March 24, 2021

Season 2, Episode 8 (Huber)

Season 2, Episode 8 (Huber)

In this episode we were honored to be joined by Uber Pineda, Winner of Season 2 Groomer Has It and feature on Haute Dog. We had a very open and emotional conversation ranging from being gay in Guatemala, to moving to the USA, HIV, self-acceptance and more.

Transcript

Hello, and welcome to The Q Lounge Podcast. I'm Eric and I'm Gil. Join us as we discuss news stories and life situations. As they relate to the LGBTQIAPK+ experience, please visit us at theQloungepodcast.com and hit that subscribe button or listen wherever you get your podcasts while you're there. Please leave us a five star review and don't forget to tell your friends.

Eric:

Welcome to The Q Lounge. I'm Eric

Gil:

I'm Gil.

Huber:

And

Eric:

today we are honored to be joined by Huber. Hey Huber, how are you? Hi

Huber:

guys. How are you doing? I'm doing absolutely awesome. That's

Eric:

great. So glad to hear that how's life treating you right now in these COVID times.

Huber:

You know what? After I had it, cause I already had it the week between Christmas and new year's. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Gil:

And you get the full brunt of it or do, is it like a mild symptoms? No,

Huber:

no. It was like, I get to the point I'm, my mother didn't raise a stupid kid. I, I'm not an idiot, I've always had problems with my stomach, I've always had like a very delicate stomach and all my symptoms were like, in my GI tract I had I dunno, it was like, like having 500 pounds inside my stomach like I had no cough. I had no fever I was totally fine. The only thing is that, the smell of food was just like the most disgusting thing that I could ever imagine. Like bread, it tasted salty and water tasted sweet. Really interesting, and I thought about it, I'm like, do I have this thing? But I, like I didn't have any fever. I didn't have anything like that. So I'm like, Fine. And I'm a teacher, I teach grooming an Academy here in Los Angeles. And during those I had two weeks off at the end of the year, so I wasn't around people or anything like that. So I, like I didn't care about it. I just thought that I had caught up either A bug or some bacteria or something like that, but I never thought about it, but I was supposed to go back to work on January the 10th. So on the sixth they went in and I got my COVID test and, to my big surprise, it was positive. Yes. And like it's been it's been really hard because. Every morning I wake up sick, like I have morning sickness. There is still some food that, that I just don't care for. Like for instance, like I love Mexican food, but the smell of carnitas makes me gag. Yeah.

Gil:

Sorry. That's unfortunate. Oh God.

Huber:

I know. I know. It's It is what it is, and thank God I'm really grateful that, like it wasn't it wasn't a a bad case. Like I'm really happy that I kept myself aside from everybody. And little by little, little by little is starting to to go away.

Eric:

That's good. I hope you continue to feel better and get better. Yeah, there's definitely. There's the long haul syndrome, which is. Crazy to me. And they're still learning new signs and symptoms of that every day. And I know we have a lot of discussions about that in my acupuncture groups and all that other stuff with how they're having to help patients deal with that. Cause there's not many resources or places for long haulers to turn to. So

Huber:

yeah. Yeah. And you know what something else is I have never known exhaustion. Like I did. Like I could barely go out and walk the dogs and I will come back and I will be like, so exhausted that I will go to bed and sleep for five hours. Wow. Oh, geez. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's no, it's not joke. Yeah.

Eric:

Yeah. I've known a few people have had it and it's everyone's signs and symptoms are completely different, but it's scary. Yeah.

Huber:

Yeah, it's really scary. And like I am. So looking forward to the to the vaccine. And actually, like being a teacher, I can go get it. I'm just looking for the chance to to go get it because I have my students and, I just can't, I just can't afford to like, get sick again, or I don't know. I couldn't live with myself if, if I give it to someone that is just like my biggest fear.

Eric:

That's understandable. I actually am three weeks out from my second vaccine. So I've been vaccinated so

Huber:

I know you, you have to tell me about your did you have any reactions or?

Eric:

I had very minor reactions. My, my side effects were very minor. The first. After the first vaccine, I had a headache for the rest of the day, and then I had a sore arm for a day and a half. And that was literally it for the second vaccine, there was a little bit more, but it still wasn't much. I had I had cotton mouth for the rest of the day and I had a slight metallic taste in my mouth. And. I was really tired. So I'm a night owl. Typically I typically run on four to six hours of sleep and I usually fall asleep between one and two in the morning and stay up or sleep for a little bit. And then I have to be up early, but I pretty much fell asleep. I think I want to say like around nine 30. And I slept till probably about seven 30, eight o'clock. So I got a good nine, 10 hours of sleep that night. And then I had a sore arm for a day and a half. So that was the extent of my symptoms.

Huber:

No. So it wasn't that bad at all? No, not

Eric:

at all. I know some people have had like fevers, we had a guest just recently had just gotten their vaccine that day or the day before. And they had a fever or they had a low grade fever and stuff like that. And yeah. Had some other signs and symptoms. I was like, I'm lucky that I didn't have that. I also know that my, my stepfather just got his second vaccine today. Oh, good. That's awesome. Yeah. You only thing he can say is that he has a sore arm and he's got really declined health, but he, his he's got severe heart problems and other health issues. So it has an effect knock on wood. It didn't affect him too much either.

Huber:

Oh that's good. I'm glad about that.

Eric:

And he got Moderna, and I got Pfizer and I know that Johnson and Johnson is going to be released here and they're going to do like the severe rollout on that, so good.

Gil:

We need it. Yeah. Yeah.

Huber:

It's I can't believe it's drag to like this long it's come on, we are the fucking United States of America, like what

Eric:

homeboy from the last four years turned us into a third world country. If even that

Huber:

boy motherfucking cunt, I'm sorry. I, I'm not going to hold back on that. Fucking asshole.

Eric:

You don't have to. Oh, no. All of our episodes are marked explicit. So you seen my mouth you're my

Huber:

inspiration. And that will continue if they didn't put me on fucking Facebook jail last time, just because I remember the woman that that attacked the kid in New York because of the iPhone. Yes. I called it a twat and like just that random, whatever Huff post or, one of those things and sure enough. You're in the dog house for a month. Cause he called a woman a twat?

Eric:

Yeah. It's crazy. What's going on right now? I got in trouble back in November for, I don't know if you guys heard this story Gil, you might know it. Cause I know you follow football from the Vanderbilt. There was a girl, they were playing a game and. A lot of their players were out with COVID or something like that. So they needed a kicker and there was a girl that happened to be on campus because she was part of the soccer team and they had just won and they had just got back to campus. So they had her come and kick for them. Yeah. They were talking about that. And she was like one of the first female kickers to achieve whatever it was. And all these guys are just like going off like, Oh, I hope there's guys smash her. I hope they like knock her down. She wants to play with the big boys and she wants to play with us, men. We're going to show up or what's up. And I was like, that's fucking gross. I was like, you guys are fucking gross. And I got put in Facebook jail because I called men gross. I was like, I'm sitting here speaking up against misogyny. Yeah. They

Huber:

punish me. Oh guys, you know what? They're members of the two inch dick club, I said it,

Gil:

but it's true. It's like you guys. You guys, really, those comments are nothing compared to what we have said live here on our podcast. But like I said, the fake information circulating, apparently it's not an issue, which I'm like, that is the issue. You should be banning that, but yeah, they should be

Huber:

bending down,

Gil:

God forbid it's sad when the onion looks like real news in comparison to what's being circulated and the onion has always been like historically bad. It's like the, what is it at the grocery store? You see the, what is it? The fake newspaper that they have right. In the black and white generally. Yeah. That's okay. Of

Eric:

course. Yeah. Or anything that deals with white supremacy? That's fine. That's absolutely fine.

Gil:

We don't have to that. Okay. So what did we circle it back? Huber? What was your coming out story? Tell us about you. How did it all come to be? Oh

Huber:

shit. Actually I have two stories. Okay. I am from Guatemala. Okay. Little central American country. And, it's one of those things that, society had as backwards. And of course everything is Oh my God, like a match or whatever. And I cannot tell you that, like I'm the nelliest gay guy in the country, like I'm not the most masculine guy. It's like you, you meet me, when was it always 19? I believe. And my dad he found out, I don't know how that, how he did, but he found out and I was thrown out of my house. Like literally, like beat up all bleeding, everything like, like just that he mangled me, it was just horrible, and he threw me out of the house at three 30 in the morning. So I had to go in pajamas and no shoes and, beat to a pulp. And I had to go in, knock at my at the neighbor's door, like they were they were really nice people and, they helped me out. They gave me clothes and, and Clean me up, allow me to take a shower and, I have to call a couple friends and they came and picked me up and like I was immediately homeless, I was disowned countries like that. It's really easy. You can destroy a person. You can totally, absolutely erase a person from the planet. If you have money. So he did that, It's sad when I say it. I, I'm over it, I don't hold any kind of ill. He's dead anyway, But I went and I I had to crash on my grandmas, and I remember. After two weeks my aunt and my uncle that live here, the residents they're they're citizens here. They came over to visit and the family and in a complete, like a surprise Visit, they just came in and here we are, and they heard what had happened and they offered me to to come here to the States. So they they adopted me, they allowed me the chance to to come over here. There was back in 89 and spot aside as far as I'm concerned right now, it's like, they are my dad and my mom. Yeah. Yeah. They're just. They're very, they're very simple people. They're, they're, I cannot say that they're poor because they work their ass off, I remember at a point my dad had four jobs. My mom had three. But at the same time, in, they pulled themselves out and, they made money, they bought their house. And my dad, he's a truck driver. My mom was a a hotel mate and, like they, they made a life, and they brought me here. And and I remember when my mom Where she she was she was telling me, we're going to bring you in, we're gonna make everything possible. So you can come and live with us, have a chance to to a better life in the United States, but you have to come, clean? And I'm like come clean with that. And he goes you tell me, is there anything that we need to know? what do you think? What you mean? Like they said, anything that you need to know, I'm like, what do you want, what do you want to know? And she goes, mijo, are you gay? I'm like, yes, I'm gay. And she goes that's everything we need to know. And they brought me here and here I am. Like that was my to come out and you know what, in all honesty like I for years and years, there's, like I had this thing, this resentment and this of this horrible resentment in my heart, like I wanted to tell my dad, like I just wanted to tell him off, To, to make him feel bad. I just wanted to like, attack everything. Like making him feel feel horrible, and when he died I dunno, like something switched, like something like, like deep, not even in my heart, I got to say deep down in my spirit changed. And, like I thought why, you know why he did what she did, he cheated himself out of a really good son. I'm a good person. I'm a good guy. And he cheated himself for the last years of his life, from, from having a good son. Yeah. And not magically, like it just, I don't know. It's like healing just descended and, it sounds corny, but that's what happened, my real mom is still alive. She's like she has so many issues. She had a stroke. She's in bed. She needs her diapers changed and everything. And I, I can't feel anything towards her. Yeah. Like I don't feel guilty. I don't feel like, yeah, bitch, you get what you deserve. I just, like I just don't feel anything. Yeah. I just, if anything, I feel sad, cause that's a horrible, that's a horrible way to end your days, in your life. She's almost a vegetable. But I don't know. I often wonder if like that is the meaning of forgiveness. Like I just don't, I don't feel love. I don't feel hate. I don't feel ill. I just don't want to do anything with her. And I'm sorry, once I'm done with someone I'm done with someone,

Eric:

Yeah, that's understandable. And that's also very justifiable what you went

Huber:

through. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what it's I'm happy. I'm a happy person, that I came to a place in which I can be openly gay, I live in Los Angeles. Nobody, not If I want to go out in a in a Tutu and like sending me in stilletos or if I want to put a harness and go out like that, nobody gives a shit, and yeah.

Gil:

I'm glad that you at least got that second chance. It's not like your story ended right there where you got kicked out. And then you had to figure it all the way up it's that you had that second chance someone was looking over you. It was like, Hey, come with us. And that's

Huber:

excellent. You know what, I think that's the definition of divine intervention, cause I didn't know that my aunt and my uncle were coming to visit, I was just like, like I was still in shock, I was like, Like I still, my eyes were like, like I remember one of my eyes was like, like completely red. Yeah. When you burst a little, a little my nose, like I, I have a deviated septum that, happened where he beat me, beat me like that, but it's all good. Life is too fucking short. Yeah, that kind of grievances it's a waste of like human heart is that it's a waste of emotion.

Gil:

Oh, absolutely. And then how was it? Cause I'm doing the math, like you were coming out, especially during the eighties, into the nineties, during the AIDS epidemic. How was that?

Huber:

Oh, okay. Oh, that was Oh, that was.

Gil:

Because I'm from the Bay. And I I remember those stories for us. It's always we lost a generation in San Francisco of men from the eighties into the early nineties because of AIDS. So we know that th they're gone it's, so that's why I'm curious somebody from that I'm like, Oh my God, please tell us,

Huber:

you know what I w my first job here in, in Los Angeles was, do you remember the Cousteau society. Jack Cousteau. Yes, I do. Eric does. Okay. He was a biologist or w what was he like? He was just I just remember he was French. He was a Marine

Eric:

biologist

Huber:

Marine biologist. Okay. So they had their offices in West Hollywood. And I became a janitor. Like I went there every night, then, clean toilets and pick up garbage and did all that kind of stuff, and that they had their offices in West Hollywood. So like every day I would have a chance to see, gay life, like it took me a while to put two and two together. Like I was that innocent to that stupid. You know that, seeing like all the hustlers and Santa Monica Boulevard. And I was like, what are those guys doing? Yeah. Like why aren't they standing up in the, the bus and the bus stop and they don't get in the bus, like I had a chance to see people walking all over the place, like looking like just like shells, I, so people would Kaposi sarcoma remember that. No, like those horrible lesions that they had all over their, their bodies people that, were like, like less than that, a hundred pounds, like walking all over the place. And yeah, it was quite scary, I talked to my aunt and uncle, my, my mom and dad, and like I would tell them and they go mijo, they have AIDS and I was like, Oh my God. So I started I started reading, I started educating myself about what it was, because, like I can hear BA barely speaking English. I spoke English, like I was just such a So naive and so innocent, coming from a third world country to here. And it was like, like it was it was a big shock, and I just remember, I, the people with Kaposi sarcoma, I remember that's that's an image that I have permanently in my mind, and later on, of course, when I understood and, I caught up into, like the tragedy of it all it was just yeah. It was sad, sad, very sad. In 1993 I met someone. His name was Carrie, and we clicked and like I'd met him at there was a there was a a bar here in West Hollywood called the rage. And I met him there, and we, it took him home and spend the night together and, like with continue, talking and seeing each other and everything. And at that point he had he was HIV positive and one day he he ended up with like he, he told me like, like my arm hurts. And it hurts really bad. So he went to the doctor and he ended up with bone cancer. Oh shit. And I don't know if you remember the name of the drugs that they use to to treat HIV and DDI which were like, like highly toxic, and within three months he was gone. Oh, my God. Sorry. I, like I, I still miss him, like I still I remember going to visit him at the hospital. I remember the operations. I remember like him feeling so sick after taking the medication medication, And he was going in three months, three months and he was gone. So yeah, that's, that was my experience with it. Later on, like way down the road, I also became positive. But at that time, I'm, like things were gone, things have changed in, like we had the cocktails, remember they used to call it, they used to call it cocktails. Yes.

Gil:

Eric explained to him like, what is this what's going on?

Huber:

And so yeah, that'd be positive since 1995. I me. Remember what year? Alanis, Morissette. The song

Eric:

Oh yeah, that's awful jagged little pill.

Huber:

We check it a little bit. Yeah. So I remember, I went to my doctor and he just said, like you're positive. And, like I was just like, daze, fuck, it's it, I'm going to go off the Kerry, like what's going to happen to me, and I remember leaving the live in the doctor's office. And getting into my car and that fucking song just into the radio,

Gil:

God,

Huber:

isn't that ironic?

Eric:

The weird thing about that song though, is that song is not ironic. It's all coincidentally. Yeah, it's ironic that was the song.

Gil:

Did it have a good sense of humor? Oh,

Huber:

by the way. I'm okay.

Eric:

I'm agnostic. So

Gil:

cheers. Oh

Huber:

goodness. Yeah. So yeah that's in, in a nutshell, that's my experience with, what HIV and AIDS and all that kind of stuff. Aside from the fact that I lost a lot of people. Yeah, I lost over 20 people that I knew. Oh, wow. Wow. Like I remember that, like I remember one time I went to two funerals within five days.

Gil:

Oh my God.

Huber:

Funerals with him five days. Like what the fuck really? Like we lost. So many people, like so many people that went and I, what, what makes me really sad is the way that they went, it was painful. It was lingering. And like there were still people that, refuse to touch him. Yeah.

Eric:

Yeah. That whole stigma that used to be around. Yeah, the

Huber:

stigma, still is. We still have that stigma, It's still somewhere around there, once in a while I'm like, I get it. Yeah.

Eric:

We were, we had a guest last season who shared their story as well and they were undetectable. And so we were talking about how undetectable is untransmissable, but he was saying that even being Undetectable. A lot of people would still be like, Oh no, like I still don't want to pursue anything with you. Even medical professionals are like, I don't want to pursue anything with you, even though intellectually. I know you're okay. Cause U=U, but they still have that weird stigma up.

Huber:

Yeah.

Gil:

But, I would probably blame the the twist on it during the Reagan years. Definitely. Oh, Reagan, that whole, that time period and the propaganda against it, it was the gay disease. It was dubbed that. So immediately even when I came out in 2000 and 5,000, yeah, 2006 to my family, they still have, there was some stigma around it. Oh my God. You're gay. Oh my God. Are you going to have AIDS? 2006 and I'm like, no,

Huber:

I remember a couple of times that I was invited to, to dinner or to whatever, and I was served in paper plates.

Gil:

Yeah. Yeah.

Huber:

Oh, my gosh, I was served the paper plates, plastic and plastic cups for a while. Everybody was dining in China. Wow. God, that's something isn't that something. And it's like just ignorance. Ignorance is just like the biggest evil. Yeah.

Eric:

There's a lot of ignorance around.

Huber:

Oh yeah. Definitely.

Gil:

But are a fighter, like I was saying, you

don't

Huber:

want, I I. I'm the child of circumstances. Let's just put it

Eric:

down.

Huber:

I, you know what, I just know I'm not a natural born fighter, like I just don't set myself up to, to fight something. I choose, like I just adapt.

Eric:

So you're an adapter and a survivor.

Huber:

Yeah. Oh yeah. Like pairing up survives so many things you guys have Oh God. One time. I used to work for Petco. Okay. And I'm not a groomer by profession and,

Eric:

and also the season two winner of Groomer Has It, right?

Huber:

Yeah. Yeah. I know the fucking year, 2009. Yeah.

Gil:

Just that little thing, The

Huber:

bill, I, I don't know why, like I guess the gods have like something that they, for some reason they want me here, I remember one time, I, like at lunchtime across the street, there was a little restaurant and they had like the best tuna melts. So I'm like, Oh, I'm going to go ahead myself. And, like crossing the street. There were, it was like, like this, it sounded like an explosion, like in these two cars, just like just collided, it was just boom, okay. What's in the middle of the road, and I can tell you that, like pieces of glass bouncing in, in, in my belly and my chest. Oh my God like you don't six feet in, I would have been toast and that would have been toast. Things like that, like you just know that I don't know like I, I call it luck. call it, whatever you want to call it, like it's happened, I remember one time also it was a white party Palm Springs pool party, I remember I was high as a kite on E. And, like along with 200 men, almost naked men in the pool, music amazing. This was 2001. Okay. And I was like, like going on the water and like pulling people's shorts down. And, and I just remember somebody hit me by my eye, somebody hit me with a knee or something like that, under the water. And and I just remember like I saw black, like it was black. And then, like little by little, my, my vision came back, but I couldn't move, and I was like inhaling water in and it hurts. It hurts. You have no idea how much it hurts. Like I think. Dead by by drowning is like one of the worst things to do it, it feels like fire in your lungs, I couldn't move. I was just like, and somehow somebody pulled me out of there. And, like next thing I know, they're like, like the, the lifesavers or paramedics or whatever the fuck they were, like at this time, I don't know who saved me. I have no idea ever saved me. Oh, wow.

Eric:

well I'm glad. They did whoever that person is

Huber:

thank you, I'm so glad and stuff like that. Like my life has been like,

Gil:

It

Huber:

things had circumstances that had happened, and somehow I just hello, I'm still here.

Eric:

I'm glad you're still

Gil:

here. I'm still here.

Huber:

No. Like I'm very very glad and very grateful. I'm a very grateful person, every morning, every night, it's like I go to bed in gratitude. I wake up in gratitude. There's a lot of things that I want, but there's not a single thing that I need. Like all my needs all met. I don't know. Do you guys, have you guys heard I dunno if it was like, like early two thousands or something like that? Kim English song called what is it? Oh my God. I'm blanking out about the name of the song. It says I have my strength. I'm in my right mind. The song is called every day. You know what, if you have a chance. Sit down and do absolutely nothing, but listen to the to the lyrics of the song. I, it's just, that's, like I, I can, I almost play it every day, my way back on my way to work or on my way back. I always liked to play it, because it's just it's gratitude is, like it's just saying for some reason I'm here. I have no fucking idea why, but thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

Gil:

I was going to say a lot of people, especially during the COVID time, it actually like level set at or reset a lot of people's mentality or kind of just their day-to-day. And I think that kind of the same thing, just being grateful for every day or being just thankful to be here. And I know I was one of them during the furlough. I was kinda like, Oh my God, I had the little things I was excited about. Just being a little bit more aware. Instead of just, I'm going to do my nine to five, I'm going to go do this. I'm going to the city to work and very mundane and this kind of reset everything.

Huber:

You know what it is. It's funny that you say reset everything. Because I think that this pandemic is resetting everything. Yeah. Everything is like within the half a million people that we have lost, my heart really aches for that. The loss of such amount of life, it's just, and we're just talking about the United States, let alone the rest of the world. But I think that, like we needed that as a society as humankind. We needed a cultural reality, because we're just, we're caring for the things that don't mean anything. Like cool things about like the extinction, the mass extinction that were going on right now, we're going through all these animals dying, and it's like it. Did you think that, like w when you were a little boy and you went to the, to the zoo, did you ever think that one day we will run out of rhinos? No. Did you think that one day tigers would be like, like threatening? No, never. And yet here we are. Yeah. No. So we need that, we need the universe like really put us in the lap and then give us a couple spanks.

Gil:

It's

Huber:

always just like bitch, you know what fuck cares about your Louis Vuitton bag running we're running out of hippos. Come on, do something about it. That's just me call me crazy.

Eric:

What do you think about the generation now? The generation coming up, the generations after you? Cause you've seen a lot. So what do you think about the progress that we've made in the community with society and everything else?

Huber:

I think we need a little bit more respect, I think our gay community or our younger people, we need to teach them respect for our elders. We need to respect life. We need to respect, the world that we live in. We need to respect each other, like cancel culture, like to me, it's. let me see, what can I, how can I put it? Good analogy. The hookup ads, it's not that I ever been in dos

Eric:

for everybody, so

Huber:

no, I've never been on those but anyway like it's so easy to like, like when somebody sends you a message and like you don't, that person is not particularly your, your prototype of male beauty and, at least say, you know what thank you for reaching out. But no thanks

Gil:

were out like,

Huber:

like people just ignore it. Ignore

Eric:

ghosting as a very true.

Huber:

Yeah. Yeah. And that's just the stupid, Stupid little literal example. We did that every day. We did that to our elders. We do that to our family. We did that to our friends, but we do that to the people that, that are shopping in the same market that you are shopping. We need to respect. We need respect. But I, In a way I'm an old fashion, progressive let's call it that way. There were some things that, like our grandparents used to do. I remember my grandpa like he would never, you will never see him out in the street with our, without him wearing a suit, a hat and an umbrella, he looked like the penguin, but, but that was his thing, and a couple of times, like I heard them saying that, like when you go out in public, you dress up, it's just a way to be respectful to yourself. So people recognize that you're a person of, of honor and value and so you don't offend anyone else, and that does have some values that, like they need to come back. Do I make any sense? Yes.

Gil:

Yeah. I grew up in a very, more, more traditional setting. So to me, like I'm used to certain things done a certain way, or especially like the respect to the elders. And so I do hear from younger people, the way that they speak to their parents or speak to their grandparents, I'm appalled. Because I'm not for me, I'm like I would get murdered if I spoke to my parents or my grandparents in that same tone. But I also put the safety with the dressing up. Like I'm used to, my I've never, or I should say I almost have never seen my parents ever dress in just regular jeans. It's khakis. It's a kind of nice dress slacks. It's you know, and it, my grandparents on the same level go, especially to the city. You don't go to the city sloppy. That's a no like I said, the younger gen, they come in and God knows whatever they want to wear. I felt old fashioned about it, but that's just from my upbringing. In my perspective. Yeah.

Huber:

Yeah. She's been gone for 12 years already, and I love that woman so much, if she would see me walking out the street, Wearing flip-flops Oh, she was slapping the back of my head and she would go like what are you doing? Showing your patas go, go put some shoes on, which means don't be rude, and, of course, we can, no, we can not go back to that point. Like the world is changing and, like we can still be respectful. We can still like, have manners. Yeah. Like 20, 21 style, yes. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I, like I, I see that to finally respond to, answer the question that you ask how do I feel about our generation? So it's I see a clear lack of of attention to, to people that have lived more than you. Like kids today, like they think that they know everything, they think that, and I'm sorry, cause I'm sounding like I'm 80 years old, like mentally I am, I'm sorry, let's be kinder, like that's the word? That's the word? There's no kindness. Yeah,

Eric:

I can see that.

Huber:

Yeah.

Eric:

I also think like a lot of the younger generation doesn't always educate themselves on the history and the struggles of things that they've gone through. So they have things better now because of generations past. Yeah.

Huber:

Yeah. But you know what? I'm not gonna just trash him, because there are our future, like I, I do I do enjoy, company of younger people. I, I enjoyed the way that they're thinking, they're thinking more globally. Yes. They're thinking about the environment, look at how many youngsters, went to, to vote, and, that's encouraging, like that kind of encourages me.

Eric:

What do you think about the progress though? That's been made in the LGBTQ community specifically from like your generation to today's generation?

Huber:

Oh I love it. I love it because like very soon I don't think that we're going to need labels, like I think I don't think that I would live to see that, but I can see that, like where we're going. Towards that, future, there's a lot, there's a lot of acceptance right now, with the trans community. Like kids these days, it's like they could care less, if you're trans or whatever, and like I can see that, like they like that's a non-issue, sometimes for them yeah. Like I, like I, at the same time that I see that we still need, a lot of work to do, we still need some growing to do, like it, it's very encouraging and it's very it's very nice to see that, like we're heading the right direction. Yeah. Yeah.

Gil:

I agree.

Eric:

Gil and I are always talking about how we're just a little jealous of where they are now compared to where, when we were younger and everything like have had, we had the fluidity and the acceptance then that they do now.

Gil:

Oh, dear Lord. Our story would have been a little bit different.

Eric:

Yeah,

Huber:

I have a little story to tell you guys like I believe three or four years ago, I was invited to go to spend Thanksgiving to a friends, to a friend's family. And I noticed that one of his nieces yeah, she was like 13 at the time. She was like very fluid, like she was like very androgynous looking, little girl, yeah. She could have passed for a boy. She could have passed for a girl, whatever, and at the time that we were sitting down for her for dinner, like everybody had to say what they were, what they were grateful about and when it got to be her turn she just said, I am very grateful that my family accepts and don't have a problem with my bisexuality.

Gil:

Beautiful.

Eric:

That's awesome.

Gil:

30 years ago, 40 years ago saying that he would like,

Huber:

no, and you know what there was, that was just so cute. And so sweet, because of course, the whole family giggle, but like it was true. Like they didn't know w it was such a. Such a nice family, like they were, it says a lot about like how you raise your kids, and how they talk about like their life. I, I don't think that she was quite she was quite aware of, like what she was saying. I don't think that she had ever had sex to begin with either with a man or a woman. But, she was aware that she was bisexual and like that was like one of those like moments. I just want it to go in

Gil:

Yeah, but we've talked about even like in shows and stuff like that, the visibility on Hulu or Netflix and compared to what it was before we had to wait for like the the VHS back section of blockbuster or something like that. Oh, yeah. Me, I was lucky we had the Castro, so he just go straight into the Castro to find a gay film, but it took some time now it's everywhere or I should say everywhere, but.

Huber:

Oh, wait, it's everywhere. There's dicks, flopping everywhere.

Gil:

There's nothing wrong with it. Our prayers are heard nothing wrong about it,

Huber:

but it's true. If you don't have, if you don't have an adult filter or one of those I don't know what, it's a field that I don't know the name of it. On Google, but you can, you can You can Google a word in like once in a while what do you see? It's it's the picture of a dick or the picture of a pussy. You

Gil:

know,

Eric:

a lot of porn does pop up when you Google stuff.

Gil:

I remember in the early days of the internet, I accident with Google. Cause I was, listening to bananarama and I was like, let me check this bananarama has a website and that did not pull up bananarama yeah. This is like what 2002, one, I think.

Eric:

That must have been a slow download too.

Gil:

Oh, it was, I was like, what's taking so long and I went to palpate, like my pearls, the internet of a one. We got to

Huber:

love that shit.

Gil:

Oh goodness. What advice would you give yourself a younger you, now that you're looking back from time to time. You're like, Oh, if I would have done X, Y, Z, or learnings, any learnings that you've had

Huber:

I would go back to I would go back to the time that I arrived here. And I would say, honey, don't hold off. Do as you must. And don't regret it. Don't regret a damn thing of what we do. Sorry about the bad things that you do make amends for the bad things that you do, but don't you fucking ever be sorry of what you have done. Okay.

Gil:

That's good advice.

Huber:

Yeah. I, I, I just can't say anything else. I just can't keep myself from like making mistakes or whatever, because. Those mistakes are what makes you, who you are right now, and if you're happy with who you are, it's going against yourself. Just go on to enjoy, life is meant to be lived. If you live for 20 years. Fine. Just live those two years does 20 years to the fullest. If you get to be 80 fine, just live, enjoy, it's a fucking banquet. Quit, have some Dick, try booze if you want to. Don't worry. I wouldn't bet you know, if you want to, I'm not going to say no. Who the fuck am I not to tell you what to, what to do? I, like I'm just, you know what, I'm just in, in such a point of gratitude right now, when I was diagnosed with HIV, I didn't know, it took years to like fully accept and what's really funny. I remember one time I just, like invited a Trek, remember the AOL chat rooms.

Eric:

Yes, I do.

Huber:

Yeah. So I got a trick from one of the, one of the chat rooms. He came over and, he ended up spending the night and when he left he took something out of his backpack and it was a book and he said I think that you need to read this book, I just finished it and like I don't believe on, on, on hoarding information, those words, he, his exact words. And he said, please do me a favor and read this book. And the book was by Marianne Williamson and the title was A Return to Love. If you ever have a chance to read that book, it will change your life in, in, in the best way possible. There was there was a chapter in there that was about making peace with your if you had any physical condition know any illness or, whatever, how to talk to your to your disease and make peace with it, and I just thought about it, and at that time I was still like, like a little shaky on my, accepting my HIV. And I wrote a 10 page letter to my HIV. Wow. I, like everything just came out and I understood one thing, if my HIV killed me, it will kill itself. So I made a deal with my HIV and I said, you know what, if you don't get out of control, if you learn how to live with me without killing me, we're a team. And ever since I emailed, like I can tell you and it sounds hard. It sounds like really weird, but I love my HIV, cause it's we're stuck together. It's like one of those relationships, comes to your house and never leaves,

Eric:

It's very symbiotic.

Huber:

So I think that's one of the reasons, not that I talked to my HIV or anything like that, but in my mind, consciously and, I I made peace with it, and I said, you're welcome. You're welcome to stay. Just don't kill me. Yeah. That, that was, that was a turning point in my life. That really was,

Eric:

that's really remarkable and really deep, like that point of view and being able to actually compartmentalize and express it in that way.

Huber:

Yeah. And so on that book is it's just such a, such an amazing book. And, like even now like I buy probably 10 books a year and I just give it to people as a present. Oh and I don't know how many have have read it. I don't know how many have benefited out of it, what if somebody gave it to me and, I benefited that way. I want to extend that to, to somebody and, out of a hundred books, one person, one person, It gets to have, benefited or gets to grow and have the experience that I have job well done. Yeah.

Eric:

Yeah. That's beautiful.

Gil:

That is goodness. Do you have anything coming up? Any plans. I know it's hard to plan right now, but any side projects or another show you're going to win.

Huber:

First I have to be called. Call me.

Eric:

Didn't you just do one though?

Huber:

I, yeah, I just did. It's called Haute Dog Haute. Hi, yeah. Is from HBO, max and I'm in the first episode and I fucking killed that. Ah, yes.

Eric:

Yes. That's exciting.

Huber:

Yeah. It's exciting. And I, I I have learned, through all these years of like I wanted to open my own salon. I want it to have this, I want to have that. And what, a time of their time. Just couldn't, life just didn't aligned up to, to the purpose. I just, I, you know what. Just allow, just allowing life to work with you, I think is the best thing to do. I have, one of my, if not my best friend he lives in in New Jersey. And, like we out of Facebook, like we met on Facebook about four years ago and, we took off and, like he's just one of the most important people in my life, like I really don't know what could I do without him? Just one of those friends, like it's just an amazing, amazing, loving relationship. And I went to visit him two years ago and, like we, we said, Oh, we should meet more often. And we haven't been able to, this happened to me, this happened to him then the pandemic and, like whatever, so I, I choose not to make plans, like I just, like I'm just Live in the moment. I'm just an opportunistic tapeworm. Let's just put it that way. I, the door opens there. I come, running. I'm not gonna wait. Fucking don't open some in yes, I'm not that big on plans.

Eric:

Thank you for planning to spend your hour with us chatting. We really appreciate you coming by to chat with us and sharing your story.

Huber:

That, like you, you chose, to ask me, I have absolutely nothing to do with this when we are having a great time. Cause I'm having a blast. Yeah.

Eric:

We really appreciate you saying yes. Cause he could have said no, so yeah, we appreciate you saying yes. Since coming,

Gil:

you shared your fabulous story. It was wonderful.

Huber:

Thank you so much. I, I really appreciate it. I've let you know, like humbly, thank you for for giving me the chance to talk to you. And then, just to say what's up, just to say, tell you the reason I'm still here.

Eric:

Yeah.

Huber:

Because let me tell you if life was fair, I

Gil:

wouldn't be here. I wouldn't.

Eric:

So just wanted to say thank you everyone for joining us. And we will hopefully be in your ears next week. Thank you.

Gil:

Thank you. thank you for listening to us. We hope you enjoyed your time in the cue lounge. If you have any questions, comments, suggestions on topics, or if you would like to be a guest or contributor, please email us info.TheQlounge@gmail.Com or through our contact page at theqloungepodcast.com. Don't forget to subscribe to continue listening wherever you get your podcasts. If you want to be our sugar, daddy hit that donation button.

Eric:

Until next time live in your authenticity.