May 5, 2021

Season 2, Episode 14 (Tea Time)

Season 2, Episode 14 (Tea Time)

Our first official "Tea Time."  Gil and Eric were joined by Gil's husband Chris and Micah from last season as we answered questions on life, love, sex and anything and everything in between.

Transcript

Hello, and welcome to The Q Lounge Podcast. I'm Eric and I'm Gil. Join us as we discuss news stories and life situations. As they relate to the LGBTQIAPK+ experience, please visit us at theQloungepodcast.com and hit that subscribe button or listen wherever you get your podcasts while you're there. Please leave us a five star review and don't forget to tell your friends.

Eric:

Hello and welcome to The Q Lounge. I'm Eric and I'm Gil. And tonight we have a special Q Lounge. We are going to be doing tea time with some special guests for super excited. We have joining us Micah from last season. Hello. Hello, and we also have Gil's other half, some say his better half, some say his other half.

Gil:

Chris, how are you

Eric:

doing well? Thanks. Thank you so much for joining us. So Benoit was supposed to join us tonight, but he's recovering from his second COVID shot. So he couldn't make it. So shout out to, Benoit So we're excited to have this, just a few things for our listeners. You can visit us at theQloungepodcast.com. If you're not already there and you can hit our donation button through PayPal, or you can also hit that,Buy Me A Coffee button, and you can support this podcast to help us grow. Also, if you feel so inclined to do please go to Apple podcasts and leave us a five star review and also a written review, because that helps us to grow and helps us to populate through the podcast universe. And hopefully. Be able to do this a little bit longer and get some sponsorship.

Micah:

So

Eric:

let's go ahead and take a journey into tea time. So we're going to just ask some questions and have some fun and get to know each other and see where things go. Sound good?

Micah:

Yep. Gotcha. That's great.

Gil:

I consent.

Chris:

It is 2021. Yes.

Micah:

Please consent as well.

Eric:

We're going to just ask some random questions and answer with, what first comes to mind or however you want to, so we'll start off pretty easily. Do you have any guilty pleasures and if so, what are they

Gil:

Gil? Ooh, guilty pleasures. I don't think I do, because I think of wise having him on this Oh, a dress of guilty pleasures of my I love, obviously my Ice cream, no matter what time of the season. Yeah. Or the distance you had just had one earlier. I don't know. I really don't. I don't know if I have any. Christopher continue.

Chris:

My guilty pleasure. I actually jam out to Marilyn Manson. My normal genre of music is transive progressive. I've been an avid listener to that type of genre of music since 1998. And they're just every once in a while, I just jam out to Marilyn or disturbed system of a down, betcha. Good classic hard rock,

Eric:

hard rock edge,

Micah:

Micah. Yes, I have guilty pleasures know which ones I'm willing to admit to. Does alcohol count? No, just kidding. Yeah. Beyond listening to like champagne music, like the Lawrence Welk show style of music. That is a guilty pleasure. I'm 410 years old. Yes, of course. I am quite I think it's my eccentric music tastes like, because it's just really not like mainstream at all. So that's definitely a guilty pleasure that profane amount of video games. Yeah, sure. I'll go with that.

Eric:

I'm an avid Housewives watcher Housewives of every city.

Gil:

For shame.

Eric:

I pretty much actually probably a Bravoholic in a lot of ways. So I watch a lot of Bravo and I love sappy romcoms. I like the movie that makes me cry.

Chris:

That's a good one.

Micah:

So that's, it feels good. Feels

Chris:

Eric has a heart I'm dead inside. So I feel nothing dreams are.

Gil:

Okay. So what has the pandemic taught you?

Eric:

It's my turn again, isn't it.

Gil:

Kick it off again.

Eric:

Pandemic has taught me a few things. Actually it has taught me to be my authentic self and to really try to work on accepting myself for who I am. So it's helped me to learn to hate and loathe myself less and like myself a little bit more and try to get to the love myself part, but I'm still in the, like myself right now. It's taught me too that my time is precious and that I no longer need to work to or live to work, but I need to work to live.

Gil:

Yeah.

Micah:

That's good. Yeah. That's awesome. The pandemic has taught me a lot, I think. Yeah. Firstly that as much as I am an introvert, that does not mean that I am antisocial. I think that it has taught me that I need and crave interaction with people. It's taught me that I don't know how to do a vacation solo. Like every time I've ever done a vacation, it's always been with my friends or to go see my friends or to go see my family, that sort of thing. So it's really taught me that I have some work to do to really look inward and figure out what the things are that really drive pleasure and the things that I want to do for myself. I'm

Eric:

in a similar boat with you

Micah:

on that. Yeah. And it actually has also taught me that I don't like working from home. Full-time. There's this absolute fantasy of Oh God, I don't have to go into the office anymore. That's fantastic. And all that stuff. And it's yeah no.

Eric:

You have to just basically look at your same walls every

Micah:

day. Exactly. And compared to a lot of my coworkers, I'm extraordinarily fortunate that I have an extra bedroom in my house that can function as my office. I've seen far too many like kitchen counters, microwaves, couches, bedrooms, all that stuff on video conference calls. So there's a lot of things that I'm super grateful for, but at the same time, There are certain amounts of like boundaries and things around when work starts versus like work ends with things like commute. Even if I'm taking a bus that is invaluable in a lot of respects because it's a very big delineation between like my work life and my non work personal life. So there's definitely a lot of lessons I've taken away from that. And hopefully I'm not going back into the office until September 7th at the earliest. Which was literally just extended like yesterday or today. So yeah, I'm definitely one of those weirdos that's Oh my God, I can't wait to go back.

Chris:

Take us back to those awkward meetings in person. This is

my

Gil:

presentation.

Eric:

You don't have to wear pants again

Micah:

though. I know. But the sacrifices of that, I suppose maybe if I'm just in my office, when nobody's in there close the door and put on my pajama pants to ease my way in to be work appropriate clothing. I don't know. Okay.

Eric:

Actually be your million dollar idea. Make like work appropriate pajama pants,

Chris:

like the tuxedo

Gil:

pajama kinda

Chris:

Oh, is it okay? My turn,

Micah:

I guess

Chris:

We moved out into our own space again. We lived with the in-laws for a little bit. But this time around the pandemic probably really made me analyze my personal space and how to really invest in certain materials. Cause I, I grew up in more of a house hold that was like, What can I afford was the cheapest was just pure function. So for example, I spent over a hundred dollars on sheets and that was the first time. Oh God, they're amazing. They're like butter on the skin. Great. Yeah. So it was, yeah, it taught me to value my personal space that I have away from work because I am in a retail industry. So I still have to go out and deal with the public, but it really taught me to really look at the value and quality of items that I'm surrounding my house with. Awesome.

Gil:

Has been for me I think it was really just I enjoyed the, furlough time. I'm not going to lie. I really worked on me. And that was nice to slow down life because I felt like before it was just very, almost mundane of. I'm going into the city, I'm going to go to work. I might meet somebody for happy hour and then back home, go to sleep. And it's been like the same kind of routine over and over. And it was a nice break. So for me it was more like, I don't know, I just really valued my own personal growth, in that sense. And just did things that I didn't know how to do. So bake, I kept putting it off for years and I finally baked and then, doing a little practice or physical exercise at home because I hate paying for gym. I just, I don't like to be in a room full of people, but I, I love to work. I like to do my little workout. So it was yeah, that was my time. That's what I was doing. Awesome. Yeah. What it taught me.

Eric:

So what is the sexiest thing or something sexy that has happened to you that most people probably wouldn't find sexy.

Gil:

Oh, that's

Micah:

a hard one.

Gil:

The laugh. So wait one more time. So something that others wouldn't find sexy, but I find sexy. Yes.

Eric:

Like has happened to you. That has happened to you.

Gil:

That's a hard

Micah:

one to say

Gil:

that you wouldn't have an answer.

Micah:

Husband's on the call. I'm sure he's taking notes at this point.

Gil:

Like reanalyzing.

Chris:

I don't know either because every,

Gil:

everything that was normal or I guess not common, it's now normal with, I don't know what that

Chris:

Gil paid the whole bill late

Gil:

the other night. I

Chris:

don't know. I'm sorry. That's a hard

Micah:

one. Yeah. So like it is this just this isn't about just in the pandemic, right? This is just

Eric:

Whenever throughout your life, something that's something that you thought was really sexy or one of the sexiest things that happened to you, but other people probably would not find sexy.

Micah:

Go ahead. I was just thinking because and I might've talked a little bit about like the sex shame that I've been dealing with on the previous episode where I was on, but there's a lot of that I'm still trying to unpack of what really is that sort of to my cores, sexy in a turn on, thing, and not just even like overtly sexual, I make a very distinct difference between something that's sexy versus something that's sexual and like specifically erotic that sort of thing. Absolutely. And I think maybe for me maybe realizing the distinction between that and like being able to harness that sexy energy. In other places, like in realizing that even like in my day-to-day work, even though it has literally nothing to do with like sex as an industry, but there is a certain element of exercising that energy, that sexy energy while doing things that aren't overtly erotic and like recognizing that I think super meta, like very woo answer, but like you, no, it's fine. I think that's probably one of the things that's really surprised me anyway about that. And recognizing that, that energy in other spots, like my passions, like around music and around like gaming and nerd culture and that sort of thing, I think that I don't think anybody would be like ridiculously turned on by video games as a thing, or like somebody sitting down and playing a piano as a sexy thing. But yeah, it really kinda is

Eric:

actually have a fantasy of blowing somebody as they're playing video games.

Micah:

That's awesome. That's great.

Gil:

Micah check.

Micah:

All right. That's super cool. That's super cool that you recognize that. And I think that's absolutely ridiculously sexy. That is like not. Mainstream that's really,

Chris:

that's true. Cause I would be like, ah, I'm trying to kill something. I don't know. I don't know.

Eric:

So for me so everyone knows, I like to dance, I think. Yeah. So I was at a club dancing and I sweat a lot. Like I sweat tons. Like I can solve the New Mexico drought problem with 30 minutes of cardio. And some guy came up, I was on a go-go box and some guy came up to me and just grabbed my face and licked all the sweat off of my face. And I thought that was super hot. Like I was like, damn, that is sexy. I know some people are like all he he licked your sweat. That's so gross. But I was like, I thought that was hot as fuck.

Micah:

That is hot as fuck. Yeah. Wow.

Gil:

Yeah. Here, we'll share a story of Chris. This is in the olden days, so it's not necessarily sexual, but it was a story of he used to tell me. Oh, if you farted in front of your lover

Chris:

erotic,

Gil:

but it's not sexy because what happened is he bent over at Crispin or we're trying to sneak one real quick and then we'll lay it out a hell of a party

Chris:

because I liked, I was like, Oh, he

Gil:

trusts me. And it was very ABO, but other people would be like, Oh, the guy farted. And I was just like, Oh Chris, trust me.

Eric:

There are people with that fetish though.

Micah:

Don't judge. No, you're right.

Gil:

Okay.

Chris:

I don't really have some super erotic moment. Okay. But that's just never really happened to me. Okay. But I can tell you, is that Gil one time tried to fulfill one of my fantasies earlier in, in the relationship. And so I had this fantasy that like, I would come home and, my partner would be in like a jockstrap, just okay. And I'll be like, Oh, totes, ready to go. Let's go. So when I came home and I

Gil:

hear snoring.

Chris:

And I walk over to the bedroom, just thinking nothing of it. And I see him asleep on the bed wearing a jockstrap. Like it wasn't like a, Oh, let's go moment. It was like, Aw, like I woke him up and give him a kiss and then I let him go back to sleep. Maybe another time.

Eric:

Have you guys fulfilled that fantasy since?

Chris:

No, I don't think so. SHocked we never did. Okay. No, we experimented for a while. Different things.

Gil:

Am I supposed to elaborate? Oh no. Sorry.

Chris:

We tried food. If you're going to do whipped cream to light.

Gil:

Yeah. Now I know

Chris:

we got extra heavy whipped cream. Oh yeah.

Eric:

Not sexy at all. I'm not a fan of food. I'm not a fan of food anyways, but I'm not a fan of food and sex.

Micah:

Yeah. That doesn't really do it for me either. Although

Eric:

I will say I do like strawberries and champagne with

Micah:

sex.

Gil:

Okay.

Micah:

But like just drinking it or

Eric:

Pouring it on a person's body and like licking it off or drinking shots.

Micah:

Yeah. Yeah. Got it.

Gil:

I'm slightly.

Chris:

I'm sorry.

Gil:

Okay. So do any of you guys subscribe to. What is this? Oh, F J

Eric:

only fans just for fans or for my

Gil:

fans? No, I have no idea what those I'm

Micah:

like, what is the, or my fans? That's a new one to me. For my fans. Yeah.

Gil:

Oh,

Chris:

Micah's taking notes. What is this website? Is it.com.org.net.

Micah:

That's going to go to the yahoos and go look that one up

Chris:

because nobody uses bing.

Micah:

I was trying to think of an old one.

Chris:

Isn't it just ask.com

Micah:

was that there was one that was asked.com. Yeah. Yeah,

Gil:

my God.

Chris:

Oh, no,

Gil:

sorry. Nope. No.

Micah:

No, I don't have any currently I have though, as a one-time thing, subscribed to some people's just for fans and only fans, but it did not warrant a renewal. Okay. So just, yep. That was it. No, certainly not enough like that. The promise is great, but the fulfillment was not worth the five to 10 or $20 a month that they wanted dollars a month. Oh no. Oh yeah. Some of those bitches wasn't like 25, $30 a month. I was like,

Chris:

no, he just subscribed that for Jonathan Taylor, Thomas, but no, otherwise.

Micah:

Some of these people do not warrant that, like JTT yeah. Chris Evans. Yeah. Probably, but I love him. Yeah.

Gil:

I wouldn't say no that all and

Micah:

subscribe, click.

Eric:

So yeah, I totally subscribe. Mainly I use mainly the only fans platform only because it seems to be the easiest for me to get on my phone, just for fan sometimes makes me jump through weird hoops. Although I did have issues with only fans at one point where every time I would pay for a subscription, it would lock my credit card out and then I'd have to call the bank and get them to reopen my card. And currently I think. Think I'm subscribed to seven or eight only fans pages like paid ones. Yeah. Paid ones. I do agree though. There's a lot of people who don't warrant that price tag, but the ones I subscribed to are usually like five to $10. And most amateur people on there. Their stuff is whack. Your professional porn stars. Their stuff is pretty great at like rivals studio porn. And some of it's like an hour long and I'm like, Oh yeah, you got to Cum six times

Micah:

lucky you it's do you subscribe to those? If I can. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Do you subscribe to them because you like their PR like providing a good amount of content all the time like that? Or are you subscribing because it gives the artist directly some of that money what's your actually

Eric:

both. Okay. So last season we had Nick Capra and Sean Zevran on our shows on our podcast. And so I subscribed to both of them and Sean, I don't think has he hasn't put out a whole lot of content lately. Cause he's been doing a lot of social justice work and stuff, but I still subscribe to his page just to help put some money in there. Cause I believe in his causes, Nick Capra has been really awesome. So that he's been supportive of. This podcast and also have my t-shirt line. So I support him for that and they put out hot content. Don't get me wrong, but that's not the driving force with that. Rhyheim Shabaz, he puts off some amazing content. So does Jay Alexander and I subscribed to them just cause they have amazing Filipinho Souzza who's from Brazil. He's like right now, my big crush

Micah:

and men are hot, so yeah, they are.

Eric:

And it's I have a couple, I have a couple probably questionable ones. Like I have one with two brothers that do stuff together yes, I know Chris. That actually leads me to a question that I think I'll ask on the next go round. Maybe but then I've also done like some amateur people that I've talked to online or something that are like, Oh, I'm starting a just for fans page or an only fans page. And so I go, I'm like, okay, cool. I'll subscribe to it. And it's 10 to 15 seconds, like clips. And I'm like, okay,

Micah:

all right. Yeah, there are a couple of those types have, then subsequently sent the messages where you can unlock a single video for 10 or 15 bucks. And I'm like, no, it's not a thing. I agree. Is there a difference between if given the opportunity, because you want to support these folks with, if they give you an opportunity just to send money via PayPal or like spending on those lines, would you do that versus using the platform that's taking a cut out of it? If it's, or

Eric:

That's a good idea. I'm not opposed to doing that. I don't, I haven't pursued that Avenue, but if they were like, Hey, rather than subscribing to my only fans, will you Venmo me your monthly subscription? I'd probably be down for that too. Not everyone that I've subscribed to though. Just a couple, correct.

Micah:

Oh, sure. Cause that's like just handing the money, like

Gil:

get me get

Micah:

cool. Interesting.

Eric:

Awesome. Yeah, I think I'm going to ask a question. That's actually not on the list.

Gil:

Cleaning off the wine is talking.

Eric:

So here's my question. And I hope this, I hope I can phrase this, right? So we were just talking about the brothers thing. And Chris had this horrified look on his face. So is incest in the gay world bad because incest is typically bad because of reproduction and there can be genetic mutations more easily. But when you have people who are not actually going to reproduce, is it necessarily a bad thing, I know it's a highly fetishized thing in some circles. What's your take on that

Gil:

is

Chris:

aimed towards the

Eric:

no that's same part of the whole group. Okay. I know I use you as an example of Chris, just cause you have that look on your face,

Chris:

understand the sibling fetish kind of thing. I just don't like to me that that's family, like even like distant cousins, that would just still be a little I don't know, but obviously I'm speaking on my, a personal preference thing. Like I know it's a thing that's out there. I just don't fully see that. Or even like the stepdad Oh, my stepdad bred me. I don't understand that. I'm like, how is that sexy or erotic too? I don't fully get that. But I do know it's a thing and it's probably a little bit more. Accepted in the gay community or in the alphabet mafia community? The, he know you see some guys who literally date someone who looks exactly like them. It might be a sidestep to that.

Gil:

If that makes sense.

Eric:

Should it be illegal? Sorry. I'm like asking another question. Cause incest is illegal, but it should like same sex incest be illegal.

Chris:

Like what you, what do you mean?

Eric:

Should it be illegal for two brothers to be having sex with each other? Because there's not going to be any reproduction.

Chris:

Yes. I'm going to say yes. Okay. Cause it's still incest.

Eric:

Okay. So you have an issue with incest in general,

Chris:

you just incessant chat. Okay. Even if it was like, even like a stepdad or like a step sibling, that's still doesn't sit on. I guess I'm a little bit more traditional on that. It just doesn't settle.

Gil:

Okay. Yeah. It's very British for me. I'm not, I don't know. I'm I don't know. It's just, it is what it is, but then again, like if that would make you happy, it's none of my business either. And that's just the way I am about it. Because especially like it's small, I say small States and the communities where I feel like when I was in Albuquerque, it was a good chance. Somebody was my cousin at that point. Potentially I dunno, it just it's. That's an interesting question, especially within the gay community, because it's almost like what the consent or learned in New Mexico with the consent for a gay male is 15 versus a consent for 16, eight straight male with a female it's yeah. It's a lot higher where consent begins. I think things are always treated differently because it's a male and that could be come the masculinity, issue or, that kind of how we treat males differently with that regard, especially when they, Oh, it's, guys being guys, but for me, mind your business. So if you find sleeping with you, it's not my problem kind of thing. As long as it's consensual.

Micah:

Yeah. What an interesting question. And even a sub-question of that I think a lot of those laws were, there's a couple of sources of, like the root of those are around avoiding, reproductive issues, and there's been some documentaries and things around how that can go horribly wrong, and so that, like the genetics and the science aside I think there's the other root of that is some of the, like the puritanical sort of regulation of sex. That's just pervasive in the U S generally speaking and driven a lot by, religious beliefs, especially early settler beliefs and things that are just extraordinarily pervasive beyond that. I think if there is. Because there isn't any risk of any sort of like genetic issues that are going on with two men or two women doing that. Then I believe it falls into the sort of moral issue, like individual values, individual morals space. And that really does come down to the consent factor because I think a lot of stuff, a lot of sexual acts in the views of society and religion at large are considered taboo and off limits for a variety of reasons. Like anything beyond pretty plain vanilla missionary style sex in the Mormon culture is verboten. So like that kind of rules out an awful lot of that to begin with, regardless of whether what implications that has with families and that sort of thing. So I think if there's consent involved, And there's some exploration. I think that can be healthy and that can be within the realm of consent within those two individuals. I think there's a difference between the fetish component of like daddy son sort of stuff like in this sort of overlay, overarching BDSM world and kink world that is like that, stepdad bred, me, example that we used earlier. But that doesn't necessarily mean that an actual step dad is going to be that, there's an element of fantasy. And then there's the element of playing out the sort of kink sort of thing. Cause like I'm definitely in that age space where I put on that daddy look and role at this point in my life. And I'm okay with that. If somebody wants to call me daddy and Have that fantasy, like fine. Yeah. Let's, let's lean into that and see, but it's not going to cross the, some sort of like moral crisis within if it was actually like, and some of my cousins and that like second or third separation, like some of my first cousins really aren't all that attractive and there's not a lot of males either. So there's that, but some of them are reasonably attractive, like who's to say, there's, if there's consent and part of that, like who's to say that is quote unquote wrong, is that my, is that sourcing from my religion? Is that source from like the cultural values that I grew up with. The same ones that. You we're like my grandfather was flying a Confederate flag on his boat. Is that the same sort of source of the values I'm going to be looking at? That does call into that question. I think it just the point being for the super long answer is that it's extraordinarily nuanced. Yeah. And there isn't a hard yes or no right or wrong sort of thing because that's the trap that we always fall into, especially when it comes to the sex. Yeah. And so so maybe certain cases of incest may not necessarily should be criminalized. I think that might be worth some revisiting, but the society has proven time and time again, that nuanced conversations around that sort of thing are fucking impossible. And so I don't expect that there's going to be any shift in that sort of perspective at all, going forward. Cool.

Eric:

Thanks. I don't mind the long answer, actually. I like it. I actually tend to probably agree with you. I do know of some people who just through the pandemic, weren't getting any and they, the brother was like, Hey, like I've seen you before. And I thought you were cute. So they just pass the time to do that stuff. And others were like, Hey, no one else understands me, but this person I know they love me. And it's consensual and I'm not one to judge on that. So yeah, I think everything you just said, Micah pretty much fits into what I would think. So there's no reason for me to reiterate what you just said.

Gil:

So what are our thoughts on cancel culture really kick us off?

Eric:

I think people are blowing it out of proportion. I think it's more accountability culture. I think people are just being held accountable for the shitty things they've said and, or done. I do think people can learn and I'm I've fallen into the trap of Oh my God, just take them down. And I've had to be like, you know what? They we could take a learning opportunity here and there too, but there's certain things that I think, no, you're just being held accountable. And then when. Certain companies or certain people find something that they've done problematic and they decided to stop doing it. It's not cancel culture. they've grown and realize that it was probably not in the best interest for themselves, our society. And we're not going to do that anymore. Yeah I don't really think cancel culture is a thing. I think it's right-wing extremists or Republicans or what I call gops now for GOPs. To me that's a very demeaning term. Then basically just trying to cry and throw a fit and a tantrum and have their way and be like, they are trying to silence us and take our rights away. And I'm like, no, one's doing that. You can still say whatever the fuck you want to say, just your words have consequences. And that's basically what I feel about that. They weren't crying when they canceled the Dixie chicks. Yeah, they weren't crying when they canceled Kaepernick, so they can all go suck their own toes. I'm not going to say suck a Dick because that's rewarding them.

Gil:

Okay.

Micah:

So I think the cancel culture thing has gotten a little out of hand. Like most things tend to do. I don't. I think that, yes, there is a certain element of that on the conservative Republican side of it, for sure. But I also think that's a problem that is shared by the left and the liberal side of it too. Where I think the, even to the previous question, a little bit around the nuance around it it's that separating the artists from the art, and if people like curators of museums and things are looking at pieces of art to display, are they going to look at the quality and the piece of the art that is presented in front of them? Or does it warrant looking into the background and the character of the artist as well as the quality or what they're trying to do and speak to towards them towards their art. And I would imagine that a lot of those questions are no, that they're not, they're just really looking at the piece of artwork or the set that they're trying to do and what it is that they're trying to say. That's what art museums and things like that are for. But I also realized that for some, it's a very fine balance between what motivates those individuals, whether it is physical, visual art, or whether it's music or whether it is, some other piece of that. And even if it does, if it's harder to separate the individual from the thing that they're doing, like if it is a politician or if it's a public figure of any flavor then I realized the conversation gets fairly complicated pretty quickly. Especially given. A society really struggles with having nuanced conversations about pretty much anything that is on this planet right now. We can't even agree holistically that getting a vaccine for COVID-19 is a good thing or not there's still a debate out there though that's still an arguable thing. So I think that cancel culture, I think as a, I think it needs to evolve what was said before around maybe looking at sort of accountability around what people, you should suffer consequences from your actions, but you should also be afforded the ability to grow and learn from those sorts of things. The current cancel culture that exists from both the left and the right from those perspectives are particularly damaging. And I just don't think that gives the room for people to be able to make amends for their errors, and I think that's just something beyond the religious sort of, principles of forgiveness and all that. I think that does a great disservice to a lot of people that suddenly somebody is completely offline. Because of that. Now, if we're talking about cancel in the form of certain former presidents of the United States that have gotten their accounts removed and are no longer able to be on social media, that's probably a more appropriate thing. If you're out inciting violence, just know asterisk, let's just put that off, like as a broad term. Yeah. You probably deserve to get fucking canceled, but like somebody who you know is like a simple accusation. Just the accusation and that like completely upend is your career, your life, your family, all that stuff that really flies in the face of a founding principle of this country of innocent until proven guilty, that really flips it on its edge. It's like guilty until proven innocent. And I really don't believe in that. I, and I'm a little sensitive to that personally, because I've been on the receiving end of false accusations for political motivations and that if I had gotten canceled, which I sorted it in that ran in my particular case just a little bit, this is before it was like a really big to do. There was a huge risk of me losing a metric fuck ton of work that I'd done to build my life over an accusation that was patently untrue. And even the person that people were putting up as the victim said, he literally never did that. So the idea that people need to have their say and be able to talk talk to their piece and prove their the guilt needs to be proven versus the innocence needed to be proven is a really fundamental thing. Okay.

Gil:

Put,

Chris:

how can I

Gil:

follow that?

Chris:

Would, the S everybody the newer generation, like slowly moving over to just streaming, would that be cancel culture in a way?

Micah:

How do you mean,

Chris:

Cause are like millennials and, some X-ers and stuff like that. The majority of us. Don't watch TV with like commercials. We prefer to get our viewing at our own leisure at our own time. And with no commercials, would that be cancel culture in a way to think of it? Abstractly? Cause like it's canceling, stream public television in a way.

Micah:

No, I can see that line. I can see it.

Chris:

I like, I, cause I'm not like super political, so I don't really follow a lot of the Oh cancel culture politically, would that be considered. That's a genuine question. Cause I'm not really, I think

Eric:

you can make an argument

Micah:

for it.

Gil:

You're a part of the, our generation that is pretty much killing or as they. The older people in say killing off everything from the past to going from brick and mortar to the way cable networks used to run a VHS, we created, the digital platform pretty murdered the DVD or yeah. Stuff like that. You could say possibly, but yeah,

Micah:

even if it's like canceling ads, as a thing, i, yeah, I'm okay with that. Personally just, Hey, I fucking hate ads, stupid. They're contrived. Like it's just ridiculous and sure. I will pay two or $3 extra a month to not get advertised to, because that's really in the end. What they're trying to get me to do is to spend that two or $3 on their bullshit milk of magnesium product or whatever the fuck it is. They're trying to peddle to me like,

Gil:

It's like how YouTube, I'm trying to watch a two minute music video and there's 16 ads and I'm like, Oh my God, every 16, four seconds, I have an ad going on now. Versus before. Yeah. So hopefully that did help you a little bit.

Chris:

Yeah.

Gil:

Thank you. Yeah no. For me like cancel culture politically. It's definitely agree with you guys. It's the accountability piece? The only thing I always get very cautious with is that, being on the left, we're always looking for the most altruistic person possible. And as soon as they have you found any dirt on them, even they did it in error 40 years ago, then it suddenly hang up, you don't burn the witch. And I'm like, Oh my God, no, no people grew from that point. And I think that's something that we need to be very mindful coming from that, side where we want to burn everything immediately without any, I dunno. Yeah, I got some too. It also, because I think it's part of, you grow as a person, the more information that comes out, then you become a little bit more worldly about it. They're like, Oh, I make a better judgment now than I did. Okay. Hillary Clinton, she voted Oh immediately. Yeah. Was

Chris:

voting a little bit more conservative. Conservatively earlier. And then now she's she was a Republican in

Gil:

the seventies, but so was most of America

Micah:

purest that the purity test of the politicians on the left is repugnant. Really? Yeah.

Gil:

Because that's what they were pretty much arguing with. I could give you a green deal. I can give you green deal and free tuition. No, I could do this plus clean water read every, but I'm like, okay, so who's going to win

here.

Micah:

Yeah. And please show me the first person on this planet that when they were 14, 15 or 16 years old, she do some dumb fucking thing that they haven't since grown from because that was 30 years ago in their life. Please cast that goddamn stone out of your glass house. Seriously.

Gil:

It's true. It's true. I'm looking at myself like, as an when I was 18. Like God damn Gil. You're so stupid. What the hell? Like you, why didn't you do X, Y, Z. And I'm like, Oh yeah, I agree. Or the shit like said or thought I'm like, I was naive. Yeah. Naive as fuck. Oh, by look. Am I glad that they're changing? Let's say the Washington football team. Yes. There's a native American. That's her fucking logo outright. Do not change that. Or the Cleveland Indians or you have the it'll finally Stanford change in the seventies being a Bay area, university hello

Eric:

you just passed a lot. They can tear down like the Robert E. Lee statue and some of those statutes.

Gil:

Damn time. Good. Like that kind of stuff. Absolutely. That just makes sense. Or just growing up, we grew up with Looney tunes with speedy Gonzales. That would not fly now, obviously. Yeah, no, that makes sense. If you're watching some of the old cartoons, are there or does it, especially with the war era ones with an Asian they're teasing Asian looks and stuff like that for Vietnamese Charlie's. Yeah, sure, absolutely. I understand that.

Chris:

Mickey Rooney didn't he play like a very stereotypical Asian.

Gil:

There's

Micah:

so many people that played stereotypical Asians and did blackface, like the forties and yes, by today's standards, that's like repugnant. That's not the same standard that we had as a society back then. No text matters context. does matter.

Chris:

Oh yeah. Gil and I watched like a British comedy called are you being served?

Gil:

Oh yeah.

Chris:

It's hilarious. It's amazing show, but it's a very product of much of its time because a lot of that shit would have been an HR issue, like constantly all this sexual harassment and all that stuff, it was like, Oh my God.

Gil:

Yeah. Oh yeah. It's like a lawyer's wet dream. And that

Chris:

she completely deny that they exist. Does not necessarily show how much we have progressed since,

Micah:

And like maybe the statues, that are Robert E. Lee and that sort of thing in Virginia need to come down. But that doesn't mean that they all need to be melted down and never spoken of again. It's no, you need to have some sample belong in a museum somewhere. They belong in the

Chris:

history books.

Eric:

History is meant to be learning it. Isn't not all history is meant to be celebrated though.

Micah:

Correct? Sure. Yes. And there's a big difference between that. And again, it goes back to that nuance of what people can like the sort of yes or no, black and white, Republican Democrat, good evil, all that stuff. It's it's either the switch is either on or off, but there's all this room in between. And it's if you you can pave all of that stuff down. But then like still recognize that the Capitol building in Virginia was the fucking headquarters of the Confederacy. Like you can't pave over that one or you shouldn't like, or do we just white out that one, or, whatever the

Chris:

Germans fully acknowledged and took full responsibility for, world war, the Nazi era, they took full responsibility and us as Americans, I believe that we don't take full responsibility. We just okay, like we just fudge things over, Oh, this is how it was like, quote unquote was, it's for the sake

Gil:

of her unity is what I always come down to

Micah:

bullshit anyway. But

Chris:

like granted, Germany, it's taken very many years to get to the, where they have progressive. They are now, but. But they, there is a difference between how Americans handle history versus the rest of the world. But we're also a newer country that we haven't had that experience yet. That level of experience or years behind us.

Gil:

That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.

Eric:

So what is something you do to make yourself feel better?

Chris:

Maybe she's worth it. Maybe it's Maybelline.

Gil:

I like to take personal little trips to either a new restaurants or go to the beach to level-set or buy some happiness online that's for me, like how to make me feel a little bit better. but I also like to reach out to friends and really just have that one, especially since the pandemic happened, like the phone calls. And I just take that as like my, I don't know, filling my soul kind of thing with that. I don't know how to explain it, but that's another way to make me feel a little bit better. It's like the connection

Chris:

talking to my sisters. Awesome. I am extremely close to my older sisters. I am the baby. The youngest and I normally reach out to them for like words of encouragement. And other than, my, my lovely husband, but there's a level of comfort that comes from a, my sisters that only a relative can give me because Gil can comfort me in very many different ways, but you also need a third outlet, to get that comfort or to be socialized because I may not have that quote unquote, like B, F that I hang out like every day of my life or, but I do have my sisters that I constantly call or text message or video chat.

Micah:

I think for me there's, I'll talk about it. Pre COVID and current so pre COVID was like random trips to the spa, like going to one of those like foot spa places that I could just, go and no appointment necessary. Just show up, just get my feet worked for a while. And often that was also meant, the rest of my body and other pressure points and stuff, worked on It would be going and getting like a mani/pedi would be going like, and getting some of my favorite food. One of my favorite restaurants with some of my favorite waitress folks and like just, enjoying and treating myself that a lot of that stuff, obviously during COVID like the last year has definitely not been a thing. So it's been a little creative around like creating a spot in my home, like soaking in the tub for a while, or like diving into some video games online with friends, FaceTime calls with people, connecting, like doing stuff like this, like getting in, just beyond the recording aspect of this just the chat, and the sort of talking about stuff. Yeah and then going to just. Trying to get outside and go do some fresh air. Since I live near the coast, I love going down to one of the waterfront parks. And even if I'm not just getting outside, like just rolling down all the windows in my car and just taking in the salt water air, listening to the ferry, come in, listening to a train, come by like that the sounds of home, the sounds of like comfort and root, like that sort of thing. So those are some of the things that I do.

Eric:

I guess pre COVID. I love retail therapy, but

Gil:

obviously we all do. I still do,

Micah:

but a hundred percent

Eric:

I guess for me, I've lately, especially lately I'm really into sexy underwear. Like I buy a lot of jock straps. So when you mentioned that earlier, I just laugh and I have a lot of thongs and stuff like that. And so I love going to the gym and so I wear them to the gym and it just makes me feel sexy and it makes me feel better about myself and everything else. Oh, I like to go bike riding too and stuff like that. But yeah, I like to wear my jockstraps or my age G strings are my thongs to the gym and I'm like, Oh, my pants are sliding down. Ha. Then pick them back up. You see this coming up

Micah:

in other news, Eric is going to start is onlyfans soon. Oh wait, I would probably have to

Eric:

pay people to join. So

Micah:

now

Chris:

I'll just Venmo you money and just be like, here's a dollar. Get yourself some pretty.

Micah:

It's funny. You mentioned that because there was the first period of the pandemic where I was working from home and I'm like, Oh fuck it. I'm just going to put on like a plain t-shirt and stay in like my lounge pants and something like that. And after a while I transitioned into Oh, I think yeah, I can feel normal and feel sexy by wearing. Normal clothes like that I would wear out and about like actually putting on underwear or something along those lines, it was like, Oh yeah, that's right. All the way up to my man, boobs, like proper moobs. But even just that simple act, brings a little bit of normalcy to things and then you feel the fabric and you feel those sorts of things and it's kinda Oh yeah okay. Yeah, I'm good with that. Yeah, totally relate. Awesome.

Gil:

Okay. So what is your opinion on people being outed by

Micah:

others? I am

Eric:

vehemently against it. I hate it. It pisses me off. It is no one else's business and people should come out when they are ready when it is their time. And you are basically stealing something from them, you're stealing a personal part of them, something that is dear to them. And I have absolutely no respect for it. There is no forgiveness for it. Fuck you. If you are outing somebody.

Chris:

I agree. I wholeheartedly agree. And people that are with people who are not ready to come out should not force their spouse or partner or to come out like that is something that they need to do in their own time.

Micah:

Agreed. Yep. It's even worse when you're doing, I think the only way that can get worse as if it's like some privileged white person doing it to a, another marginalized community, that's like they're outing somebody else or like trying to make a joke or make light out of it or something like that. That's like extra, not cool. Like that's, you're robbing that person of their journey, their story, their consent yeah. There's so much that you're just like forcibly removing from that other individual and yeah, that's just hundred percent not. Okay. And I think what's even worse is the other people that are around them that allow and enable that behavior. If they're not called out on that shit, like right then and there, or pulled aside and be like, dude, that's not fucking right. Cool. Absolutely. That's even fucking worse.

Gil:

Yeah, 100 what's special with, within our community. Like we're all one, technically close knitted family. And we all go through pretty much that same experience of scared, scariness coming out. We all know how it is, so why the fuck would it be any different for somebody else? Even if they, they are gay or whatever they are, but that's not our call that we, that's just not our place to be to doing it. We can help them guide them and them. No welcome baskets on their doorstep. And yes, honey, you take it same time. Really. It's still not our technical place, but we'll be welcoming them because we know what's happening.

Chris:

Yeah. We have a few family members that I'm just patiently waiting for that lovely little Hey, by the way, I'm gay. They're like totes knew it, but here you go.

Gil:

This surprise still is

Chris:

really straight,

Gil:

really.

Eric:

What are your pronouns and how do you identify?

Gil:

Oh, that's a good one. That's a new actually, it's interesting. I heard from my work that we're going to be getting there be able to add that toward name badges so that people will yeah, I know. Yeah. But for me, it's identify as him. He, him his. Yeah. Yes. That's it. There you go.

Chris:

Although my voice may sound contrary to it,

Gil:

but

Chris:

I was born at birth as a male and I identify as a male. So my pronouns are he him?

Gil:

His.

Micah:

So identity, I identify as a cisgender gay male and my pronouns are he him and his and I was assigned male at birth. And I am actually pretty proud of to Gil your point, like putting your pronouns on your name. Badge is like at the Microsoft has really stepped up with like self ID in a lot of countries now. And there are lots of options. We have ways in which, on your name and your display name and your, and the address book and on emails and that sort of thing to actually put your pronouns after your name to identify your pronouns as you see fit. And I've seen quite the variety and I absolutely love it every fucking time.

Gil:

That's great. It's eye opening for us too, because I don't know, like at work we have people's legal names, but what to me, whatever, what's the need that you go by. So we have a few people in transition legally, if you want to be illegal or not, and I've gone into a huge argument with the manager about this, and I'm like, their name is not that they go by this other name. They are, identifies a female. That's who they are. And I went to HR about it. Cause the first time I'm like, yeah, Are you fucking kidding me with this stop calling them by their other name.

Micah:

Yeah, they're dead name, their dead name. It doesn't exist right there in the HR systems that I've seen at Microsoft, there is a distinction between a legal name versus a preferred name. So even if the legal paperwork and all of the legal nonsense that has to happen for somebody to fully transitioned into their proper identity and chosen names from a legal perspective that can still be in the system to be, nine by nine and everything. But then the address book, titles, your login names, all that fun stuff. Won't have any of your dead name paste pieces in there. And they'll completely respect that, as you reach out to HR and make those sort of things. Yeah, it's super cool. The progress that's there.

Chris:

My job. I actually had a coworker recently tell me that he is trench gendered. And the first thing I asked him, it was like thank you. Firstly, I told him, thank you for sharing that with me. Thank you for, being so comfortable with me enough that you can come out to me, but what is your PR what's your pronouns? He said for now, just he and him. But he hasn't fully made up his mind yet. And I felt that working for privacy reasons, I will not disclose where I work, but Where I work is very progressive. It's a very progressive, and I'm there for a while they were passing out what are your pronouns? What are this? Like they had them like on this bulletin board and you can just grab one where if you want, you're not forced to, you can, if you want. And I feel like, I felt like that allowing such as Microsoft, adding giving their associates or employees, the option is very much progression that we have taken in the right direction

Gil:

for our community.

Eric:

I'm cisgender male. I actually go by, he him, his, but I also go by, they them, their because I have no issue with gender neutrality. So

Micah:

it's interesting. Cause there's some parts of me that like, as I've been studying some of the same concepts, you had Ed Swaya on a recent guest and some of that sort of tantric sort of space that he talked about on his episode, around the inner sort of masculine and feminine concepts that are throughout his book and that sort of thing. There's even been some moments of okay, so maybe it's not as binary. Even for me, even though I'm like ridiculously obvious male, presenting and sounding and all that fun stuff. There are some elements to me that probably are more about the they them than there are about the strict binary of he him.

Gil:

I was going to say like a normal conversation, what the rest of the gayborhood. So when you're out and about, we use a lot of gender, I feel like gender neutral terms anyways, or normally in a female tents. That's true. For the most part, it's only like when you're at work, then suddenly it's sir. Yeah. That's an interesting, yeah, that's very true. So have you guys been in love, have you have you had your heart broken? Are you dead inside? Do not dare look that way.

Eric:

I guess this is my answer first time. I've actually probably never been in love. I've been infatuated. I've been in lust, but I don't think I've actually ever been in love. I've been single pretty much my whole life. Yay. Yeah, I'm pretty, I'm, it's weird. Cause I'm like, I'm a hopeless romantic, but I'm also like super cynical now. So I don't know. That's

Gil:

yeah. True millennial

Micah:

millennials. Are you Eric? No, just I am,

Gil:

you're close enough.

Eric:

According to Gil, I'm like an alpha, but cause he's only seven, but

Chris:

Some of the terms you do say are

Gil:

more hip than I know he's already drinking. His white claw has, it's laid out jeans, a light gen Z here. Okay.

Micah:

I think that's required in order to do a podcast these days, it's gotta be hip with the things and not looking at the

Gil:

radio.

Eric:

Yeah. You have to have your hand on the pulse of the young ones. Yeah.

Micah:

So to say only

Chris:

to suck their blood for their youth,

Gil:

or when

Eric:

they're over 18, you can select something else. But yeah.

Micah:

I've already forgotten the question. Have you ever been in love, I've been in love

Eric:

how'd your heartbreak broken or,

Micah:

Yeah. Yeah, both. I think there's I think I currently am in love, but Oh,

Chris:

the kids,

Micah:

yeah, really complicated as most things like this are, I don't know if it's an unrequited love or not. But. This person, I have a great deal of affection for, and I swear that if he ever made any rumors of being open to getting married, he's probably the only person on the planet that I would ever marry period. And would likely drop God damn near everything and go and take care of that. Have you

Chris:

professed this to this person?

Micah:

No. Not in, not direct sort of way. Oh no,

Chris:

no, you directly, so you have not because I can tell you some people don't get hits.

Micah:

Yeah. I would absolutely agree with that. I am one of the most clueless people when I, when people are hitting on me and I'm just like completely fucking oblivious to that sort of thing. But I'm also. Absolutely. And completely terrified of getting my heart completely fucking wrecked if I get rejected by that. So I am trying my best to curb that enthusiasm, no pun intended to the feel of the show, but like just, I'm trying to make sure that I approach it in a way that this individual will receive the message. Okay. You're also not

Chris:

22, you can't just say let's suck face, that's just not a thing. Yeah. As you get older, you're more like, Oh, you think more is strategically.

Micah:

Correct. I'm assuming in, like when you ask the question about being in love, it's about that sort of romantic sort of like picture as kind of Disney, like like end of the movie Cinderella has the other slipper, love that storybook, as it were and. Maybe the jaded part of me is just like that. That's for me, that's nonsense because the there's a reason why the movies always end at the wedding. It literally never shows the hard part, the comes after that stops there. So the end let's just pretend like none of the difficult years show up afterwards. Yeah. That's a whole nother podcast with Chris and Gil later. But yeah, we have

Gil:

never felt difficult. Everything,

Chris:

no need to sound like a robot,

Micah:

but yeah, I've suffered disappointment. Definitely when, like I'm really into somebody and they're just like, Oh my God, I'm not in a good space to do any of this thing or something. And just Oh my God, there's part of that. That's just there's, it's, I'm crestfallen a little bit, but it's not like I can't get out of bed for five days sort of thing. Now with this other person that I was talking about, if he wholesale rejected me, that's going to sting and that's going to hurt for a minute. But the reality of how that would come together would be difficult because he lives in a different state. And then me,

Eric:

yeah. Yeah. I just really quickly, I know I already went, but yeah, like I've definitely had my share of disappointment and I don't want to say full on heartbreaks. I've never been in love, but I've definitely had the disappointment and the let downs and like me building everything up and then them just like saying, Oh, peace out or ghosting me or whatever. And it's actually a base of the basis of a lot of what my book was though.

Micah:

Yeah,

Gil:

my

Chris:

turn I get. Okay.

Eric:

I hope you've been in love at least once

Chris:

I am currently in love being married to. Mr. Gil, Mr. handsome pants, but I have had a first love act and a heartbreak. The first

Gil:

he said

Chris:

he never seen a man.

Micah:

I'm just going to mute for a hot second and let this thing play itself out. Suddenly we turned to

Gil:

Jerry Springer,

Chris:

every single relationship up until Gil I was cheated on. There was a lot of ups and downs and heartbreaks. I can tell you my first love. It was my first boyfriend and now that's my other husband. He's unaware. We're married in my head, my first love he probably doesn't listen to this. I'm not going to say his full name, but his name is Christian. Like at first I didn't, I dated him just because a lot of the people at school were like, Oh, you should date him. He's the cutest gay boy in school and all that stuff. And then I started dating him and then eventually I start, I found myself falling in love with him, and then I found it out. He cheated on me and then I was like, okay, fuck you, bitch. Buy me some Legos. I legit did made him, I made him buy me. legos, cause he, I found out he cheated on me, but anyways but there was a lot of ups and downs, but it took time. And thanks to my Yenta, in this tea time, Mr. Eric playing a huge part of my relationship. I'm in love, and I love him so hard.

Micah:

And it's like a

Eric:

second

Micah:

now,

Chris:

but our marriage is not 100 every day. Go cheesy, go lucky. It's constant. It's constant work. A lot of stresses because he's a backseat driver,

Gil:

but it assistance

Micah:

to find the right medication to keep him the car going forward.

Gil:

I think I need to get

Chris:

him like some like a Palm pilot or something. He'd be like, okay, you want to be an assistant? Oh, wait palm pilots don't exist anymore.

Gil:

Oh, Lord

Chris:

was past the Trojan war. No, thanks.

Gil:

Husband. Oh, let's see. I've only had only one relationship ever. So

Chris:

you were a make-out whore.

Gil:

I'm testing the waters and there's no poison out there. I could tell you. Let's see, Eric seen me through my through my little hot mess situation many now, many moons ago. Even though it's a test. It feels like yesterday. I feel so old

Micah:

Tommy way

Eric:

back then. Eric's one who set this up. Okay.

Gil:

You instrumental Eric? Yeah. Like it was that one, I don't really think it was necessarily love. It was more like that. You're there, the kind of the time together and has got Oh, and this is how it's going to crumble kind of thing out of everything. Especially if you're gonna leave me for somebody better looking. So I felt like threatened, not so much words worst. And I'm like, what the fuck? Then? That's awkward for me. My ego got hit a little bit with that. And I've had some disappointments also in some of them, I feel like at the time seemed like disappointments, but ended up being dodging a bullet. And some also I look

Micah:

back on relate to that at all. Yeah.

Gil:

Yeah. And I think that's why this relation, when it got through the relationship with Chris and was already expecting it to fail. And I think it took me years to open up. When I finally started opening up, then I'm like, Oh, everything could run smoother. Now, instead of me already, like years, we got married people. I, so I proceed with marriage as a caution because I, coming out of a my, my parents divorced when I was younger and I saw the pain of both parties that I really did not want to subject myself to that, because that to me was the worst thing. I would rather have many relationships boyfriends and things fall apart, but I would not have a failed marriage and was one of my, it scares the hell out of me, but otherwise see other people becoming Elizabeth Taylor and going Oh, this is my ninth marriage. And I'm like, it's you get a free meal marriage after that? Like I confused. caution. And I, with that extra, I dunno, it's just value. So that to me was a big thing. With that. That's why it took me so long. And I kept saying, wait California accepts that. And also California did it. Washington did it. You've asked to go. I kept trapping me. I had patience did.

Chris:

A lot of patience, the railed now knows I've had a lot of patience with this.

Micah:

Oh. Especially the guy that's never before marriage, right? Yeah. He fucking lies

Chris:

be what the Catholics

Gil:

call a harlot.

Micah:

I just don't. I think I was legit in love with my ex, like when we were together for two and a half years. And I think in the beginning, like there was definitely some love and affection that was there, but like that shifted, and like to the point you made Gil earlier about like dodging bullets. Like I think both of you well know the Armada of bullets dodged. Yeah. Let's just

Chris:

say that there was a mini mafia just being ready to be activated.

Micah:

Correct. Just a couple of certain phrases and things would have been a little different, but I'm like, and it's fine. Like it was an amicable parting, but it was a really interesting to witness myself getting into that space of where I'm pretty sure I loved him, but then there was a period of time where it was just like, you're a really like decent human, but this context in which we're doing this thing is just not for us. Like we're not there. And part of that was the marriage conversation too. He dated for the purpose of marrying, he dated for the purpose of I want that picturesque Disney wedding, and it's I don't even fucking know if I want to get married. Like I just don't know. But yeah. You consider him your first love? No. Okay. Nope. I can good

Chris:

speaking as your personal friend,

Gil:

he

Chris:

does not deserve that title.

Gil:

I wanted to make sure.

Micah:

Yeah. If I said that, I'm sure I would get a flurry of texts after this recording ended of fucking really cool. We

Gil:

all get that

Micah:

one on one. That's not, I'm not playing that card on this round. That's not a thing anyway.

Eric:

What is your relationship with or your thoughts on the words like bussy and mussy and mangina and guygina,

Gil:

Funny story with that, because the first time I heard bussy it's when I Chris and I were visiting Irene in Las Vegas and she made the comment about that as you're like, Oh my God, my bussy was to be tore up. What the hell is that? What did she have to exceed? I had

Chris:

no idea what the hell is that? It sounds so

Gil:

dirty. I was like, what? Where did I miss this?

Chris:

It's entertaining. It's more entertaining than offensive to me. Yeah. It's just that's hilarious.

Gil:

It doesn't sound as offensive, like vagina, if it was that just sounds vulgar.

Chris:

That's a

Gil:

gay man.

Chris:

No, I have no problem with them. I just think they're more funny than anything. Cause really who sits there and just thinks, how can I make a butthole sound like a woman's vagina? Why don't you just play around with the letters? Just like bussy mangina just more

Gil:

humorous.

Micah:

Those words literally do nothing for me. Like it just seems silly and ridiculous. Like I, I see those occasionally on certain Twitter feeds that I follow and like probably mine neither confirm or deny nor deny that. I don't even

Eric:

know if you follow my Twitter. I

Micah:

don't know if I do either. But like it, I don't know, like it just there's part of me. That's like why would you, like, why are you saying that? Are you trying to be sexy? Because for me that's like nope. But for some, maybe, that works for them and it's cool. If that works for you, you do you, but that's not for me. There's also a part of me that is, there is a part of me that is slightly bothered with those terms, because I feel like there's a certain misogynistic sort of implement implication of those, of I'm going to wreck that pussy, and and this powerful rapey dominating sort of energy that comes along with that. And maybe that person's into it, but really in the end for me, I feel like I like it because it does nothing. I'm not that passionate about it, but there's a little bit of me that is aware that maybe that it has a slight amount of toxicity to it with this homophobic slash anti feminine sort of thing that goes on within the gay community all up. And it that there's a certain element that bothers me for that, but. Because again, because it doesn't really do anything for me,

Eric:

a couple of other words I forgot to put in there was a munt and gunt,

Micah:

but she never heard that. I was like, what the hell is going on?

Chris:

never heard those.

Micah:

I'm connecting with all your listeners tonight.

Eric:

Those words actually do absolutely nothing for me. I actually find them a turn off. For me. And I think at one point I was probably I don't want to say offended, but grossed out by those words. I'm not so much now. Like it's, I guess entertaining, I guess in some ways like, Oh, what's funny. He, but they do absolutely nothing for me. I guess they would probably still, I don't want to say bother me, but like you were saying Micah with there's a level of toxicity with it. I see that and agree with that, but they really just do nothing for me. I'm not offended by them, but they just when you're with someone and they're like, Oh, get down there and eat my Bussey out. I'm like, no, Nope. Like that. Doesn't that doesn't turn me on.

Gil:

Yeah. Yeah.

Micah:

Hey, and to be clear, I don't think it's like an overt sort of toxicity. I just think it's some of that undercurrent, some of that latent anti feminine, anti openness or whatever you want to call it. That's like that is pervasive in our community all up. But yeah, I'm definitely going to be like, you want me to do what to where. I want you to lick my munt. What is that? Is that a fruit that I don't know about or something I pick up, the local Kroger, like what? I don't understand what's going on.

Chris:

It's a Bundt

Gil:

cake. Oh, but it makes them melted.

Micah:

Won't you?

Gil:

so how much do we love? Schitt's Creek. Let's go around the horn. Oh, okay. Eric, do we want to do another question or how many? I think we have

Eric:

like two more questions. Two more questions.

Gil:

Okay When was the last time you cried?

Eric:

I guess probably like a couple of days ago or for the last, I guess what week and a half I've been going through depression, I've been battling the evil monster that is depression, which I've suffered for since so probably then, huh? I do. I'm super sensitive and super emotional. So I cry at everything. I can be watching a commercial and I'll start like choking up and be like, Oh my God, that's so beautiful. I think I cried cause there, I don't know if anyone else saw, there was a story about this dog that kept going into the dollar general and cuddling with this purple unicorn. And they kept kicking the dog out and he would wait for people to walk in. So the door would automatically open and he would sneak in and go cuddle with this unicorn and they had to call animal control on the dog because, and one of the people from animal control bought him the unicorn. So he could cuddle with it. So like that brought me, that made me teary-eyed and then the fact that he got adopted. And yeah, I cry super easily. I cry super easily at sappy stuff. I don't like necessarily cry easily, like in situations with my regular life, if that makes sense, unless I'm dealing with depression or

Gil:

that makes sense, Micah, 18 years ago for

Chris:

72 years

Micah:

ago. Yeah. I'm slightly dead inside. So what is this crying thing you're talking about? It was actually just a couple of weekends ago that I had a pretty decent cry part of some therapy that I'm doing. And it was around recognizing that the shame that I am carrying around about my body is like the, I am. Absolutely. And utterly exhausted carrying this around. I've been carrying it around for so many years and that the weight of it inside and outside it's data has gotten to a point where it's just exhausting. And I was talking with one of my mentors in the tantra world and I just, it almost came out of nowhere. And I was just, I'm even getting a little emotional, just thinking about it and talking about it right now, because it's that palpable, tired. I can relate to that. And it just, it was so over and it is so overwhelming and fuck I. Might do it again tonight. They're just. It just it, the just that was so much, it was just it's hard to bear. And that exhaustion of dealing with it on a day by day basis is just, it's. And then of course, all the nonsense with the COVID and everything like that is just, yeah, it's just at a point where I'm just like, fuck me. I'm just fucking, just done tired. So that was the last time I cried. Thank you for sharing that.

Chris:

Thank you for sharing Micah. Mine is probably not as deep, but the last time I cried was probably a few days ago. Tick tock knows that. I must know that I've been like, Oh, I shouldn't, Yeah. GIl and I have been talking about starting the adoption process and then there was this situation.

Eric:

That's

Chris:

awesome. Thank you. It's not like in where we're going to be like, Oh, we're going to go get us a kid. It's we're just in conversation about it.

Micah:

But on a website picker where you just select some drop-downs and yeah, like little like

Gil:

I have Angelina flying in

Chris:

like there was this little video that it was like, we are family. And it was this little kid who was like, when the court finalized the adoption, this kid was just like crying and like the whole, whole, like the dad and the mom just hug the kid and they're just like, Oh, that's beautiful. Wow. Very, like finally. Finally, we're an official family, kind of thing, it's just Oh, like hits like Tik TOK was, I don't know. It's just aware of what I guess GIl and I are talking about and it just hit, it, hit the heartstrings, for sure.

Gil:

Huh? That's cute. Let's see, for me, I actually woke up crying, which is very rare between when it does happen. It just I actually told my mom and I teared up what I did because so my dream was actually around me. It feels like it was like a Premonition or whatever of my last day. So in my dream, I w you know, it's all myself sitting at the edge of a bed, saw my hands. It was old wrinkly. I was joking to myself. Oh my God. I'm 86. I was born in 1986. I had that. I could hear my mom in the background asking me, am I ready to go? And I got very, to the, I guess it's still get choked up. I don't know why it was just a dream, but it was just very real. And then I ended up getting really, crying. It woke up cry, and I was like, Oh my God, is that the way I go? It was just very. Weird. They rarely get those. Yeah. So that's the, I guess not now, today. It's the next day I cried. They went on a long spell there without crying cause I, the hugs, because before then the last time I really had this like thorough reading an article, it was about this when Syria was having people, the refugees were fleeing left and right. And there was that the image of the boy found dead on the beach. And I, it just killed me because he was like a month prior. He was celebrating his birthday at home. Yeah, I was just so devastated. I think I told Chris, I was just, I was reading my article in the morning, just downpour crying and pissed. Ready enough? I just couldn't understand, but yeah, you can tell, see long in between when I cry.

Eric:

So do we want to end on and I

Gil:

always bring that up and let's end on a positive note,

Eric:

on a positive note and not in a, not a serious note.

Gil:

We can either

Micah:

we've run the gamut tonight.

Eric:

I'll give you guys the option because I have two questions in mind anyways, ooh for one, one is more silly. We'll all get a nice little laugh. And the other ones are a little bit more thoughtful or thought provoking. Let's

Chris:

do the silly one. Okay. I prefer that.

Eric:

That's how I, okay. Are you a size queen and what's the biggest dick you've ever taken.

Gil:

Okay. So I'll kick it off. Let's see.

Eric:

Let's add. And what's your perfect size. We'll add those perfect size. Okay. Although Gil and. I've already talked

Gil:

about this, but. Okay. So for me, I am not a size queen. I am, what I look for is mostly how does it look proportion to your body? I don't know. For me, I'm always about that kind of Oh, okay. Does that make sense for you? For me, the perfect slice is speaking to like the six, seven. I don't want to be kebab. I don't want to feel like I have something you don't say to my arm going into me. I'm a petite person. Much more. No. I don't know. That's just

Micah:

for me, for the listeners at home, I made a lewd gesture on the camera.

Gil:

You would never not on this podcast

Micah:

on this podcast, no what's the biggest you thinking go.

Gil:

The biggest I actually taken was eight. Okay. So that was, I was like, Oh, that was the first time off the bat. I thought it would be like, Oh, easy, just get the videos. And I'm like, Oh no, it's not like that.

Chris:

Not a size queen. Okay. I do some girth. Okay. If you will. Probably between maybe like it could be between almost six to seven, but being the top of the relationship, but I think also it has to be pretty because I've been with a guy where it was. Like, what the fuck is that? It was a hook almost like a curved, hardcore. And I was like, Oh, that's not a pretty Dick. That's not a pretty dick at all. So

Eric:

it could have been Peyronie's disease though.

Chris:

I w good to know, then I feel bad for him if that's what it is, but it was hardcore. And I was just like that's not, it wasn't very attractive. The biggest I've slept with, it would probably be about seven and a half.

Gil:

Okay.

Micah:

Micah I don't think I have a size queen. Like I'm just a fan of Dick. I don't like, generally speaking don't really care if it's hard or soft or like cut or uncut. I'm just, my preference is I don't need a complete shrubbery around all of it's clean that shit up. But Yeah. Just I'm just a fan of penis. Like I really don't like it. It's just gotta be like,

Gil:

Micah.

Micah:

I don't like Lord have mercy upon to declare. I really don't like gagging. So a too big of a penis is just not a thing. No, you do not get that thing all the way down into my stomach. That's not a deal. And if I'm going to explore my versatility, which I do want to do, then you clearly like it, like GIl was saying, I do not want to be spit roasted. That's not a thing that's

Eric:

totally a fantasy of mine.

Micah:

Let me like, have it a little bit of both on the other side, maybe, but I don't necessarily need there's so much of that content out there. That's just look at my giant Dick, and it's just like this big fucking thing that like fills the screen. I'm just like, what are you are coming anywhere near me with that thing? If I may add,

Chris:

I've been with some guys that are well endowed, there was less effort. On their part,

Gil:

laziness

Eric:

it's like that for them.

Chris:

And it's just no, like I want to be tantalized in other ways.

Micah:

I think there's some virtue of like just the size and shape definitely hits some of the spots just by like it getting there. There's definitely something that like, for those who are not that well endowed like four or five inches sort of thing, yeah, they're going to struggle to get to some certain spots, but it. Like Chris, like you said it's definitely more than just about the size and what they're doing. And there's so much more to the act than it is just about inserting tab a and slot B. It really is more than, yeah. And that's the thing that I really like about that the book that Ed wrote was it's really outlines that it's more than just that it's about so much more about pleasure and about fulfillment and about all the other things that like, that's where it doesn't always have to be about like taking a giant Dick, thing. So yeah. What's the biggest you've had though, the biggest I've played with or the biggest that I've actually put inside my body. Cause there's been some. There's there's probably some that are like nine or 10 inches that I've played with. And I'm just like, Oh my God, that's a lot of penis. It was fun. I colored with of course, plenty of, previously mentioned shame and nonsense, but it was definitely fun to play with thinking back on it. I think the most that I've actually put inside of me is probably, or had put inside of me is probably around six ish, something like that. And that's what I'm after as far as like looking for people to do, just to get get restarted high, dry spell, but like experimenting with that and really being conscious of it. I want, I don't necessarily need to be skewered. Not yet

Gil:

master Eric continue. Yeah, I know the answer to this.

Micah:

I,

Eric:

I wouldn't say my size queen anymore. I think I was at one point definitely a size queen. I'm still a fan of size. Like I, to me, it's an added bonus, but I do agree with the whole, like I've been with guys that were well well endowed and they didn't put forth any effort and you're just kinda okay. Now, like two, three minutes later. Oh, you're done. Oh, okay. Just because it's big doesn't mean, it feels good. You have to put in some work and have some rhythm and all that other stuff. I still like, probably like an eight and a half plus is probably my favorite size. I have I have a really big ass, but I don't know if that makes a difference or not. The biggest I've knowingly took was 11 I'll. I'll explain that in a minute.

Micah:

That's an interesting disclaimer.

Eric:

was 11. It was 11. Holy moly. And yeah, I could take that thing, like balls deep with my mouth. Like it was really great. Yeah, that was really fun. I miss that. I miss him. Yeah, we hooked up a few times. It was really great. I did hook up with this one guy who claimed he was 13. So knowingly. I know I did the 11, this guy said he was 13. I didn't really see much of it. Cause it was just like a quick hookup. And then he got mad that I made him put a condom on and he hit it for three or four minutes, threw a tantrum about having the condom on. So he like pulled out, ripped it off and wanted to go back in. And I was like, no, we're done. And I walked out. Good

Micah:

for you. Yeah. Good on you.

Eric:

I would say though, probably the best I've ever had was sorry, seven and a half. There's one guy in particular that I'm thinking of that was seven and a half, who was absolutely amazing. And like my eyes, I literally rolled back my toes curl like. It was great. But I had another guy that was super, super good too. That was about eight. Those were probably the two best I had. Cause they actually just put in the work and went for more than 10 or 15 minutes. Like they went for a good, like 45 minutes to an hour. And I was super great with that and threw me in different positions and yeah. Cause I like a little bit of cirque du soliel with my sex.

Chris:

So you've done the flying turtle position.

Gil:

I'll have a little Blanche in us. It's okay.

Eric:

if you want to bring it to the more current generation Samantha from sex in the city was my idol too. So you

Chris:

are probably needing more, more current.

Gil:

Oh goodness.

Eric:

Thank you guys so much for being a part of this. Thank you all for listening. And we hope to see you guys again in The Q lounge. be taking a break for the rest of May, but he will be back to join you for June, for the month of pride and to celebrate pride with you. Thank you so much. Bye.

Gil:

thank you for listening to us. We hope you enjoyed your time in The Q Lounge. If you have any questions, comments, suggestions on topics, or if you would like to be a guest or contributor, please email us info.TheQlounge@gmail.Com or through our contact page at theqloungepodcast.com. Don't forget to subscribe to continue listening wherever you get your podcasts. If you want to be our sugar, daddy hit that donation button.

Eric:

Until next time live in your authenticity.