Aug. 24, 2022

Season 4, Episode 7

Season 4, Episode 7

Eric and Gil answer questions and discuss hot topics.

Transcript
Eric:

Hello and welcome to the Q lounge, I'm Eric

Gil:

and I'm Gil.

Eric:

join us as we discuss news stories and life situations, as they relate to the LGBTQIA plus experience, please visit us at theQloungepodcast.com and hit that subscribe button or listen wherever you get your podcasts. If you would like to follow us on social media, you can hit us up on Facebook @theQloungepodcast or on Instagram or Twitter @theQlounge. Hello and welcome to the Q lounge. I am Eric

Gil:

and I'm Gil.

Eric:

And thank you so much for joining us at another tea or sorry, not another tea time. Another Q lounge session. How are you Gill? I am doing well. I am doing well. How are you doing? I am doing well myself. No, bee stings. Yay. so that either means that people paused when we told them to, or people didn't listen. Cause I don't think that many people listen to that episode anyways, or the bees just were like, oh, he's always bitching about her. So we'll just let it forget it. or who is, who are they? Anyways yeah. Yeah, some new and exciting stuff to talk about. A federal judge has ruled that your boy Lindsay Graham must testify before the, a Georgia grand jury investigating Trump's efforts to overturn the 2020 election. Oh,

Gil:

it's about time. It is about time so

Eric:

yeah, we will see what happens with that. Any opinions on that

Gil:

I'm ex it's just exciting to me just to see how this is gonna unfold. Just if they're actually gonna go through with it or they're gonna continue feeding the lives of January 6th. And people are gonna believe the bullshit that's surrounding it. Yeah. But it's just all ironic because in 2016, these were all the same people up in arms about Hillary. And like I said, were bound 20, 22 and suddenly it's oh my God. No, that's impossible. That can't be us yeah. Fake news. and this is what happens, Republicans like to fall in line, one after the other hand, the next person's ass. And then somebody goes down, the whole ship goes down and then they're shocked. which you, what do you think's gonna happen?

Eric:

I think there's probably gonna be a lot of pleading the fifth Uhhuh or trying to find the loophole so that the questions can be answered either very vaguely or evaded within themselves. I think Graham is gonna try to Gaslight the situation just like Trump does, correct? Yep. Absolutely. Trump's making like millions and millions of dollars off of his supporters after the FBI rated his Margo estate.

Gil:

Oh, poor flake

Eric:

Republicans. Liz was decimated in her primary oh yeah, she was dragged. Yeah, like she lost by what? Like almost two or three times

Gil:

66.3 to 28.9. Wow. Yeah, she got Shelac in Wyoming

Eric:

and here's the thing though, cuz like now she's trying to appeal to Democrats and saying oh, maybe I'll run for president in 2024. And the Democrats will get on board with me and we can stop Trump and blah, blah, blah. I don't think Republicans are gonna necessarily, if that many Republicans have already voted against her, just in her state I there's a lot of Republicans that are unfortunately still a part of that mag group. Correct. So I don't see her getting the Republican nominee just because of that. Correct. So if she's gonna be like, oh I'm gonna just jump parties and become a Democrat. She's not a Democrat. No, she voted with Trump, like 95% of the time. Correct? Like her, her with the January 6th committee is like the one time she stood up against him. Correct.

Gil:

That was the one redeeming

Eric:

And I think she didn't, she vote to impeach him for the January 6th. She she was one of 12. So that was like two times and there's 10, 10 representatives that voted against him who have now lost their primaries or are not coming back. Cuz Adam Kininger is just not running again.

Gil:

Correct. There's several of 'em that chose to just strike, not run. Yeah. Because more than likely they were gonna get steamed. Yes. As Liz Chaney just got through.

Eric:

Yeah. So a few things to keep in mind cuz people are because she's betting are hoping for the fact that Democrats will welcome her in and she can Gaslight them. Right or pull, what is it? The blinders over on them. But just to remember, like she voted against the paycheck, fairness act, she voted against the violence against women reauthorization act of 2021. She voted against the pregnant worker's fairness act. She voted against removing the deadline for the ratification of the equal rights amendment. She also voted against adding a women's history museum act as was part of the Smithsonian. Yeah. So she's not your friend. And I think it's interesting that she is hoping to make it on that. Correct. And no, you are still very much a very conservative Republican, like you are. She's a politic she's a politician, but like she was celebrating the overturn of RVW correct and support. She was. So I don't see, I think she's trying to grasp that straws here and hoping that people are stupid and people can be stupid. They can't, they voted for Trump, but correct. I will say though, he also launched a what's the word I'm looking for? An overthrowing of Lisa Markowski the Senator from Alaska, correct? Cause she didn't, she did vote to convict him for January 6th for his second impeachment. She did vote with the Democrats for that. She did vote against Kavanaugh. Because of the way she did the way he behaved and acted. And she also voted against Barrett because she said it was not fair that they bent the rules after they made such a big deal about the merit Garland situation in Scalia, correct? Yes, they did. So she did go against him a few times. She supposedly also the moderate Republican, she does believe in a woman's right to choose. However, she did not vote to codify it either. Yes So she still is very partisan and still very much it goes with party lines. Yes. So we need to keep that in perspective. Yes. Now I know Sarah Palin won her primary but I hear she's severely trailing her democratic opponent in the polls. Yeah. So hopefully that is true. I still feel,

Gil:

I know everyone's saying that the we're probably gonna end up losing the house, but I just think there's enough positives also within the democratic party where they've closed some gaps and some key raises So for instance, like mark Rubio's going up, it's a dead draw right now. The polls have been showing it as even with him and Val dings for his Senate seat. Yes. And see the thing that as dead, even the

Eric:

thing with Val Demings is she's the Republican's worst nightmare because not only is she a woman of color, but she was in law

Gil:

enforcement. Yeah. So what are they gonna say? Yeah.

Eric:

And then we all know the blue, except her. We actually know that they do not back the blue, because look at what they're doing to the FBI. Correct. And look at what they did to the capital police.

Gil:

it's only back to blue when it's against a minority. yeah, we know that's true. I know the Georgia race, the governor races tight also drums in fairly tight race in Texas. Yes, Texas. Also. I hope that gap beats Abbott. Yeah. Cause that's what I forgot exactly what the polling numbers are right now, but it's within the margin of error. So we know at least there is a good chance, but like I said, just depends on how people actually get out to the polls.

Eric:

And, but that's where it, I said results. So you have, yeah. But that's where you have these Republicans that are suppressing the vote and passing all these laws. So that people can't get out and vote. Yeah. And again, you mentioned about us probably losing the house. That's all gerrymandered. Oh yeah. A lot of Republicans in the state houses and it's crazy. Yeah.

Gil:

That's very sad. We'll see there still hope people just need to vote. Let's see what

Eric:

happens there is hope. We'll see what, yeah, that's all we can say. So the CDC has admitted that they made some public mistakes when it came to COVID and other public health crises. COVID monkeypox, which we'll get to in a second. And other viruses. Dr. Wolinsky has stated that they are now going to reset. They're gonna take a reset. For the CDC because they made some mistakes in their handling of public health situations. I find that interesting. I couldn't get any more details about it. I'm a little, I shouldn't say I'm a little concerned. I'm actually rather heavily concerned with how White's being taken and treated now when you still have a lot of deaths and a lot of new cases. So I think, I don't know. It's just not a good look

Gil:

and what's going on with monkeypox

Eric:

Monkey Mon monkeypox sorry. Monkeypox is accelerating so fast that. Only approved vaccine maker admits that they do not think they can keep up with the demand. The flare up of the virus was declared a public health emergency of international concern by the head of who the world health organization who Nord Nordic AEs, the only company with an approved vaccine for monkeypox that it's no longer certain it can meet demands. As cases continue to rise across the world. The Danish company is now exploring the possibility of outsourcing some of the production, including technology transfer to a us contract manufacturer to meet the accelerating demands. They're also now showing that and we keep saying, it's not an STI and it's not an STI, but. They're saying that it's more than just, it's not necessarily skin to skin contact there. It shows seems to be a higher occurrence than those who've actually are having sex. Okay. But it's still, it's not an STI. You can still get it other ways. In fact it has become slightly, it has become slightly zoonotic and the fact that we have a dog that just came down with monkeypox oh, a dog has been infected with monkeypox after catching the virus from its owners. According to who it's the first case of its kind, the health leaders say isolating from pets when infected is important to who also warned of the need to get rid of rubbish carefully to reduce the risk of infecting other animals. There is no evidence that dogs can transmit the disease to other dogs or humans. But it's just interesting to know. It's a Greyhound that contracted monkeypox from its owners. So it has species. It is there's some zoonotic happening right there.

Gil:

That's crazy. Yeah.

Eric:

So monkeypox is around people it's around for a minute. It's scary as hell.

Gil:

What at a time to be alive.

Eric:

it's we just got, we did, we're not even out of the COVID pandemic, regardless of what people say. We're not. Yeah. So we're like one pandemic into the next pandemic. and I'm just talking infectious disease pandemics. I'm not talking about the pandemic of hate and racism or anything else. No.

Gil:

Not at all it God damnit I don't know what our generation did in like the prior life or something, but man. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It's one thing after

Eric:

another, did you hear about the generation alpha generation? This baby in Turkey got bit by a snake and bit the snake back and just like literally killed the snake. What? Yeah, I was reading about it earlier today was like generation Z and the alpha generation. You are not, do not fuck with them. God will decimate you. Like they will eviscerate you. They will disempower, quite literally. Like

Gil:

literally God, these kids woke up were bored and said I'm choosing violence. Yes. Oh, wow. Okay. Sometimes that's think so.

Eric:

I'm scared of snakes too, to a point. I'm not one of those people who can watch I'm one of those people I can watch snakes on TV. I'm not one of those people. Who's oh my God, there's a snake on my TV. I gotta run into the other room. Cuz it freaks them out. I grew up with snakes, like my mom's best friend had a snake that I played with all the time. So snakes don't bother me now don't get me wrong. I don't wanna be sitting next to a venomous snake. All Hey, what's up? Yeah, you'll see me like freeze and hope it does not attack me, but I'm not too afraid of snakes. Now I'm afraid of cent heats. And I will run screaming and crying from in another direction, whether it is a two inch centipede yeah. Four foot centipede, whether it's dead or alive, I am running the opposite direction, crying and screaming. probably yelling and screaming cause I don't or yelling and crying. Cause I don't think I can really scream. Cause I don't know that my voice has that high of a register anymore, but you got my I'm sure it'll

Gil:

it'll find itself.

Eric:

That'll some good news a win for the trans community. A federal appeals court says that Americans with says the American with disabilities act covers gender dysphoria. Okay. So a federal appeals court said Tuesday that the Americans with disabilities act covers individuals with gender dysphoria, handing a, when to the trans community, in a case concerning a former inmate who alleged discrimination at a Virginia prison, gender dysphoria describes an uncomfortable conflict between a person's assigned gender and the gender with which the person identifies according to the American psychiatric association, in a majority opinion issued by a three-judge panel with the us court of appeals for the fourth circuit, the court wrote in light of the base basic promise of equality that animates the ADA. We see no leg. We see no legitimate reason why Congress would intend to exclude from the ADA's protection transgender people who suffer from gender dysphoria. That's good. That's very good. We need to do more for the trans community. Cause they are very highly neglected and overlooked. And now some words from our sponsors, just kidding.

Gil:

so I had to Google, cause I was curious as to where exactly the the fourth circuit is. Okay. So you're talking South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, west, Virginia, Maryland and DC. Okay. So that's the area that it is. So just so we have an, I was just curious I'm like, where is the fourth circuit? That that makes sense then. So that's in that's impress. Yeah,

Eric:

DC is very liberal actually, despite the fact it does. Correct, but you have

Gil:

the Carolinas,

Eric:

which are not. Yeah. And Virginia's really not. Yeah.

Gil:

It's a very hit or miss. Yeah. So

Eric:

I have some questions for you, Gill. Ooh. Do you have any odd quirks?

Gil:

I, I don't think I do necessarily. I'm trying to think of, I wanna say no. Okay. But then again, to me, everything looks fine. So I'll probably ask Chris if I have any odd ones. OK. That's fine. Like I said, in my mind, I'm practically perfect. So I'm always like, oh, everything's okay. What I do. Yeah. How do you hope to be remembered?

Eric:

How do I hope to really remembered? Honestly, I wanna be remembered as someone who helped to promote other people and helped people find their voice and help people to grow within themselves and find their own self love and self acceptance, and provide a platform for people to get their messages out and get their voices heard. And for as someone who promotes equality and love and acceptance of across the board, That's honestly how I hope to be remembered. Also someone who's good in bed, but that's a given Yes,

Gil:

y'all check Jack

Eric:

But all kidding aside. No, what I was saying before, and that was part of this podcast too, which we've talked about is providing a platform, not only for ourselves, but for others. And yeah, I think that's how I would want to be remembered as someone who provided a platform. So people who felt like they didn't have a voice, could get their voices heard, but also to link them or connect them with people who feel like their not seen or they're misunderstood or that they're all alone. And to provide that bridge or help you build that bridge. So you can build a stronger community and a stronger society and open the minds of people. So yeah. How about you? That's a good question.

Gil:

Yeah. I would like to be remembered as someone who cared like they like for, I don't know, it's more like just, I don't care for a lot of people, if that I'm very selective on who I spend my time with who I actually give it, but I just wanna hope that people that nearby are like, okay, I could, at least if they needed me for something, for the most part okay, Gil will be there. Gil could support us in some way. Or, like they just know that I will be there as best that I can. And it was like, at least I hope I'm remembered in that regard. Cause I know I, my first impressions of people meet me. They're like, oh my God, what a flaming pitch or Cause I haveing pitch right. Half the time. And I know that and the mask doesn't help cuz I'm like staring people down. What is it? I'm already annoyed. But I, I hope they, I'm remembered as someone who's loyal to their cause as long as it is, hopefully. And like that, I give that I was somebody I, sought out for advice cause I know a lot of people for whatever reason, even though I, like I said, I come off a certain way to people, but they like to confide in me historically and always come for me for like advice for about stuff. And I hope that I've given enough sound advice that I have inherited from like you from other, people I've been in my life and given it back to the community in my way. So I'm hoping that, you that gay mother Gill is always what I was always told cause I was that person old soul, but like I said, I just hope that my advice has spread to other people and it. Did people well, and just try to pass on the knowledge that I was given. Thankfully, people I've met enough good people in my life, or, I was born into some pretty good families that have provided me with some kind of like easy routes. I didn't have to go through a lot of, I don't know, like troubles. Okay. Necessarily. I made my own potholes pretty much for the most part, everything was paved. So it's I hope I gave my information. I learned how to avoid some of those potholes to other people and they're able to run with it. So I don't know. Nice. That's what I'm hoping. They're like I went to Gill for that knowledge or yeah. Oh, nice. You steer me correctly. Nice. Yeah. That's a good one, but it's interesting. I'm always curious, especially when I get to the end of my rope Uhhuh, or I feel like the end is near. I wanna see kinda like a recap. I'm like, I hope I did well. I'm sure. Probably still roasted hell, but it's okay. Little toast. I bring sunblock. Oh my God. What is your skincare routine? Cause you still look like you're 24.

Eric:

you're super nice. Thank you. My skincare routine as of lately. I am using a goat milk facewash okay. And then I do some eye cream and then I do some hyaluronic hyaluronic acid serum with vitamin with different vitamins in it. And then I'd use an apple stems peptide. And then at night I use vitamin E pure vitamin E oil cuz a I'm trying to get rid of this. Diminish the scar from the surgery I just had, but I also put it on my face. And then about twice a week, I use a exfoliant for my face, which has Pearl and hummus in it. Okay. And it's, I really like it, it makes my skin all nice and smooth and then I follow it often. I follow it up again with the eye cream and the serums and stuff like that, that I already named. And then I've also been using this lotion. It's an olive based lotion. Okay. And that works really good. That's just for my skin in general. And then I've also at one point was using this really awesome body butter, but it's really hard to find now. So I moved to the olive lotion in lieu of, and it works great as well. And then one thing that I used to be super, super horrible about. But I've gotten way better now because I'm bald and now I have a scar on my neck. Sunscreen.

Gil:

Yeah. Sunscreen is important.

Eric:

So I do wear sunscreen a lot more regularly. Now I make an effort to put sunscreen on and I drink, hello water.

Gil:

Yes.

Eric:

I'm talking out probably almost a gallon a day.

Gil:

That's actually my new routine. Now I have to drink a gallon a day and that's what I'm challenging that to flush everything out. Yeah. Okay. Be more healthy. No, but skincare is a huge thing, especially, it's funny because when I worked in that world the skincare routines, especially from west of the Rio grand, all the way to San Francisco. As a cultural thing, we tend to use more, we're all about skincare, our products and stuff like that. Versus when you go east, it's all about heavy foundation makeup and things that are clocking up your pores. And that's why they all look 70 when they're only 29. Let's be real. I've got out there. I'm like, oh my God. I thought these Queens were much, much more matured. And when it got to the Midwest, come on now who we know how they look but out here we look like we haven't left. Like you look like you're 24. So it's wow, what are you doing? No, cuz I use like for me it's like a daily daily LA Mo thing from Dior that I love. And it's, I do that. I more of a these were when I worked there.

Eric:

look at you all bougie,

Gil:

but cause I use like that. I use a serum. My skin is very oily, so I must scrub it down. And then I obviously do my eyes underneath the eyes because we can't forget that. Try to tighten that up a little bit more. And then I always put my lotion I do like a non-sensitive for my sensitive skin kind of thing also. Cause I don't wanna break out so I normally do those three things daily morning of the night.

Eric:

I also do you ever use those face masks? I've used them a few times. I try to do it at least once a month. I would ideally like to do it like once a week, but I don't always have 'em on hand.

Gil:

I have to be careful with it just because my face will react very quickly. I don't know if it's the ingredients in some of them, but I've like suddenly face got really.

Eric:

I there's one that I think you should try, I'll send you the, no,

Gil:

I'm totally down for it. Anything for skin? I'm like, sure. Let's try. Like with my hands, I've gotten better with applying cream or like I use lush now for my hair and I try to readjust the way that I do it before. not, it's just, I'm just being a lot more cognizant about it and obviously I love my fragrances, so I have my my season. I'm like, what am I in the mood for? Oh, nice. Just because, yeah. Do you have a favorite fragrance?

Eric:

I, this is gonna be a shock to you. I don't really, you're talking like colognes, right? Or you just, I don't have a favorite fragrance right now. I actually do not have a heavy cologne collection anymore. I used to have an, I used to have an extreme cologne collection and I don't anymore. And the fragrances, I probably did love are probably not even on trend anymore. So I don't think I'm going to answer that any further, cuz I don't want be out.

Gil:

It will not be judged. yeah.

Eric:

How about you? Oh

Gil:

my God. Like for me, like an old time favor for me and I know I get you. I think it's, everyone's all about their design or fragrances, but Burberry London, it's an older one. It smells like to me it's most like fucking autumn in a bottle. I love autumn. Okay. So I like that cinnamon, very, Musk kind of thing. And that's what it is and just reminds me of, it actually reminds me of a very specific memory of when I saw your first performance at Weiss full in oh seven, February of 2007. And the reason I saw specifics, because that's, when about when I bought the bottle, somebody else was wearing it near me in the audience when I was sitting. And it just, it was so aromatic. It's just so I don't know why just like happiness for me, but that's when I like immediately, every time I wear it, I'm like, oh, that's what it is. Oh, nice. But like right now, my like, like a favorite one that I'm currently wearing let's see, Jesus Christ. I'm like looking at my collection. I'm like, which 1:00 AM I? I gravitate towards a Cartier Pasha. It's okay. Yeah, Pasha. It's a pretty good one. It's little bit off beat a Chanel blue, my atypical thing. Like it, I guess other people like that one. But I've worked in, like I said, when I was working in fragrances, got a lot of these for free, so I have a lot of bottles from just oh, nice. Yeah, but I, it, I always suggest to people who are not sure what to buy. I always say just, it depends on the region that you're at. So like humid places, you wanna go something light versus like me being in the bay area. It's especially in the city, it's very foggy, cold, damp half the year. You wanna do something spicy, something heavy and it will last longer on your skin. So make sure you bring your skin and not your clothes. Okay. Destroy the alcohol and destroy your clothes over time. Now

Eric:

I will say this when it comes to fragrances. I was always a fan of Chanel's allure. Oh, that's a good one. So maybe, I guess that I could answer with that one. Okay. But I, and I don't know if you remember this about me. This is a quirk of mine. I match my fragrances to the colors of clothes I'm wearing. So certain colors match certain fragrances to me. Okay. So if I'm gonna wear something, that's got like a APIC earthier type of scent. I'm probably gonna wear like beiges and Browns. Okay. If I'm going to wear something that's brightly colored, which is very rare for me, but probably a little bit more. So now I'm probably gonna wear something with that's more slightly floral or fruity. I will probably wear Emporio by Armani, if I'm wearing something that's like black and sleek. There's that about me? Which is, it is a quirk about me because I can't, I don't know what fragrance I'm gonna wear until I know exactly what color scheme I'm wearing. Okay.

Gil:

So that makes sense. Yeah. It's more like on my mood way. I'm feeling that day, like which Yeah, it's a very mood and that's why like I have right now, I think I have 11 bottles out that are more like on the lighter. I'm trying to, I'm trying to be a little bit more like summary spring. Okay. Cause that's not my normal. I don't like floral or very light ed stuff, but I'm trying it just to be, just to challenge myself. So I'm write down like rotating and I'm like, okay what am I feeling? Am I feeling a little, this or that? And I know each bottle has a different scent and I've, pretty smell. Yeah. Okay. So I'm like rotating. But it's cuz I am a, I don't, I'm a cancer, I'm a moody bitch. So my moods are gonna be changing all the time and I'm like, okay, so what am I doing today? What is this? I'm gonna work. Ugh. What is this gonna be? So that's the way I kind of base it.

Eric:

I would say for like me to going back to like color scheme is very like actually a, probably an important thread that runs through my life anyways. Yeah. Because even as a dancer, when I was like coming up with choreographies and staging, when I would hear a song or I was choreographing to a song, I wouldn't think dance moves initially. I would think. What colors do I see? What is my landscape? And I would see color a color scheme first. Okay. And then Hey, how do I incorporate this coloring into my costume? What type of costume am I seeing with these colors that will enhance this song? And then from there, what moves will show case this costume better and still looks super cool when I'm doing them. So the moves were actually pro one of the last things that I would think about. Yeah. I Cause I was just confident enough that I could probably do them so I could just break them out when they, when needed. Okay. But it was all about the color, the costume scheme. And then. Staging the color scheme, costuming and the staging. And then I would think about the dance moves and how we were gonna accomplish any and all of that. So color scheme and coordination seems to run pretty highly throughout my life. It's even like when I had my piercings, which I missed them. If I was gonna be wearing like again, earthy or colors, I would probably wear like gold jewelry versus like silver jewelry. If I was going to a golf club or something else or yeah. So everything is always trying to match with me. Yeah. Doesn't always happen. And now that I'm like older and I don't go out that much and I'm not very social and I've embraced my total introvert and not worried about, oh, people might think I'm this or that. I don't put forth the effort that I should. I'm being a bad gay and. Just acting like a straight dude at home and his sweats and t-shirts

Gil:

we had the pandemic, you were in school for a minute. There were some, there were some side balls that were happening there. True. But true. Yeah. That's the only reason cuz I know you before, whereas oh, full thing, choreographed, head to toe, the

Eric:

hatch stuff shoe. Yeah. Now that is true. Like when I do dress up, I still I have shoes that match my Browns shoes that match my blacks, my whites. I still have that part of me is still there. I just, it's not showcased as much as it used to be. Yeah. Also sweat come off sweats, come off very easily. So when you're hooking up, all you have to do is pull the string, let the sweats drop, have a jock strap on and you're easy access. So that's another reason why we're gonna have just wearing sweats.

Gil:

Oh, my God but these are true facts.

Eric:

or bicycle or, I mean our basketball shorts.

Gil:

Yeah. They're all gravity works extra. There

Eric:

it does. It really does.

Gil:

Yeah. It's funny because for me if I'm going on a drive let's say we're going to road trip to Tahoe road trip or whatever. My mind automatically has to make playlist, as you probably know, since I've known you I always make 20 different playlists for my different moods. Are we doing kitchen party? Are we doing a little? Oh, really cool. Really

Eric:

quickly though. I thought you said, I thought you were gonna say your mind goes to road head oh, but go back to your playlist. Sorry. No,

Gil:

that's what I do. I have to choreograph the whole playlist all around that setting or whatever we're doing, or, it's like, what mood am I gonna set for it? And I'm playing that as we're doing dinner or whatever the hell it. Oh, nice. That's what I do. Yeah.

Eric:

So how do you flirt or what is your game? I know you're married now, so you probably don't practice this ever. But think back to when you were a, we gave

Gil:

the year was 1820 everyone

Eric:

before I was actually out and accepted myself.

Gil:

Oh, yes. I I don't know. I don't think I had the best game at the time. I think it's because of my, I attracted people who saw me as a challenge because I was not gonna give that immediate satisfaction that I'm impressed. So I'll look a person. Purposely hold their gaze and then look away for the rest of the time, just so they know they I saw you, you see me? then I'm gonna wait for you to do anything if you're going to, if you have the balls to come over and that's the way I flirted, I didn't really do a lot of me over there flipping the hair or, try to watch. And I made them want to want me. And that's just because of my own confidence where I'm like, okay, if you want me come over here, if not, you're like, make me want to take off my headphones kind of thing, which there have been a few guys who have done that, but I'm like, okay, Hey the standard, when I was, then it was like, pretty much you just had to be roll. It wasn't so much the attractiveness, but they had to have good conversation. something, even when I was younger, like if the person was stupid, oh, I couldn't do it. I could not, it might be a hidden and quit cut in the moment. I'm not gonna lie. We all have needs. But at the same time I wasn't gonna stay with you if you're like, oh, I wanna be boyfriends. Oh no, you say, I love you the first date, which I've had a guy. Oh my God, I love you. I'm like, oh, we done. We're done. That's just the way I am. Cause I'm a little, I work a little slow as Chris will tell you. Probably Yeah, but I don't think I really had the best game or if somebody was flirting, I probably miss someone with science. Also. I blamed that I was wearing my glasses. Let's just say that. Oh, would you?

Eric:

I have no game at all. Like I am a horrible flirt. Yeah, I don't I don't like I have none at all. I am super socially awkward. I Uhhuh, yeah. I don't think I even know how to flirt. Like my version of flirting is dropping on my knees and unhinging my jaw. Cause yeah, I am not good at flirting at all. I have no idea if someone is flirting with me, cause see it comes to this too. Like I have, for most of my life, I've had very low self-esteem and a lot of like self hatred and self-loathing because internalized homophobia and past traumas yeah. Have shaped me and conditioned me. So to me, no one was no one could ever be interested in me because why would they be? So if someone was possibly flirting with me, I thought they were just actually being nice or okay. They were like showing pity. Towards me. So like a charity kind of thing. So I have never known of anyone to actually be flirting with me with the exception of may, if it's super obvious, like if someone grabs me and like starts kissing me, they'll be like, oh, they're flirting with me. Or that I think we talked about it in one of our first tee times while I was dancing on a box and all sweaty and someone jumped on the box and grabbed my face and licked my sweat off of me. And I was like, oh, that was super hot. I think they were flirting with me. But other than that, I have no idea if anyone's flirting with me, I don't know how to flirt, cuz I think I'm self-conscious about everything. And so socially awkward that when I do, yes, when I do attempt to flirt, it's just like a big old train wreck and people are like, oh, Ooh, like what's going on over there. And again, that could just be my own self-perception I don't know Uhhuh, but either way, there's no confidence there to be flirting with anybody. So I don't flirt. I don't, I probably do flirt, but I'm not good at it. Do you

Gil:

feel because this is something I'm just curious about because when I started or when Chris and I started dating grinder just started, so this is 2009. Like it's been out for a decade and some years now, Uhhuh Does, do you think with the app, the apps it makes it harder for people want to physically flirt with you in person. And they save it just for the app and then's no personality when you meet them in I was just curious if that's still the case or it's more it's still just hard now as it was then to meet people in person, I

Eric:

guess it's, in some ways it might be harder now because you rely so heavily on apps. Okay. So that way, like you don't have to go out there and be seen, you can of just oh, I would never talk to that person. Or, Ooh, I wanna talk to that person. And then they don't respond whatever. Or, Ooh, we have like nice banter going back and forth and. But I think a lot of people like to hide behind the app cuz it's even when you're on Twitter or Facebook, the keyboard borders or yeah. Type the type

Gil:

thugs. Oh, they piss me

Eric:

off. But yeah. It's the same thing. Ooh, we're gonna flirt. We're gonna get there. We're gonna talk all kinds of stuff. Let's send, picks back and forth. Oh yeah. Yeah. And then all of a sudden it just drops off or, and you're ghosted or, oh, we should meet up. Oh, and then you're ghosted or they hit you like random. This actually happened to me yesterday. On Tinder where some guy that I have been talking to a week or two ago, like just hit me up out of the balloons. Hey, what's up? And I'm like, not much what's up. We should hook up on when right now I'm horny. I'm like, okay, I'm running errands right now. And I have stuff to do. I'm not just gonna drop my day. Yeah. Because I'm that bored, lonely and horny. Correct. That's my every day. That's every moment of every day of my life, so I still have shit to do. Yeah. So I think it makes it easier for people to like, to fake an interest. Yeah. But I think it also makes it harder to actually meet people and it makes it very difficult. And I will say this, it makes it very difficult to actually form some sort of connection or relationship whether platonic or intimate or romantic or sexual, then it used to also, I will say about apps really fuck with your self esteem. Okay. I have a habit of getting off of apps for a while and then I'll get back on them because I get really bored. Hence what I just said. I'm bored lonely in morning all the time. I'll check back. I'll be like, okay, sometimes its overpowering and overwhelming. So I'm like, okay, let me just get on the apps and see if I can get some attention. You don't. Some people do. I'm not that pretty. So people who are gorgeous tend to get 10,066 messages. Me I'm just me. So I will go I don't get a lot of messages. And so that fucks with your self esteem and your self perception. So I am try I'm right now in a phase where I'm trying to not be on apps anymore, cuz I think they're okay. They fuck with me. Psychologically Yes. And I've worked a really hard in the last few years to overcome a lot of my own self detriment and my own self-loathing and hatred and perception of myself. And I've actually gotten to a point where I actually like myself, which I know we've talked about this on other podcasts. Yeah. And not trying to rehash it for the listeners, but I'm now at a point where I actually do like myself. So I'm not gonna put up with a bunch of bullshit anymore. Yeah. There's still certain people who can wear me down and make me super vulnerable and make me be stupid and go against better judgment. But I'm getting better at that. And yeah.

Gil:

I was just curious with that, cuz to me it just it's. So it could be very toxic from almost everyone that I've asked that kind of question to it is very toxic, very, and I'm like already guys, it is in person. Let it alone. You have that app it or apps in general. And I just feel like there's a lot of missed opportunity and something like when the last time I went to the club, which was right before the pandemic happened, like for me, it was just so peculiar because I'm like dancing, we're dancing our hearts out but I keep noticing to the sides. I see all these young, beautiful guys are just standing there looking at their fucking phones. And just like where's Waldo for the next guy. And to me, I just find it. Disheartening. So because like you have all these other people right next to you, people it's SAR, kissing, get your drum card, have some fun they're right there. But you're looking on these apps with this special person that doesn't exist.

Eric:

So here's where the apps are actually good. Okay. And this is like where social media is also good that you have someone like me, who's like super shy and just very socially awkward Uhhuh. So it makes it easier to talk to somebody. Oh. Cause you're not right there face to face. So it does make it easier to talk to somebody and try to connect with somebody again, like I said earlier, the connection's usually not there occasionally you will though, but okay. It's often not there most of the time, but it does make it easier to actually R. I don't wanna say reach out, but maybe make that first effort or that first move to be like, Hey, how are you? Rather than having to go talk to somebody, because then you are getting like, you may get an eye roll or a sigh or a turn your back to you. Yeah. So then that's very defeating. Okay. And that's happened to me enough times that I stupidly don't even set myself up for that anymore. So I keep myself from experiencing a lot of stuff because I'm now insecure about that stuff, but I'm working on it. Yeah. So I think that's the kind of a good part of apps is it gives you like that little nudge to like, make a move or to like, say hi or to engage in a conversation. Quote unquote. Yeah. As shallow as it may be. It's like a puddle in depth, usually. But I've had some really good conversations. I've actually made friends off of apps too. And I've had a couple supposed boyfriends that lasted all three or four months, but whatever. And then you've gone out with me. It's been a while, but like I can be on the dance floor dancing, but no one comes up to me to dance with me. Yeah, I'm left completely alone to do whatever I'm doing on the dance floor

Gil:

and signature moves

Eric:

yeah, for me, it's always been hard to meet people regardless because I'm quiet, shy, socially awkward. And then you add in. All the self perception stuff that I have. And then the fact that I'm socially awkward and shy and don't talk to people. So people don't engage with me only further support that perception that I already have. Yeah. So then I'm just in this cyclical motion of, oh, no one likes me. No one likes me. I'm gonna keep to myself and I'm just gonna try to have fun. No, one's talking to me. So I'm just gonna sit here and keep to myself and have fun. And I'm just gonna sit here and keep to myself and have fun because nobody likes me. So at least with the apps, you can be like, you can have a little, you can spark a little conversation, correct. That's not gonna go anywhere, but for me, nothing goes anywhere anyways. So I know I gave you a super long, like answer. No.

Gil:

But, I always, I'm curious, like I said, I'm not part of it. I've been asked before I was in Seattle. I think I was at work and then this guy came up to me. He was like, I don't see that you're on this, on the app. What are you into? What are you? I'm like, honey, I'm at work. I'm already take what the hell are you asking me here? I'm confused. that's

Eric:

sick sicker. Now people hitting on you at work, but

Gil:

they hid, but this is of course, 20 years ago at this point. But no,

Eric:

I, I did get some

Gil:

good. I don't know it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that kind of, like I said I wouldn't know what to do even in this modern time, because even back then, like I'm scared to meet people online. That's something for me. I don't like to talk to people online. It nerves. See that it freaks me out.

Eric:

I can see that I'm.

Gil:

And you don't know if they're fake or that's why when they're like the only way to meet people is yeah. Oh

Eric:

yeah. You don't know if they're a fake or they're gonna kill you or hurt you. Now. I will say when I went to visit you in Seattle Uhhuh, I met a couple people on those apps and had quite a great time.

Gil:

I don't, I remember the stories were good, I don't know. They help. Yeah. That's where my anxiety

Eric:

kicks it. they help to point your thirst when you're dehydrated that or they can help with help point your thirst with when you're dehydrated.

Gil:

Absolutely.

Eric:

if you have game or you're gorgeous, you can pretty much have all you can drink.

Gil:

It's like on TikTok, for instance, you have the same atypical 21 year old white male barely does four little moves shirt list. And it's oh my God, 90,000 followers. For doing what? Hunting police. We've seen this story before. Absolutely.

Eric:

Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm guilty of it too though. Cuz you have these guys, these young guys that have like really huge packages and they literally just do two hip thrusts and I'm like, oh my God, that's sexy. So I'm guilty of it too.

Gil:

did you have an it's not good looking

Eric:

yeah. Did you have any younger tells? What does that mean? Did you have, when you were younger, did you have anything that, I mean you could tell, people could tell you were gay, even though you didn't know you were gay, like things that you did that gave you away.

Gil:

Oh, there's probably so many. It could probably been of me dressing up as Annie Lennox. It was, my mannerisms were a giveaway. So though something like my dad was very concerned about on numerous occasions trying to, go. Make sure. Put your hand over here. Don't put your hand on your waist like that stop, making your wrist limp, stuff like that. I was being told all the time. Definitely, like I said, mannerisms some of the way I would speak the speech because it was I was around a lot of women, also my life, I grew up on my aunties and so I, I probably borrowed a lot of their slangs and stuff like that. I wasn't this macho kid. I cried a lot so automatically that probably people were like, oh little, a little pussy. I was just emotional. I versus now oh, like answer the boots are swinging with it. and I'm on a cusp that just adds

Eric:

more fuel it's I would venture to say you probably still are very emotional, but you just mask it now due to conditioning.

Gil:

Correct. And that's what it is really. That's what it is. I, the emotions are still there and they probably don't come out in the best way, which I'm openly stating now. They're very, yeah I'm trying to learn how to handle my emotions a lot better and smoother and don't bottle it up and that's been hurting my health and why I'm getting that in check as well. But yeah I think those are definitely, some of those tells that from then. Also probably the interest in no girls. I had a lot of, I was near girls, but not oh, I think they're sexy. It's more oh my God, I love, I wanna be her hair. I wanna that kind of stuff. I try to think what else would've given away music choice a hundred percent okay. Because I was like, 1999, I'm like, oh my God, I wanna share album. They're like, are you sure you don't want something else? No, I want Cher's Believe album or my ABBA or my, like I said, Eurhythmics or picking up a culture club for God's sake. Everyone's and I'm like, I wanna be just like, Elton John. I like this outfit. So they're like really? There's no other guy who you prefer to look like a Joe Monte. No, no Elton John I love his glasses. Nice. Lord sides were there. Yeah. Oh, which you.

Eric:

Looking back, so this, so we've talked about this to nauseam as well. That like I didn't come out till later. I didn't even realize it till I was 22. I think we talked about that, like in our very first episode, that's about

Gil:

when I met you. Yeah.

Eric:

And no, you met me when I was older, but thank you. But looking back there was definitely tells like so many tells and I don't know how I didn't even notice. Like I would always have to, like, when people were taking pictures and taking pictures of me, I always had to put on this big production of posing and okay, now take a picture of me at this angle. Now take a picture of me at this angle. Now take a picture of me doing this. Now take a picture of me doing this. So I was always posing and being dramatic with my posing. Always sensitive. I'm still sensitive. So I honestly, though I. Don't complete. I cry more now than I did for a long time. Because I'm just trying to open those walls up and allow myself to be a little bit more vulnerable, but for a long period of time, like when you and I lived in the same area and we hung out a lot. Oh yeah. I didn't really cry cuz I didn't just wanna show emotion. Yeah. Like you I like, I was a dancer, so I guess that could be a tell if you wanna go into stereotypes also. And I just thought about this probably like a couple months ago and I was like, oh my God, I totally used to do this. This was totally a tell like, so lately I've been wearing crop tops. Yes. And I don't wear them often, but I've been wearing them. I'm trying to be more comfortable in my own skin and yeah. And so that's part of my regimen of embracing and accepting myself. When I was little, I used to pull my shirts up and tie them in knots. Oh, or, oh, yes. Or I would pull the bottom through the neck line and make like a bikini type top or whatever And I used to walk around like that through the house or sleep like that. Or I would pretend like I was performing for people and I would have these different costumes and I like the knot would be tied over here or the not would be tied over here. It would be tied in the back or tied in tucked under. So like I used to do that a lot. So that was probably a tell I would think I think those were probably my biggest tells Uhhuh.

Gil:

I, I used to like wrapping my hair up with the towel.

Eric:

I used to all the used to do that. I used to do that too when I had hair. Yeah. And then like I loved horses. I still like horses too, but like I used to play with H like play with toy horses. And I loved my little ponies because they were horses, so they were horses, but they're also just like pretty and colorful and they had hair that I could brush and comb. I love, I've always loved to brush and comb hair so those were probably, I would say those were tells for sure. Yeah. And this is interesting. So once I learned, and this is a later tell, like teenage to early adulthood, tell once I like discovered sexuality or and being sexual as a person. And I got, so here's a weird thing. I don't have a lot of confidence and I'm all this other stuff, blah, blah, blah. But I'm very confident in my sexual presence, if that makes sense. Okay. So even then, once I learned, like I knew how to move and I knew how to elicit some sort of like provocative sexual response from others, whether good or bad, just in the way I moved and carried myself and stuff like that. So I was always like, so I probably had that tell too, cuz I was always like, Ooh, I can touch myself here and I could pose here and I could do this and do that. And my eyes can do this and do that. And I can move this way in that way. And I was confident in that aspect of it. So that was possibly a tell, I don't know if that is or not me that maybe that's just me finding one thing that I like about myself and promoting it. but yeah, I guess those would probably be my youngest tells

Gil:

Oh, my God. Of the sides were there.

Eric:

I also didn't I also shunned sports for a very long time and I was much more interested in watching figure skating on for the Olympics or gymnastics or yeah, I would rather watch that stuff. So even now I would still rather watch that stuff. Oh,

Gil:

I love my football still.

Eric:

I like football now and I I liked it then too, but I'll admit that I like football now.

Gil:

Yeah. Yeah. I know that's a stereotype amongst gays. They're like, we don't like sports. I'm like I do. I really do yeah, I watch it all. I'm like, sure. Why not? hell. I was even watching. Was it curling and all that during the winter Olympics, I'm like, what is this? I cannot

Eric:

get into curling. I don't really understand it. I've never really, I don't understand it. I have a friend who's a trainer and she trains a lot of curlers and she's oh, really? There's so much involved with it. And the strength training that is involved to be at that level. And I'm like, you're throwing a stone in sweeping but I know there's way more to it than that.

Gil:

So when was the last time someone made you feel your age? Cuz I know we've been referencing stuff about from our childhood and little ponies and all that. Yeah. When was the last

Eric:

time that happens to me probably on a daily basis. Cuz I work with people who are a lot younger than me and they're like, I've never heard of that song. And I'm like, okay. But one point that like, or I can give kind of some examples. I went on a date probably six weeks ago now five weeks ago, five or six weeks ago. I don't remember the person's way younger than me. They're legal, but they're way younger than me. And when I say legal, they can drink but way younger than me. And like we were talking about things and I'm like, wow, everything I'm talking about, you were not even born So at that point I was like, I graduated high school before you were born so that made me feel my age. Yeah. We had fun. Don't get me wrong. Correct. That made me feel my age, but then at the some point, like I'm like is age legality aside, is age just a number and that, huh? Some point I think it could be, I don't know. But I guess that's the last time someone made me feel that's not the last time, but that's a more recent time in which I was just like living in this moment of wow, I am so old. You fast forward it to like the following week and the following week after that, and I went on a date with the same with another person, but those two dates were with the same person, but different from the other person they were like, basically my age and oh, we know exactly what we're talking about. We grew up in the same time. We knew what this was, culturally, blah, blah, blah. That's all well. And good. And we had two dates, but I don't know that there was really a spark there where there was probably more of a spark with the younger person. But. I was just very aware of the fact that pretty much everything I went through in my younger days, they weren't even born yet. so I was like, wow, I am very old. Yeah. How about

Gil:

you? You're just advanced. You're just advanced in the timeline. It be

Eric:

honestly though I don't feel old and I was actually talking to a friend the other day. I don't feel old. I feel like I'm still in my twenties. And I think it's because I don't have kids and I'm single. So I don't feel old now sometimes physically I feel old because of the fact that I have autoimmune diseases and they just fuck up your body. Correct? Correct. Correct. So I don't know that I could still go out three or four nights in a row and shut down the bar every single night, dancing, six hours each night. That's probably not going to happen now. Yeah. But I still feel like I'm super young and I still feel like I can probably keep up with most of the kids today because I still have a lot of stamina and I'm still pretty badass when it comes to that type of shit. So

Gil:

I always feel like it's also that from our generation, from cuz you're pretty much as close to a millennial, let's call it before.

Eric:

a, I'm a Zal I'm an

Gil:

you're AZE. I'm like the older half

Eric:

of the millennials and one, one other quick thing, because I do have such nice skin. I do look younger, but go ahead. Yes.

Gil:

That's why I said 24 but it's the same thing. It's like our stories and that's when, for me, when did someone make me feel? My age is like, when I was telling my dates. My college years, I was talking to somebody about, being at UNM. And I was like, yeah, I was working, my 30 hours a week, somewhere in that ballpark, I would immediately after work, we're gonna go out to the club when I get back for the club, but I'm drunk. I'm gonna be like writing my papers. And then I'm back to class the next day. And I said, I was doing this routine routinely without, without blinking And these kids are like, I was telling to somebody to one of my to somebody I work with a younger manager and the person's also going to college right now. And they're just like, I can't do this. They're always like, and I they're like I would just have a mental breakdown. I'm like, I was like, you just get through the shit. I, I don't understand. There's none of this time to maybe, like now looking back that maybe that wasn't probably the best health choices, but that's fine. It was just, like I said, it was fun. It was different. Then you. You just made it work. Yeah. Like I knew what I was getting into. I knew I had school. I had to make sure I did a fuck up because my mother would be on the first fly to New Mexico to tell me

Eric:

I'm not too. And then she'd probably beat me down too.

Gil:

But I knew what I was doing. I worked, I did, I made everything happen. And that was just part of what you did. You just made it happen. And I didn't have the technology or the pay. Like I have people now complain, they're like this is not enough money. And I'm like, I was working off of 6 55 typed out my 30 hours. I still had, I saved enough money to go out, to get a couple of drinks. Shit. If I needed a floor to get a drink or you have connections, we made it work. I don't know.

Eric:

We got a lot of, we got a lot of free drinks though, when we would go out

Gil:

your connections, we, you flirted to convert and it worked. And Yeah. I don't know. Like I was just, when I told my stories that people like freaking out at me I don't understand how you're alive or what you, why would you do that? Don't you need like your time off and just 20 hours of sleep. I'm like, I didn't sleep. I sleep now. I take naps. yeah. Back then. I didn't sleep in college. Are you kidding me? I didn't need six days do a paper. I pretty much gave myself a deadline. You either knew the shit or you did it. You had eight hours type it up, buddy.

Eric:

as you're hungover or still drunk. Oh yeah.

Gil:

Oh yeah. I have written papers and I've got an a,

Eric:

I have to say when I was younger. Yeah. Yeah, I was out like what, four or five nights? A week? Yes. In a row, like partying all the time. Great time. Loved it. I would still do it again. I would do it now. Loved it. Loved it. Loved it. Loved it. I was never one to. I was always just go, stay busy. I'm still that way. I'm having to learn how to like, let go of certain things and not be quite as busy. And I had this conversation with a friend of a couple friends of mine where they're like, you are so busy and I'm like, I'm not busy though. Like at all. And they're like, you do this, and they name like seven things that I'm involved in or doing. And I'm like, yeah, but I still have time to not do anything. And they're like, you are super busy. They're like, I do this one thing or these two or three things and that's it. And I'm like, oh, okay, I guess I am busy in that regard. And so I'm trying to not be quite as busy. I'm also learning that my time is worth a lot. And this may not be a NEC I don't know, depending on what, how you think of the world. I would rather not work. A whole bunch and still have like my personal time and my downtime and my time to myself to either go to the gym, pursue a new hobby, get involved in something else to make myself busy, but some sort of like passion or something that I really like, or I may just wanna sit there and watch the Housewives for seven hours. It doesn't matter. But me having that personal time is now super important to me. So I would actually rather take that pay cut to a degree. I know you have to make a X amount of money to survive, but because we're all capitalists here, but I would much rather have that. I would much rather take that pay, cut to a degree and have some extra time for myself yeah. Than. Kill myself working when we all know that if something happens to you tomorrow, your job's gonna be filled like within 30 minutes. Oh yeah. So I'm not gonna kill myself to work. I no longer want to live to work. I want to work to live and I'm not gonna kill myself at work to live. Correct. So I'm there right now. So I see where the younger generation is in that regard. But yeah,

Gil:

and I think it's not just the work part. I think it's just their, they it's they can't handle more than a couple of things at a time. In that regard war, it's almost like it just it's one or the other and I'm just like, I did it all. Let's go. That, that,

Eric:

no. What though? That could also be a younger tell of ours because yeah. Women are much better at multitasking. So obviously we were good at multitasking. So that been a tell. That's

Gil:

true. Yeah, because these other one I'm just like, sweetie, honey, really? it's two things. And suddenly it's like slightest thing happens. Dust falls from the ceiling. They're on LOA for four weeks. I don't know for me, like I said, I knew how to handle my scandal. That's the truth. I handled my scandal. I knew how to deal with the drinking. I did not call off of work. I showed up and I didn't skip class. I never asked for an extension. It wasn't in the cards I was in college. I knew what I was going into. Sweet. Jesus.

Eric:

You go to college to do all that, right?

Gil:

Yes. That's why I don't, I can't relate. I just, I don't know. And we were broke. I had, we were broke in college, so we all pulled together. You remember? We're all like pot, like parties so we can all eat. We've been there. I

Eric:

Oh yeah.

Gil:

That's why I just laugh when it comes to like it's agent number. And that was something that you're posing. And that was a question we've asked people before. I think it sucks because it's such a very, it's a, I almost wanna lean a no that age is not necessarily a number, but a generational thing. It does. If that makes sense. It's I, how do I'm probably talking gibberish now about this one. It's a number in a sense of, it's a number assigned to a person to say that they are X amount of years old. But it doesn't mean that the maturity level necessarily is to that point. However, there are certain things that from a generational standpoint that it's not relevant to, or you are not able to understand on a peer to peer level. I, yes. Okay. I get that. I understand Like I said the impact of the moon landing for me, I'm like, oh, I read about it in books. I'm fully aware about the situation, but to that generation who lived it through the sixties, it was monumental. Yes. Nine 11 for us. Yes. We remember exactly when and where we were. Yes. The kids genie has no fucking idea. True alpha it's in a it's in the, slideshow,

Eric:

it would be in the history books, but it might actually still be, it might still be in the history books cuz it's making a, another culture of the bad guy. So yeah.

Gil:

Now the minority group targeted there's certain things like that or like music and stuff like that. Like I said I know it's music. I didn't grow up in the eighties with the music at the time. So to me it's I know it through the love of that, but not in a, I had that specific memory when that song came out versus something from our time period umbrella coming up for Rihanna, we know exactly where we were, we're dancing on at the et floor. We know times in the car or you stuff like that.

Eric:

It's when you're rolling, that's two miles an hour and you're like,

Gil:

stop. Yes. Yes, it's a yes. And a no question. It just really pan to what you're looking for.

Eric:

No, that's true. I can see that cuz I, I oscillate back and forth yeah. Cause in a lot of ways I vibe better with younger people. But I think it's cuz I don't see myself as an older person as we just discussed. Yeah. Yeah. I just I don't seem to get, I don't not that I don't get along with people my age, but people, my age are just often not always, but they're often older. Like they just act older. Correct. And it's, and I don't mean they act older as far as oh, my knee hurts or, oh, my back hurts. It's I don't want to go and do stuff. I just want to stay home. I want to watch my TV. I'm comfortable. I probably do that myself. I can guarantee that I do that myself, but it's just because I don't really have someone to go out with. But yeah, they, I just don't have a lot of the same interests as people who are around my age or older than me. I don't know if that speaks to my maturity level. And maybe I am probably immature in a lot of ways. I don't know. Quite possible. Probably very probable, but so in that regards I'm like age is just a number, like we're all legal, it's fine. Blah, blah, blah. But then as you were saying, there's a generational aspect to it. That person. I just went out with the other day yeah, not the other day, a few weeks back. They were toddler aged at nine 11. I was in college during nine 11. Right? Was that? No, I was like beyond college. I was, I think I was just taking a few college classes. And I was no, it happened in 2001, right? Yeah. One,

Gil:

2001. Yeah. Yeah.

Eric:

No, I was still, I was like finishing up college.

Gil:

Yeah. You wrap it up. I was a sophomore in high school.

Eric:

Yeah. So yeah. That's a pretty, like when you break it down into things like that's an age gap where, when someone says who's Janet Jackson, who the fuck are you? And then

Gil:

your heart stops. Yeah. Date done.

Eric:

And that regard I'm like, oh yeah, you don't know the rolling stone cover that like change the landscape for magazine covers. Correct? Because that was 10 or 15 years ahead of your time. Correct? Cause Janet Jackson's always been a trendsetter people.

Gil:

Yeah. It's true. I've I know some people I've hired their parents are barely older than me and I'm sitting like, what the fuck?

Eric:

Isn't that weird? Cause, so again, talking about that date, I was on. That person's parents were. I was like, I'm closer to your parents' age than your age. Yes, they were still older than me. Thank goodness. But I'm like, I literally could be not just your daddy, but I could be your father. And I don't mean I don't mean New Mexico parents. Like legit, anywhere in the world or country parents and their parents were older than me, but I'm like, I think I'm closer to your parents' age, even if they are like significantly older than me. Yeah. I don't know what that says about me.

Gil:

It is also, you'd just like you gravitate for something more vibrant at the same time, instead of I think that's it. Let's go hang out at the local bingo center and then have a Ben gay party. Woohoo. That's not interesting you.

Eric:

Yeah. I think when you say, like, when you say it like that I think I am like, I am attracted to someone who has this vibrancy about them. And so yeah, younger people are discovering things still because correct. It's like the whole world, it's a whole new world as Aladdin and Jasmine would say, and they're discovering things and experiencing things for the first time. And that excitement that it brings to them is just really cool to be around. And so like that, yeah. Like bounces back into you and you're like, oh my gosh. And maybe it plays a little bit of nostalgia. I don't know. I am very much in this moment where nostalgia's not a reason to hold onto things. But I think it's a little bit more than that. I think, like you said, like it's that vibrancy. So the fact that they're experiencing things and discovering things and finding new things about themselves out, I find really amazing and awesome. And it is also satisfying to be like, oh, wow. Look at all these opportunities you are afforded now because of all the shit that like we went through, not necessarily me, but like the generations before me. And like now you get to reap the benefits of it. And that's super exciting. And I wanna be, I wanna witness that and be part of that. Correct. Even if it's by proxy.

Gil:

Correct. And that's true. Cause if you talk to the older one, it's gonna be a little bit more everything's so negative and it gets, I don't know, everything's jaded at that point. And. There's stuff like, as I've gotten older, I see some of the signs and I'm just like, wow, it's funny now. And we'll look back. I'm like, oh, that's a huge red flag. Let's see if anyone's gonna see it. No, they're too young to realize it. I'm gonna watch this train wreck. Yeah. I just watch it. It's entertaining because we've all been there. I remember when, before, when you know, we're younger, you and I were our early twenties and it's like, everything was magnified back then. Like the

Eric:

slightest, you and I were not in our early twenties at the same time. We were the same. Thank you.

Gil:

Remember back then, it's everything was big. Oh my God, you going through your first couple of breakups? And it's just oh, the world's falling up apart. Let you know. Let's it was terrible. All things were bad or you're learning, your first time you're in love and yeah. Yes. It was. The emotions were real back then versus now when you're just I look back and I talk giggle, I'm like, I was crying over that motherfucker. Really? That's what I chose. Okay. Good job. Gill it was new at the time, and that's what it is with the young watching them do it.

Eric:

Yeah. But I think for most people I would exclude myself from this, but for most people, like first loves and heartbreaks are universal across generations. Yeah. Something that you felt very raw and real when you were 20, 21, someone of today's generation or the Z generation who's 20, 21 is gonna feel that exact same thing. Yeah. Maybe slightly different just because of. The era and the time, but it's still that very real raw emotion that happens when you're in that moment and having that type of impact happen to you. But as you said looking back now, you'd be like, oh, that was a red flag. That was a red flag. That was a red flag. But it's all, hindsight's always 20, 20. Oh, that's always, and it's always easier to see the other person's situation. Like that person over there, you can be like, oh honey, no, but the same thing's happening to you. And you're like, I don't know. I do that to myself all the time. I'm like, oh yeah yeah, I think you, I think that it happens where you may be able to recognize like, Ooh, that's not good. That's not a good situation, but when you're in that situation, you just oh, I don't know. I think this is totally fine. And that's probably, it's probably really not. I'm very guilty of that. As of a few months ago, being like being in a total situation, I was like, this probably isn't the best situation I've been in this situation already with this person already. And I'm making an allowance for it because I feel like there's something there that's probab that's not there. And it's like a hopeful, wishful moment for me. And I'm just being flooded and owned by stupidity of my own making.

Gil:

And I think that's a it's. You said it right on the nail, I think, especially about that. And I think, especially with people when they cling onto the past, is that it is the past. You're not moving forward, that's the best part about the breakups with the heartaches, with the good and the bad times, because then you're able to identify, so what is, what you deserve you find out, cause you don't know, like when I first started dating, I'm like, oh, this is the way I think I should be. And then I get to it. I'm like, I'm not this meek. Yes. Whatever you need kinda person in a relationship. I'm not, yeah. I'm not a doormat. I thought I, maybe I was. But I, yeah, no, you start doing self discoveries and then the shit that you thought you could put up with

Eric:

I think I allow myself to be a doormat in the beginning. Cause I think that's what people want. Yeah. But then at some point, like you said, you're like with, self-discovery like, no bitch, I am not that dormant. You are not gonna just walk all over me. You're not gonna treat me that way. You are not gonna wipe this shit on me. Keep it moving. I have actually have actually learned that about myself recently. Because I've learned to say, I've learned to say no. Now in the past couple years, yes. I've learned to say, no, I'm not great at it, but I can do it. Yes. So I'm not quite the people pleaser. I fall, I find myself falling into the trap of wanting to people, please, cuz it's just a survival me tactic that I used, which is not doesn't serve me anymore. So I've realized that. So I am working on not people pleasing as much and being able to recognize the bullshit and call out the bullshit in that moment. Good. What's not bullshit. Is this podcast. Yeah. Yeah. and our audience. We love you guys very much. So thank you for joining us again and listening to us rant and vent and to our faces and whatever else. We will be back next week and we'll, I don't wanna say see you then. I always wanna say see you then, but I never see you, but we'll be around one

Gil:

day. We'll do a live one. We'll do a live. We'll see how we live.

We

Eric:

do, maybe we'll do, maybe we'll come onto a Patreon and get with the times instead of being the old men. But thank you guys so much for joining us and have a great week

Gil:

thank you for listening to us. We hope you enjoyed your time in The Q Lounge. If you have any questions, comments, suggestions on topics, or if you would like to be a guest or contributor, please email us info.TheQlounge@gmail.Com or through our contact page at theqloungepodcast.com. Don't forget to subscribe to continue listening wherever you get your podcasts. If you want to be our sugar, daddy hit that donation button.

Eric:

Until next time live in your authenticity.