's every Wednesday morning, just a two hour, a one hour deal. And it's with a dear friend. I had no idea was such, I knew she was a genius, but I didn't know the level And so our new thing is we're gonna work on a musical and I'm still healing my singing shame. I was one of few, a few people that didn't make third grade chorus. I've always wanted to do a musical. I thought at one point hung like a SEAHO would be a great musical, but I didn't wanna spend three years working on it and finding funding. But with this woman, her name is Dr. Tiffany Wynn. We just have magic and we're not attached to the outcome. we're like I already rented a studio for this week. We're doing a two hour rehearsal working on our musical. We already found a backer. Someone goes, I wanna produce it. What we don't know, but we're just having fun. So that's a guilty pleasure. Thinking I'm a owning my, I am a dancer, but healing my singing shame and saying, fuck it. Yeah, I'm gonna do a musical. I've seen book of Mormon. Anything goes, it's gonna be that level of inappropriate. It's gonna be all about recovery. It's gonna be everything about everyth. Oh, awesome. This is the genital scene. What? That's awesome. so that's a guilty pleasure when I live alone right now, I've been I'm supposed to be here for three weeks. It's gonna be three months. Not right now, but sometimes I cannot put away my masturbation station. What did you say? I said my masturbation station. Yeah. So that's a guilty pleasure and I'm okay with that. Going solo is where it's at right now. What else do you wanna know? I'll go anywhere. What do you wanna know?

Gil:

Eric, take the lead. Welcome to the Q lounge after hours, right after

Quinn:

actually hold on. One more. Shout out. Areena Estul. Thank you for connecting me to these amazing souls. Shout out to Areena. Thank

Eric:

you, Areena. Love you. Yeah, Areena's amazing. No, that those are great. what is a masturbation station? Elaborate on that. Whatever you need

Quinn:

it to be. Okay. but there'll be a whole scene in the musical called masturbation station. Okay.

Eric:

what is this musical called? Did you, we don't have a name yet? No. Yeah.

Quinn:

Okay. We literally just started singing yesterday, as we were setting up to throw a party for a friend, who's just come through a really hard time. Okay. And it was inappropriate. We were laughing and crying. It was, and we're like, okay, this is what's next. I said, we're writing a musical. She goes, yeah, we are. We aren't sitting down okay, what's next? It just comes it's oh yeah, that's great. And then a mentor of ours came to the party and we told her, she goes, why are you guys so extra giddy? And I said, because we've been singing a musical for two hours setting up this room and she goes, I wanna produce it. I like, okay. And yeah, that's awesome. So

Eric:

I don't know. Definitely let us know. I love to come see it. If opportunity

Quinn:

arises, dear Eric, I couldn't say this on air, but I wanna let you know in detail what a master station

Gil:

can be.

Quinn:

I just like the words, masturbation station. I love,

Eric:

I think it's

Quinn:

it together? One time guys. 1, 2, 3

Eric:

masturbation.

Gil:

Yes.

Quinn:

Are you open and willing to be backup dancers in the show?

Eric:

Yeah I was a professional dancer. Dancer. You're a dancer. That's how I know Areena.

Quinn:

Oh my God. Yes. Because I was talking about, cause I haven't had lower surgery and my friend knows this. Okay. Everyone knows this. There's no secrets. I've had top surgery. I will have bottom surgery if, and when they perfect it But right now it still looks a little bit like a glorified fruit roll up and you have to be like, hold on, babe. No. I seriously,

Gil:

I really do like you hold,

Quinn:

Put a blow up package situation in your scrotal stack that they create for you. And you have to literally pump it up to get your penis erect. And from everything I've heard and seen and whatever else research you can't feel it a hundred percent. And right now I'm loving being in my body. Yeah. And we've heard of head wig in the head is angry inch. This is Quin Fontain and is very happy inch and a half. And I could give a shit cuz there are other toys if I need 'em but I'll tell you right now just to be in my body and have that to have full release, have freedom. Feel it all. No shame. That's next level. I never thought I ear never mind talking openly about my body. Yeah. That's I never, in a million years thought I would talk about this. I'm serious. It's been so liberating. And I don't do any of this for shock value. I do this because I'm a truth teller. And when, in the moments, when I'm too scared to tell the truth, what do I most need? I think other people being brave enough to tell their truth. So I'm reminded, oh yeah. That's where the authentic power is. Tell your truth be and your truth. Plus it's the perfect antidote. It's the best thing against. In this it's reclaiming it. Yes it's. Can I just say how much I love that you guys jumped in and sang with me masturbation station. Oh yeah. It's very, it's a very short, oh, we do. it's a very short song.

Eric:

Maybe we can remix at one of these.

Quinn:

Yeah. Get it up to 30 seconds from right now. We're now we're over five

Eric:

seconds. Single. Hey, 30 seconds is longer than most guys last

Quinn:

ah are you being serious? I've never seen the man. What are you talking about?

Eric:

Yeah, pretty much in my experiences. Most of them, about 30 seconds. Maybe two minutes, if you're lucky. Wow. Okay. No, not to say that I haven't had better experiences, but for the majority.

Quinn:

Just notice how quiet Gil is right now. I

Gil:

just, listen, I clutch my pearls. I'm just like, I'm like wreck

Quinn:

Oh, I love it.

Gil:

Oh my God.

Eric:

Talk to us a little bit about your book.

Quinn:

Yeah, so I did hung like a seahorse. Here's the deal. So I sat down to write my third ever solo show. Okay. And I knew the title was gonna be hung like a seahorse and nothing was coming. I didn't even know what stories I wanted to tell or what I wanted to talk about. I was early in my transition and I knew this needed to happen, but it couldn't, it wasn't coming. So it was my third solo show, nothing coming. I was like, oh, I should call that couple that I know from my spiritual center in Los Angeles. So Mara and Keith, Leon, I reached out to them. I said, Hey guys, I'm trying to write my third solo show. Nothing's happening. Didn't you start a production, a publication company or something, a publishing house. Can you pull a book out of me? I used those words. Can you pull a book outta me? And he wrote back. He said, that's exactly what we do. And I always give them credit because if it wasn't for them, the book wouldn't have happened. Their company is called you speak it publishing. And literally you set up phone calls with different editors, different people that work for them, and they have prompting questions and you just talk, they, you talk and they record it. Then they type it up. They send you the manuscript and that's how the book gets. That's how the book happens. So the book is called. Yeah. Hung like a seahorse, a real life, transgender adventure, tragedy, comedy, and recovery. And so I taught, I tell them to be gritty. Talk about everything from the childhood sexual abuse, to the drug addiction, to the self, hate to the recovery, to all of it. I had a mental, I had a psychotic break early in my transition due to UN to some UN unhealthy chording. C is that C H O R D I N G chording with my mom. I still needed her approval. I still needed her nurturing and she wasn't able to give it and I lost it. I snapped. Went to Menninger psych hospital in Houston for three months, super grateful that I had that opportunity. I had also done my healing center for three months which is here in Santa Fe. I'm just so grateful for that opportunity to heal in those settings. But the book is everything, but it's also funny and it's inviting and everyone that reads, it says, oh my God, it sounds like you're talking to me. I go, cuz I was talking, knowing that people would be reading it. So I'm talking. And so it has that, that really open fun feel if you that's awesome. And it's a short book. It's not long. You can read it in a day.

Eric:

I'm a slow reader. It might take me two.

Gil:

Do you have any other upcoming projects besides the our wonderful musical? We got a preview for

Quinn:

I, yes, actually, I I just wrapped, I did a ton of teaching on zoom. I ended up doing a hundred international all age improv classes, which was amazing, but I got pretty burnt out teaching on zoom. That's a tricky setting to teach improv I did a bunch of other classes as well. And the message I kept getting from the universe in my meditation of prayer time was Quinn wrap that up free up and it's you and a microphone, you and a microphone. I just kept getting that hit. So I'm getting back to my roots, which is stand up. That's where I started this switch. Oh, awesome. Oh, years ago in San Francisco, I started doing standup and then other things took off, but I'm coming back to that and it's different kind of standup because I wanna be able to. Of course make people laugh. But before every show I do and every speaking engagement, my intention is always the same. I want everyone to come together. I want people to laugh to cry, go, oh my God, what the fuck just happened? good to go. Oh my God. It's okay to be human. It's really okay to be me. I wanna hand everybody back to themselves gently. I want people to leave empowered going, oh my God. I'm fired up. And that was crazy. And why was I crying and laughing? And but I want moments. It's not really gonna be traditional standup where we can talk like this. Where we can just talk like this cause this is what's so needed. So I reached out of doing a, I got plugged in last minute to the cloud top comedy festival for their LGBTQ night here in Santa Fe. That's coming up the weekend of September 15th through 17th. It'll be my first ever festival as Quinn. So that's a big deal. Feels really excited. Yeah. I'm excited about that. I've got a couple things in the works. I've got, I'm talking to someone who wants to do a docu-series about my life. He's Quinn, this is more than a documentary. This is series. So that's in the works and we'll see what happens there. Oh, amazing. Excited. Just excited. So things are good. Good.

Eric:

That's amazing. It sounds like you have a lot going on and a lot of great things and positive things going

Quinn:

on. How many Eric Gil, how many of us said for year 20, 20? You're like, ah, this is gonna be my year 20.

Gil:

Twenty's gonna be my year. I did. We don't talk

Quinn:

about that year. I know, but I be, I did. And I'm sure a lot of people not just numerology. But it just felt like it was gonna be, and it's oh, okay. This is nobody's year but we got through it guys. We got put together

Gil:

together. Yeah, we did. I did too. I really thought 2020 was gonna be as like, oh, new decade. We're ready to go. I don't know what it was. It was life changing in the sense of finding, at least for me, it was more that self discovery of you're here to live. You're not here to work, to live kind of thing. It's or live to work kind of thing. It's just that discovery slowing life down and just, what the fuck am I doing here? Let's re rethink this again and that self worth. At least for me, that was during that pandemic time, I was like, okay, let's I'm sitting at home, let's work on myself. It was

Quinn:

scary. yeah, but you did it. How cool is that? Yes, it sounds like you both did it. You were very contemplative and it was leaning

Eric:

in. Yeah, it was very cathartic. I actually really, I didn't enjoy the pandemic as far as like COVID, the illness is concern, but correct. Being able to stay home and just really reflect on myself. I did a lot of growth and self discovery. I'm super introverted as it is in my everyday life. So I was like, my life hasn't changed cause I really don't see people anyways. So I'm fine being at home all day long but being able to do that self work and being able to really just deal with past traumas and actually recognize and realize that the, there were traumas that I had forgotten about. Was very cathartic and very healing for myself. I was, I got sick in 2021 with an autoimmune disease. And so like I just had surgery and actually that's been really freeing in and of itself too, cuz it's actually given me more of a voice and it's made me learn to speak up more and utilize my voice more. I was my thyroid. I had to have my thyroid removed and I noticed that cuz I'm very much a people pleaser I've fall into like that. FAW and freeze

Quinn:

part. I just learned about font. Have we talked about that on your show recently? Say that we

Eric:

have not talked about that recently. I don't think we've even talked about that yet. Fine

Quinn:

because that's fairly new to me. I only knew about fight flight or freeze with regard to trauma responses. I never heard about until recently. So

Eric:

FA is kind to, my understanding is basically when, think of what's it called? Oh God, I can't think of what now. Stockholm syndrome. Okay. So when you are like, you're abuser, you start to almost look for it and accept it and like you get attached to part of it. So then you start to seek out that type. Cause you're just willing to accept it. So yeah. Wow. Powerful stuff. That's to my understanding. So someone, one of my listeners

Quinn:

might well OK. Might as well. Yeah. But if, yeah. Wow. That's powerful.

Eric:

Yeah, so I've learned to I've been so much a people pleaser. And like I said, falling into those two categories that I've stayed very muffled in like my opinions. I'm like, I don't want to cause conflict. I don't want any confrontation. I don't say no. And then I've learned to say no now, and which is a powerful thing. And I've just actually been able to use my voice more. And I think it's. I in some ways say I made my own self sick because this is like your throat chakra. And I was like, muffling it and suffocating it and not letting it thrive. And so my body had this reaction to it. And now that it's gone, I'm like, now I better damn use because I've already sacrificed this gland for people pleasing and now that's gonna stop. And so that's also been very freeing for me finding the liberation in the illness.

Quinn:

That's powerful. Yeah. And I believe in that mind, body connection, like nobody's business. Yeah. That's not your dog. That's my inner puppy. he's alive and well, sh.

Eric:

How do you think the LGBTQ community is problematic and how do you think it can grow for the better or move into a better direction? Or does it need to move into a better direction? Is it like perfect the way it is?

Quinn:

I never thought of that, but my first thought was it always makes me sad that it's still really divided with women's events and men event men's events. Because, and that was before I even transitioned because it, now that I've transitioned, it's where do I really go? And I'm also, I'm a straight trans guy, so I don't belong really, truly too much at gay men's or gay women's events and that's and a lot of

Eric:

people I've noticed, sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off. A lot of people I've noticed don't and we had this discussion with another guest of ours. Don't actually realize that being trans. It doesn't mean that you are gay, you can be hetero trans or straight trans as well. And a lot of people don't realize that. And I'm just always yeah, you, that doesn't mean that,

Quinn:

right? Yeah. Yeah. No, it's very interesting. But I remember I was confused back in the day, watching Jerry Springer and all the other stuff wait, you transition then you like, I don't know. So my point is it's very confusing, but so someone just recently said, so wait you transition, but you don't sleep with men. I go, I never slept with men. They're like, but you don't now I'm. No, that doesn't change. That hasn't changed. Yeah. I'll always love gay male porn. Cause I just think it's raw and amazing. Young's that's it's hot because it's yeah, that's a whole other show guys. We got a couple more

Eric:

shows to do. Yeah. Anytime you wanna come back and have,

Quinn:

and

Eric:

we can start a whole new podcast and just call it masturbation session

Quinn:

we might make bank. Oh my God. So it's tricky. Yeah. But that's always made me sad that divide between men's and women's events. I love when it's everyone together. So that would be my only thing I think needs a little maybe healing. I don't wanna use the word healing, but that was my inner child, inner puppy child. Just kidding. But in terms of the community, I think it's diverse and growing and huge and like any diverse, huge and growing community, it needs. Maybe help with communication and finding direction, but I don't have any complaints right now. Gill's right here. Something's on the tip of his tongue. I see him getting ready to share. Yeah. I feel it. I feel it. I feel it really What about you guys? That's it's an interesting question.

Eric:

I, I think the sat what's problematic a lot of times, and I think you look at it as like a subculture of like society in it in itself. So it's mainly about division, but I look at it as division amongst like racist, race, racism, like racism. There's a lot of racism within the community still. There's a lot of division amongst like your CIS versus your trans. So I find that problematic and sad, cuz I feel like a lot of times speaking mainly is just like a CIS gay male. We're concerned with, we're concerned with things as it pertains to us and we don't care about the rest of the community. as long as it doesn't affect us, then it's fine. Whatever. And I find that problematic and I find that to be an issue. I think people often forget that the Q I a plus community umbrella is a huge umbrella and you have sexuality in there and you have identity in there, right? Yeah. And people often neglect the identity portion.

Quinn:

Because when it was just L G B T when it was just L G B T yeah. Trans was the only part of that. That was gender identity. Yeah. Yeah. Everything else was sexuality. So everyone, a lot of us got confused early yeah. It's been confusing.

Eric:

So I think if there's more communication, more openness more willing to learn from others, more willing to. Here are other people's experiences and not discount experiences because you, that may not be your experience and listen to what other people have gone through. I think that's how you heal. And that will be how you bring the community back together. Cause the community can be an amazing place for the youth or even for older people within the community, people who are just finding it wherever they are in their life, it can be amazing. But then you fall in there's sometimes you fall into these certain clicks and then you're like, oh wow. Like this is can be very toxic as well. And so I think it's finding those bridges or the material to build those bridges so that we can start to mend and heal. That's I guess my answer.

Quinn:

That

Gil:

makes sense that I think, especially like technology, doesn't quite aid our help for unification also where, certain algorithms or whatever will push and divide out the community as well on, oh, you must like this group or this, this is the way to go. And then God forbid you give us options. And then it's oh, I only prefer this. Is it a preference? Or is it an actual, you are a little prejudice underneath all that. And it just isolates you a little bit more versus I don't know, just actually just walking the community, but I think it starts with creating that same space also, and just, that. Lord knows, we love our youth and it's like, it's not an old versus young person or, this race versus that one or the L is bigger than the G or the really the G's the bigger part of it doesn't matter. Yeah. But also does the community work within ourselves because let's be real. It was a hetero people created the community for us to be, Hey, you're all lump together. Best of wishes. Yeah. I don't think we really chose this. It was kinda like thrown. You guys all have to be together. so there are some of that internal battling that we're having and it's, we're not, it's not like a piece of pie. Everyone can get an option for it. It's not like it's gonna disappear so that you think that's the way for me with the, it could be problematic. But also I think it's just, how do we make it work for us also as a community. Yeah, I think that's, I think that's very good. Yeah. that's pretty much What I know, I bitched about the flag before also like our flag is, so to me, it's too busy the way it looks. I know we're trying to include everyone, but I'm just, I just like a very simple,

Eric:

I the new

Gil:

flags, so I'm not a fan to be put all the colors, although I

Eric:

say, yeah, I don't know all the flags, so I'm still learning the flags, the different flags. So there's a lot

Gil:

Yeah. I seen so where they throw it all together, I was like, oh, it's too busy. Visually I can't. Yeah, but I get the whole representation part, but yeah. Yeah.

Quinn:

I don't even know. Where do you find the actual updated L G B T I. IA, where is the updated to the minute acronym, because it's changed so much. It's

Eric:

changed the last I know, knew it, and I'm hoping I don't get this wrong. So I'm gonna say this very slowly. L G B T two S Q Q I a a P K plus is the last one I knew.

Quinn:

Okay. Right there. I lost you at L just kidding. but, cause I believe this is me. I don't wanna alienate my ass. My my ass, I don't wanna alienate my agnostic and atheist brothers and sisters or nonbinary friends. So I, but I believe we're spiritual beings having a human experience there, people that's triggering or alarming or offsetting. So let's just agree. We're all earthlings. We can agree that we're all earthlings that doesn't alienate anybody unless someone doesn't think they're in earthling. I really believe that. It's part of the, that's another thing that it's a little bit part of the pendulum swing that keeps growing and growing one day, it's gonna blow up. We can't have more than 27 letter. We can't just, we can't, we can, but it's really tricky. Yeah. So someday that will just implode and we'll realize, wow, we're all earthlings. We're all humans. That's my ideal goal. Yes. Yeah. Same. I feel that way too. Wow. Tricky times tender times, but real times. And I know, I really believe, I believe in incarnation and I believe that we're here for this. We're still here. We are here for this, and this is a pivotal time on the planet where people are waking up to ha to love and to truth and to, to possibility. And it's scary, but it's, it is actually more exciting than scary. That's today. Talk to me tomorrow. Just kidding. real men giggle.

Eric:

That's. That's great. I love that. Where can our listeners find you? Do you have any like website socials, anything like that?

Quinn:

Yeah, they can check on my website. Quinn fontain.com. That's Q U I N F O NT a I N E do com you can go there. You can watch all three of my solo shows for free. You can order my book. If money's a problem, hit me with a mess. Hit me with a message. I'll mail you a book. I want anybody to be left out. You can watch also check it out free on Kindle, I believe on Amazon. Okay. Yeah. And then and I'm all about paying and playing it forward. So that's why I have my shows are not monetized. I believe that I want everyone to have access to healing and my shows are all. All about that. I've done three different shows. The first one's called learning to stay. The second one was called Kathleen. Fontain the man, the mystery, and it's all about my journey. And I'm glad I did them because I don't need to tell those stories anymore. I'm not even in those bodies anymore. I'm not in that, any of it anymore. So check that out. And then I've got a show on clubhouse. It's called Dr. Win and Quinn are all in that's Wednesdays at 9:00 AM mountains. One hour, we talk about everything. We laugh like nobody's business and come be with us. That's on clubhouse and more is in the works and check my website for upcoming stuff.

Eric:

Awesome. And we'll make sure that we put that into the show notes as well. I link so well, thank you so much Quinn for joining us this hour. It was so good to connect with you and to talk to you more than just email. I'm glad we were able to make this happen and thank you for hanging tight with us. Cause I know this was supposed to happen, I think earlier, but we took a hiatus due to. My worries situation. So I'm so glad.

Quinn:

Oh, you're both just absolutely lovely humans. Thank you so much. It's super wonderful to spend some time with you and I love what you're doing in the world. Keep doing. And I hope to meet you in person sometimes soon. Yes.

Eric:

I'm only 60. I'm only what? 60 minutes away. yeah,

Gil:

it's a little bit I'm a flight away, but I can get there. where are you?

Quinn:

Gill?

Gil:

I'm in the bay area. Okay. Okay. Yeah, but I visit all the time. My husband's from New Mexico. I graduate from UNM, so I have roots. I, I

Quinn:

make my return trips. I lived in San Francisco for five years and loved it. Loved it. Yeah.

Gil:

Well guys, thanks. I'm enjoying. Cause the sun finally came out and it was foggy this morning and I was just like, oh, let we just take that nap. But now I'm like, okay, sun's out. It's warm 60 degrees. Of course.

Quinn:

That's perfect.

Eric:

Of course. Thank you so much. Thank you to all of our listeners. We will be back next week. Thank you for everyone. Remember to live in your authenticity

Gil:

thank you for listening to us. We hope you enjoyed your time in The Q Lounge. If you have any questions, comments, suggestions on topics, or if you would like to be a guest or contributor, please email us info.TheQlounge@gmail.Com or through our contact page at theqloungepodcast.com. Don't forget to subscribe to continue listening wherever you get your podcasts. If you want to be our sugar, daddy hit that donation button.

Eric:

Until next time live in your authenticity.