Sept. 22, 2021

S3E4 (Tea Time)

S3E4 (Tea Time)

Eric and Gil are joined by Chris, Gil's husband, Benoit from season 1, Micah from season 1, and Curtis from season 2 for another tea time where we discuss various subjects.

Transcript
Eric:

Hello and welcome to the Q lounge. I'm Eric

Gil:

and I'm Gil.

Eric:

Join us as we discuss news stories and life situations. As they relate to the LGBTQIA+ experience, please visit us at theQloungepodcast.com and hit that subscribe button or listen wherever you get your podcasts. Hello. Welcome to The Q Lounge. I'm Eric

Gil:

and I'm Gil. And today we are joined by four special guests for another round of tea time. We have Chris, who is Gil's husband. Hello. We have Micah from season one. Hello. We have Benoit from season one and we have Curtis from season two, just a couple of quick things before we get started, I want to say thank you to California for voting. No, on the recall. Good job. Yay.

Eric:

And I also want to give a big shout out to California for being the first state to make it illegal, to do condom stealthing. So good job for them as well. Yeah. I was like, I didn't realize it was legal

Micah:

anywhere,

Eric:

but that actually leads us to our first question. What's your relationship with condoms? Do you prefer condoms? Do you prefer bare back? When do you reach a level of where you want to do bareback or is it just off the table?

Gil:

Ah, let's see, I am a lady. So with a score, say absolutely never. Prior to marriage,

Chris:

your husband is on this.

Gil:

I defer the answer to him.

Eric:

I drilled Gill, like on the first

Gil:

date. I'm not a harlot. Thank you. You waited lead to the second, at least some surprise. Okay. Even up the sweater action. Let's see, for me, I'm now I've been with Chris for so long it's either way it does. I don't know. I'm not, I guess it's not fair to ask you two, because I know I'm just gonna it's been so long. I'm like, remember during the great war, what it was prior, just past the Trojan war or

Eric:

the

Gil:

Trojan condom.

Curtis:

And was that the answer? I feel like that was a major avoidance of the question.

Eric:

I think so

Curtis:

too, that was very Larry elder's

Gil:

of you. I am wearing the right, shade of it all.

Curtis:

I get tested every three months and on prep and I don't really use condoms, but I really don't have sex with anybody that I don't know that closely. And I don't have sex that often. Yeah. Like I usually go on dates. I'm like, I'm a dater, I'm a dater. And being in Las Vegas for so long, it's such a small community. You pretty much know who you're getting involved with. So I'd say that I can I'm not a fan of the condom. But like I said, I'm not a random hookup or either, so I don't know. That's my.

Benoit:

Yeah. Yes. So It's a mixed bag in my history. I've tried to limit my randoms. I can't say I've been perfect on randoms. When I'm married, that's definitely not going to be a thing that is condoms. But yeah, I keep it low in volume, so I don't have to keep us stuff.

Micah:

Personally, not too much of a fan of him, although like many of y'all have said, like there's an element of trust. I think that's there before it even gets to a space in which that's a conversation. I do get regularly tested except for COVID. Cause again, that hasn't really exactly been hadn't been a lot of stuff going on for the last 18 plus months. But during the normal times, regular testing prep avoids some of the major components of that, but I'm not exactly out doing a whole bunch of stuff even, prior to that. There's lots of conversations ahead of things, before there's any sort of penetrative sex either direction. But typically I don't like

Chris:

with Gil, it goes both ways. But before, before I was with Gill condoms all the

Gil:

way.

Eric:

Wow. Everyone's once we like have a few dates and we talk and blah, blah, blah, and there's a trust issue. I'm like, I must be like a whore because most of my sex is probably random sex. But it does happen very infrequently for me. I don't mind them either way. Usually I request condoms. I can't take prep. I was on it for two weeks and went into the hospital for what they thought was liver failure. So I can't take, I can't take prep.

Micah:

Even the descovy one, I haven't

Eric:

tried the descovy yet. That was Truvada. I've been a little too hesitant to try it just because of that experience. safe assumption. Yeah. But other than that, I usually request them, but I have not always followed through with that. And I'm like, yeah, sure. Why not? Let's just go. But I am tested regularly and everything else as well. That's good. And like I said, it doesn't happen too frequently. So

Gil:

when was the last time? So we walked on you having sex.

Eric:

It's been a long time. Actually. I was hooking up with some guy in his friend walked in and yeah, I just kept going, but it wasn't, it was a long time. It was a long time ago. I want to say it was probably like almost 10 years ago. So I usually people don't walk in on.

Curtis:

Yeah. The question was posed. Like it was like something that happens often. And I was like, oh,

Eric:

I run a seven 11 between my legs. So not really, but I'm not opposed to

Chris:

I don't think I've ever been offered. I don't think so. Like a pet, but that doesn't really count. That

Eric:

actually really bothers me when a pet walk it is, Seko

Chris:

weird.

Eric:

Like I freak out when I watch porn and they have like their dog on the bed and I'm like, oh my God, put your dog in a kennel.

Chris:

Yeah. I think it was like a pet, but not any like physical person. I'm not that into voyeurism kind of thing. Where people get off. They walk in or they're like, oh yeah, I can be caught at one moment. That's not,

Eric:

I've had sex in public before, too. So I guess I've been like on the side of the street, like at two in the afternoon, and people were like walking by the neighborhoods

Micah:

to get their mail. And

Eric:

I have a very low self-esteem you guys. So someone wants to talk to me here we go.

Chris:

That doesn't have to do it's.

Curtis:

That's a great sense of self-esteem. I think if you have low self esteem, you'd be like just avoid the person altogether.

Eric:

No, it's more on the, it manifests itself and oh, someone wants to pay attention to me. Someone like might like me, let me do this and hold on to them.

Gil:

It's like a way of life can be above me a

Chris:

level of it. And yeah.

Eric:

But I play it off. It's yeah, everyone let's run a train.

Micah:

I think the last DeSoto has probably been 25 or more years. I think my, one of my relatives, like I think they walked in when I was jerking off once, but I don't know if it was confirmed or not cause I was trying to be slightly discreet about it at the time. And I honestly don't know if they even knew what I was doing to be perfectly honest. So This is also like one of my severely drunk relatives and so she was probably completely blitzed at the time. So I'm not even sure she remembered her own name, let alone what was going on. But that's literally the only time anybody's ever walked in on me doing anything like that.

Gil:

I

Benoit:

have been locking my doors since I was two. So

Gil:

never

Curtis:

like I said, I always put my dogs in the kennel, so nothing recently, but there was one story I put my first boyfriend when I was like 18. He was like 25 and we were at his house and we're having sex. And his roommate did walk in the front of the apartment door, but it was, the hallway was like a straight shot to his open bedroom door oh, sorry guys. We're like, no, it's okay. And I can just sit under the covers and then he like locked three apartments. I totally forgot about that story. And still just hearing you guys talk about

Gil:

nice. Not for me. I'm like Benoit, like I locked the door. It's well, close it. I'm like no. Yeah. We just know I'm just trying to be courteous roommates.

Eric:

Where do you draw the line of appreciation versus appropriation

Gil:

Oh shit. I was not prepared for that one. We're going

Micah:

to go a little deeper. We just went deep. Didn't wait in a different way.

Gil:

Lord, I, I don't, genuinely, I don't know. It's almost, I feel like it's going to be a case by case because I don't want to blanket answer it with, oh, it has to be under these XYZ rules or, And it's not for the, I dunno, it's very, I think attention has a big part of it, of why are they doing X? What are the, what are they doing with it? And I would probably leave my answer at that. Okay. With it. Cause yeah, I dunno. You're

Eric:

just so diplomatic and all your answers

Gil:

know, it's just it's such an odd work. It awkward thing because I don't want to. Yeah. Because to me I apparently I feel a certain way about certain things that suddenly I would be to gen Z, like super conservative about it. And I'm going to get blitzed on Twitter about it.

Eric:

I'm being dragged on Instagram right now. No, because I congratulate a California for voting. No, on the recall. So all these like Republicans are trying to drag him. Oh fuck. So what about you Curtis?

Curtis:

Yeah I would have to say it's like more about the intent, but the perceived intent, that goes out to the different public and what is the general public think about what it was like like all the stuff that happened with the mascots. I didn't understand that. I I know that there's a lot of people there, it got really upset. I, from San Diego and we had the city, you go Aztecs and thought you think we could've just glorified than more and maybe top more about that set culture to that, to school. And so you can learn about your mascot and it's actually appreciate it more than to actually just say everybody's offended and just take everything down. Because now little kids, like even going around Halloween, like if your daughter wants to dress up as Pocahontas, like some someone else that has like Indian heritage can say, can bully her for trying to appropriate her culture. And it doesn't, it never started like that at all. That was never the intent. And there is so much appreciation. The world is it's so big and we want everyone to be included. And when we, I feel that when we they got all this stuff, such a big deal that we ended up actually segregating ourselves all over again.

Eric:

I appreciate that answer. Yeah.

Benoit:

I draw that offense. You can't tell anybody how to react to something that hurts them. So if the majority of a culture is offended by an appropriation that we, somebody may not perceive to be appropriation, but be presented in appreciation, then it has to be recognized as transferred into the

Eric:

appropriation realm.

Curtis:

I get that. I grew up mixed I'm black and white. So I've always been on the middle fence. I've always been in between two cultures, both of them kind of thing. I was not a lot of like weird stuff coming from one side and all the weird stuff coming from the other side. But standing in the middle, I was, felt like both sides were doing the exact same thing. Don't be, nobody was looking for a solution. And I think that if you're always worried about appropriation and I feel like we're trying to be one nation, I feel like we're trying to be one world. We're trying to combine everything, whatever. But nobody like people that fight appropriation about, that kind of stuff. Just trying to like, I don't know. Sometimes it just sounds like a cry for attention as a mixed person. I'm not there. So that's why I have a different view growing up too. So it's just, that's how I see.

Eric:

Yeah. I think there's a lot of different points of view and different experiences lead to what our points of view are and our stance as are

Micah:

I think for me, it really boils down to the intent, but I also realize that even saying that I recognize that I'm coming from. The side of a, an immense amount of privilege in that space. And I tend to err on the side of caution with all of that, because I don't want to I'm not out to offend or to like, cause undue harm to other marginalized communities. And so I feel like there's a time and place for appreciating what that was particularly when it comes to the history and sort of the educational opportunities of what, what might exist in those spaces. But I think that it gets carried out very far away when like the example of the costume, know, with Halloween that sounds more like appreciation or kind of wanting to emulate and be that like, I feel like that. Solidly in that space of wanting to appreciate that and be it's it's kinda seen as cool, like by that little person that's really neat, versus oh my God, they're trying to take over all the things. I just, I feel like there's a more nuanced to that conversation that is lost in the vitriol of you're either for me or against me, things. And I would really like to see a little bit more conversation around those pieces versus an instant knee-jerk reaction of oh my God, that's just the most horribly racist or whatever classes thing that could possibly exist out there.

Gil:

Yeah.

Chris:

Okay. So I think it's more about the execution of the appropriation. Sorry. The intention, because obviously let's say for another example of the, like a Halloween costume and it's like a little girl who's like. Loves the idea that Frida Kahlo is like a feminist and wants to dress like her for Halloween. I think it's pretty much okay. But obviously if the person is dressing up for Halloween with the stereotype of a, like the quote unquote, like comedy Mexican shows I like in Albuquerque, I like on you is not UPN. What is it? CW. No, the Telemundo channel. I don't know, like they're there. I used to watch it with my grandma. But there's like this like comedy show where this person has like funky hair. Yeah, they spoofed it on Saturday night life. But I think if that intent that a person is dressing for Halloween like that could be definitely perceived as offensive and appropriation versus, a child, not saying only children are innocent, cause obviously, some parents can have some very weird choices when it comes to their children's costumes, but I think it's all about more of the execution and the intention versus the appropriation. Obviously there's some things that you just don't cross the line and that's where the educational standpoint comes and educate people. What is an absolute no-no and then, recognize that maybe this person is admired trying to admire the, your culture, but obviously take the time to educate them. It's like people that are transexual. And educate them. Don't just jump to the conclusion. Oh, your best gendering me. It's maybe this person doesn't know and give them the chance to be like, oh, I'm so sorry. And then try your best, from there to obviously use the more proper pronouns versus, just automatically just jumping down their throat and stuff. So I think it's it just like Micah said, it's more of a conversational piece. That's a bit new.

Eric:

Okay. I was actually going to go the education route too. I think it's important to educate yourself or for one person, for a person to educate themselves on history and knowing like what things represent. So you're not just saying oh, I like this. And let me just put this on and have no idea, like what it means. Halloween costumes. I agree with you guys, as far as there's one thing to a little girl dressing up as Pocahontas versus the sexy Indian girl or whatever that they have. Those are two totally different realms for me. I do agree. I do the point that Benoit was made though, as far as you're not going to tell somebody like how they feel if everyone's saying this is just not cool, this is not okay. Then you need to listen. You can't be like, oh, but blah, blah, blah. Cause then you're just negating that whole situation.

Gil:

It's true. I was going to say, especially this ties into kind of, how do we feel with division within the country itself, politically? And that's I don't know. I feel like it all ties into, there is a lack of dialogue right now where I don't know when exactly do we become looking for that purist, like looking for the most absolute, persons, like from day one, they have never ever voted incorrectly or ever made the wrong decision ever. Or it was always on the right side of history on every single point through their career. And I think that's something that I don't understand with our, with us right now where we're at that point, because I know I, if you were to compare to me 21 year old GIl versus now with some choices, Absolutely not that's my growth as an individual or my ignorance, or, like me having issues when I try not to stay on my friend transitioning, I didn't know. I was like, what's going on? I, I, in that I went through my own, education as you will, because otherwise I would be considered like, wait, you're gay ed, but you don't understand that. I don't know all the letters of the alphabet. I don't, it's something I admit, but my honest, yeah, my own thing. There's the tea on Gil. Eric,

Eric:

we got deep.

Gil:

Okay. Okay. Let's see if we could jump something. How would you rate your gaydar let's go a little lighter for a second.

Eric:

My gaydar sucks. I have I hope he's gaydar true gaydar. I'm actually pretty good when it comes to lesbians, but I'm not good when it comes to like gay dudes,

Gil:

but we found each other.

Eric:

Yes, you were the only, you were the first and probably the only person who actually beeped all my gaydar, Gil

Micah:

wow. Gil, are you that obvious that day, but I don't understand. It's my lumberjack

Gil:

look today. I work for the red target oh, goodness.

Chris:

I think my gaydar is pretty good. For the most part I must admit though, like in this is going to be a comparison. So in New Mexico, I feel like it's a lot easier cause there's a lot of like people living the stereotypes there and but like in the bay or Seattle it was a bit harder for me, especially in Seattle, a lot of the straight men, I don't know, a few beers away but here in the bay, like there's a little bit more of a diversity in terms of like more obvious and less obvious here. But I think I have pretty good

Eric:

one. You should share some of that with me then

Micah:

I think was pretty decent. It's always, of course, based on like ridiculous stereotypes that probably shouldn't be exactly like glorified or anything, but it was I felt like I was pretty spot on with the subtleties cause I was so good at covering back in the day that I kinda news a lot of the keywords and things that to listen for and the cues to pick up on like body language or, certain phrases or something like that. Oh, that was such a modern thing. By the time I was out in the world, it was happy music, right? Yes. So it was usually pretty decent with guys. I was horrible at pointing out lesbians at all. But I think as time has gotten on a little bit because there's more people are a little bit more open and fluid with their sexuality and that identity around their like. More and more, it's just, it's not accurate at all. Like to the like, cause some people like to Chris's point, even though I know you were joking about a few beers away, but people were probably a little bit more bi than they would love to admit because of the social pressures. And of course all the other bullshit that we've talked about extensively on this podcast. And I think that really blurs that gaydar a little bit, but I think that there's still some indicators that are like pretty sure they are. My gaydar's ass.

Gil:

It leads you there. You guys have

Chris:

nice ass.

Benoit:

I only honestly only notice gay men's when like I'm trying to date them and I'm like, oh. Other than that, I'm not worried about anybody else and what they do. And so I'm just, my gaydar's people will be like that. Guy's hitting on you. And I'm like, what?

Eric:

He's gay.

Benoit:

So it's ass. It gets me in trouble too, because I think people are gay when they're not. And they are when they're opposite

Eric:

and all that.

Curtis:

Yeah. I definitely say mine's turned off too. Especially working at like a club in Las Vegas, like I'm around gay people, 24 7. So you never know what it's going to be. It's not, and it might not just be a couple of beers. They can take a pill that could do cocaine. slipped down a lot here. Just do whatever. Brandon has said, Mike, just turn off. I don't know. And there are so many, like Micah said too, there's just so many different variances now between like gay and BI and maybe trying this and maybe try it out, maybe try this today, but then really they don't want to do that tomorrow. It's not really gay Dar anymore. You know what I mean? It's just more of

Gil:

I don't know vibe of,

Chris:

yeah, tick you're on the spectrum vibe,

Curtis:

Yeah. Yeah. Cause a lot of people now, if there's even, they just want to experiment, but they might not necessarily be gay or that might not necessarily even be bi that, especially here in Vegas. And I've just been wanting to try something out. Sometimes straight guys, they see trans women and they really fall in love with them as being women. They don't even see themselves as being gay or anything like that. I think the gaydar's so that spectrum is so broad now today that it doesn't mean. It's been hurts you to keep it off. You're going to miss out on a lot. And let's really be like in a small town where I think it was Chris who said that people are living the stereotypes. Cause I think right now people are really trying to like, not live the stereotypes and blend in a little

Micah:

bit more. Okay. It's funny. You were mentioning some of that Curtis cause like I was at a queer mixer through work. I have an employee resource group that is for LGBTQ plus folks and there was somebody who showed up that would surprise me and they identified as BI and I was like, it was making a joke and in company of yeah, my gaydar absolutely never went off with you. And that sort of thing. And he actually took offense to that comment because he was like I'm BI, I'm not gay. And I was just like, Ah, I didn't mean offense. Like it was meant to be lighthearted and funny and stuff like that. But even like saying that my gaydar would have pinged on him as a bi guy would did not land. And I was just like, oh okay, don't put that joke to bed. But

Gil:

yeah, but the B is also part of the community. It is hundred percent. I just want to say

Micah:

it is absolutely. It falls into that whole, that queerdar. It could be queerdar

Eric:

patent that Chris.

Chris:

On it

Gil:

I'm like Eric, I don't think it ever really worked. I think I wanted it to work when situations where it definitely was not where they're painfully straight or come on. How about just a little bit, but of course I could be Gillian instead. Yes. It's at work. Yeah. So that's the way I feel, but it's definitely more of a vibe now, are you looking for the subtleties, the little arm wrists and lay or the way they sit feet off the ground obviously?

Curtis:

I know a lot of men that are straight in Seattle that said like that or have that foot pain.

Gil:

Oh yeah.

Chris:

There was a guy who was like this club.

Curtis:

It's what we wanted this whole time was the kind of collide you don't want to be separated forever. You want it to be a main society. You want to be able to accept that. Coexist, and that's just what happens. And so now we're sitting here with all these like archaic gay terms that we have, and it's our fault because we wanted to co-exist we wanted

Micah:

that's true. Yeah. The concept of the gay ghetto doesn't really exist as much anymore. Like I said, there's a lot of reasons why it doesn't exist in Seattle. But it's not a, it's less of a guarantee when you go to Capitol hill, even in the main sort of thing where like you could, there's a lot of people that can turn your head no matter what your interest is and thing. And that is not a guarantee that's going to be like, there's not any reciprocity there. I think there's still like play districts, like the Castro, like in San Francisco that are, you probably have a safer bet, as some of those folks there, but like it's not, it's so integrated. A community has scattered across the entire Metro area.

Curtis:

Bachelorette parties. It's ridiculous.

Gil:

We could believe it. We just take

Chris:

the party guys. They just want to join the party.

Eric:

So are there any habits that you've picked up or dropped off or gotten rid of during the pandemic recently? And do you hope to keep them, or do you hope to forget them?

Gil:

I freak out a little bit now when people get close to me versus before I've learned being with Chris to get used to people getting near me. Cause I'm just not, I don't, I'm not a very touchy person. So when they're like, oh my God, I'm like, oh honey, don't touch me now. I'm like, I got used to it. And then now people get near me physically during the pandemic and I'm like, oh, Please do not. I don't like it. So I'm like readjusting to normalcy with that one that's really

Curtis:

I've just cooking. That was a hobby that pick up because, I had to make that unemployment check stretch, I needed to learn how to cook out about learning, how to budget. That was a good one for me. I it's so weird because I was already not wanting people to touch me cause it's so used to be like on a stage and stuff and people coming in, rubbing and stuff like that. So in public, I was already that way. So that, that was the easy one to do. I do have my friends a lot more though that I have I'm way more connected to. After the pandemic I'm like, oh my God, I haven't seen you forever. So I definitely showed them a lot more love. We're a lot more lovey to each other say nice things to each other, help each other out. Yeah, we're definitely more community now. Oh,

Eric:

that's awesome. I

Benoit:

started smoking a lot more weed and I definitely intend on keeping up a bad habit.

Eric:

I had some THC juice or yeah, I would've

Benoit:

fucked that whole bottle

Eric:

up. Absolutely. It's such a, I'm such a lightweight, a little sip and I'm like, oh my gosh. I

Benoit:

know. I'll tell my roommate. I'll be like, let's smoke a blunt. And he'll take two hits, but I know he's going to do this because I can take a whole blunt to my face. Like I could smoke a whole blunt to my, to myself.

Eric:

And I'm proud of

Gil:

that.

Eric:

Awesome

Micah:

Micah putting on clothes on a regular basis. Does that count as a habit? I there's a lot, that's come and gone. As far as habits go like the rigor around like getting like a good sleep and discipline around going to bed on time, because I don't have a bus to catch in the morning to go to work. So who the fuck cares if I get up at three minutes before the meeting and dial it on my phone while I'm laying in bed? Nobody cares about that. So there's some of those things that have very much slipped probably some, a touch, more alcohol consumption from time to time. Like again, because what's the deal I don't have to get up early and that sort of stuff. I think generally though, like I haven't really developed any new habits around like food prep or that sort of thing. There's definitely a lot more grocery purchasing and things, but it's a lot more turnkey, open up a bag, snack type stuff. So I need to do better as far as probably some healthier habits, especially if we're ever going to go back into the office, but that's been postponed indefinitely. So I guess these definitely habits of God knows what I'm going to wear for work that morning, that might stick around for awhile. I don't know. But yeah, like I, I, some of the fitness, like moving around habits have definitely slipped as well. Like it was pretty easy to get eight to 10,000 steps a day, and like taking buses and walking to, and from buildings and all that fun stuff. And if I get a thousand, like my watch is constantly bitching at me get the fuck up off your ass it's time, but.

Chris:

It's not necessary. I would have to say maybe probably more door dash. Like I finally was like, I finally was open to the idea of, door dash cause before I'm like, I'll just go get it, or we like Gil and I were constantly out and about really, but now, like I would probably have to be DoorDash, which does add up to be heavy on the wallet, but it just, I don't know. That would probably be the closest thing. I don't think I have any other habits that I've developed because I'm in retail and my specific type of retail went back. Like that June after the shutdown. So I've been at work, working out.

Eric:

Let's see. How about I, one habit that I'm super happy that I got rid of and I hope to never pick back up is biting my nails. So it's been like a year since I bit my nails. So I'm super happy about that. And I started putting my clothes up. As soon as they come out of the dryer. I like fold them and put them up. I've always been the person who just throws them on something and four months worth of clothes, just piles up. And I'm like, what do I need? Why do I need

Curtis:

a giant pile of clean

Eric:

laundry? Now I will still totally leave like a whole load of laundry in the dryer for a week

Micah:

or

Eric:

the dryer. Then I will put

Gil:

it on all over again. Oh gosh, no. Yeah,

Eric:

see wrinkles. I always just feel oh, they'll wear themselves out.

Micah:

I don't give a shit about wrinkles. Cause we got the, fuck's going to see them. Get on camera, like phoning it in with a plain black shirt. Come on. Nobody gives a shit.

Eric:

And like as far as like people getting close to me, I've always, I've had have a 10 or 12 foot like bubble. So six feet was like too close to me already.

Micah:

Huh.

Gil:

Okay. So Eric, what is your opinion on someone saying they don't see color?

Eric:

Yeah. I think that goes into. It's throwing your privilege around basically. If you're, let me rewind a little bit. Like, when I was raised by oh, we don't see color. We don't see color everyone's the same. And while I think that intent is good, it's not reality. So when you say I don't see color, you're invalidating people's experiences, so yeah. Yeah, so that's, I guess that's my thing. Like I think you have to realize that it's not necessarily just what as your life day to day there's other experiences and other people. And so that's my thoughts.

Gil:

What about you, babe? What do you think?

Chris:

I actually completely agree with Eric. Ah cause he's right, you are diminishing other people. Experiences by saying, oh, I don't see color. Like the original intent is okay, cool. You're not judging a person based off the color. That was the original intention, but that's not what it's turned out to be. I feel like it's grown into I'm not racist. Yeah, like you are, but maybe not in a different, like in the direct way, but you might be in a different or more subtle way. So I think it's important to see color and to acknowledge what other people go through and recognize that they're not necessarily having the same experience as you. Cause I know I'm white passing, but I am Hispanic in heritage. So I have a lot of friends of variants of colors and stuff, but they all don't have my experience that I went through.

Gil:

Yeah, because of you, we could go through the airport a little quicker, less likely to get checked

at

Chris:

the airport. I don't know. You did make a boyfriend in that one time. You were randomly in Missouri.

Gil:

Oh yes. Patted me very well.

Chris:

He legit told him like

Gil:

be gentle or so I told him to be gentle gently to him. Gotta have fun with it. Nine 11. Just reminded me how many times or how long I've been checked randomly.

Eric:

Oh yeah. I used to get checked a lot and I've been detained at the border many times,

Micah:

anyone who says they don't see color full of fucking lies. I can't even stand. It lies period. Don't sit there and fucking tell me you don't see color. No, like that's not the way it is. I like to the point, I think the intent was like probably trying to be like, everybody's treated equal, that sort of thing, et cetera. But no, really it's you are absolutely erasing or trying to erase everybody. Else's lived experience no matter what sort of background you're coming from or what other marginalized community you're coming from. So don't even try, don't even try with that all lives matter. Bullshit. Don't try with any of that stuff. Like nothing can matter until.

Chris:

Is not a life choice,

Eric:

fucking hate the blue

Micah:

life. Shit. I see those flags and I just bristle I'm just like, oh my God, I can't with that. I just, if my bubble is six feet or maybe 12 feet, it's like that, one's 50 feet just don't even fucking come near me. I can't. And it's a particularly rich when it comes from a white person in my less than, humble opinion, because no, you fucking see it all the time. And you're doing everything you possibly can to like, not face the fact that you carry a shit ton of privilege in this world. So no, let's not go there. Don't fucking lie through your teeth. You should see it. You should recognize what's going on. And what happened to these folks and that shapes their lives shapes their experience period.

Benoit:

that motherfucker was spittin. No, I agree with everybody a hundred percent, Eric, today, you hit it.

Gil:

Curtis. Any opinions differently?

Chris:

Don't listen, I have a white sheet in the corner.

Curtis:

100%. I do think it's also important to when we talk about it to, to I'm glad that everyone pre-phase everything they said. That wasn't the original intent for that sentence. You know what I mean? I think that's really important because we can't grow with. Like we're talking about educating people and making people learn, stuff like that. And so what we jumped up people's throats all the time was about stuff. They say, bullshit, you don't see color. That's not what they, that's not what the intent of a lot of those people meant. You know what I mean? When they used to say, I don't see color, they were trying to be positive and trying to people or trying to it'd be more, I think be more beneficial for every community to be like you should probably see color. And this is why as opposed to, I feel like there's, that's what I said about being mixed too. Like growing up, because there was so much hate on the black side and so much hate on the white side. And everybody would just spewing at each other, and I was living proof that there was progression. I felt like I got denied. Not a lot, but I got. Hate from both sides. And I was living proof that there was progression. And so I just not, it's not so much that I don't agree cause I exactly, I agree. 100% with every, everybody says the tone that comes from it. Like mother fucker, you better see color because of this. I think always like just hinders the experience and hinders the growth of the whole community or the community as a whole.

Micah:

Yeah. Yeah. And to be clear, I say that the way that I presented that sort of thing was mostly just for this audience, just cause I know we're like, yeah, but like in the real world particularly because I'm on that sort of white side of the conversation, when I'm talking with somebody else who tried, is trying to convince me of something like some nonsense that they see is it's no, really? Like you really shouldn't, here's the thing. But I'm not, I've definitely not that strident in real life. So before

Curtis:

the I've always trying to bridge like gaps between people like what exactly did they say? Maybe they could have meant why don't we go talk to that? I've just always that guy. So I was just feel that when it gets elevated to such a high point, like it's

Micah:

just

Curtis:

stops the whole progression that stops the conversation. Cause then you have people say you don't agree with me. So I'm going to take. Live with them, not learn and go back to my home and the other people, they want me to take my opinions and I'm gonna take mine and go back to my whole edit. There's no growth between any of the

Micah:

communities. It's it shuts down that conversation so quickly that there's no opportunity to really have that dialogue and have that opportunity to bring that person around potentially to be a little less strident with their position. Yeah. Just

Curtis:

to care, you want people to care. So yeah, that's always an issue when it comes to that stuff. I think a lot of people agree up and that's another thing too. I think a lot of people agree on the same stuff all the time, but then when emotions get so high end, they end up just shedding stuff, we sell seller off and then they don't end up growing at all.

Gil:

That's true. Yeah.

Chris:

It's true though. It's so deep.

Gil:

Yeah. You want to

Eric:

do this right now? Correct?

Curtis:

I don't fucking server. Last week we partied so much and I'm already going. I started getting to 9 0 9 and the whole world is in Vegas. These next

Micah:

two months.

Eric:

That's when I heard, I have some friends that are going to Vegas this weekend and I have this beautiful.

Gil:

Yeah. Let's see, fall out and DIT with this. Or my thing is, I think for us, it's we need to figure out a way to say we are one us group and I, because my thing, like I was telling every time I traveled with, abroad is that they don't look at me as Hispanic. They don't look at me as brown they're you're American end of discussion, but only in America. Am I Hispanic? My family has been here so long. Like they don't speak Spanish. They been in this country for so long. My mom's side of the family, they were in the Philippines. I have never stepped foot there. They call me Filipino because that's half of me, but I have physically never left for Asia at any capacity. So why would I be Filipino, a culture? That's not me. And that's part of the issue where, seeing color I don't see color and the culture that yes. But I think a bigger question for the, for us is how do we work on being just one where American it's diverse? That's the way we were founded. That's the way it is. We're a hodpodge are people who couldn't make it, where they came from. That's fact, that's why we're here. So let's just get along work with that. We are all poor at some point. So

Eric:

let's go. What is your Twitter or your social media look like? Like in general, what does that look like?

Gil:

Let's see. So mine is retweet. I finally got into the Twitter thing. Let's see the Twitter. I apparently I started in 2009 and I had two posts and then almost 11 years later, I started to get, because I got bored during the pandemic, trying to figure it out. Mine is full of sports politics. And so celebrities, I think that's like the majority of my stuff and random people I found on Instagram, or I followed like Gill, small artists, stuff like that. And if they had one, then I follow them on. I think that's it.

Curtis:

Mine's like mostly for just Bible verses and like barns gogo boy. And I also do a little sex porn work on the side. So you can only imagine what my twitter is like

Gil:

I agree.

Chris:

I was like believing you for a second. I was like, oh you know him more on a personal level, like

Micah:

Bible verses a, probably encouraged something about getting on your knees.

Curtis:

The Bible verse is I have a good heart, but I'm nasty as fuck.

Gil:

You

Chris:

have faith,

Gil:

you have faith, you can take it all. You got it.

Eric:

Yeah.

Benoit:

So my Instagram is friends, pop culture, shit. Like the blogs as my Twitter is Nicky Minaj fan accounts and

Eric:

porn.

Benoit:

I don't use Twitter like that, but I be using Twitter like

Gil:

that. Oh, tumbler? Yes. Wait, what,

Curtis:

What they took tumbler away. Everyone just switched over to Twitter.

Micah:

Tumbler.

Eric:

I tried to close my tumbler and they wouldn't let me close my

Chris:

page, but I like it because of the comments. There's such a level of.

Gil:

I dunno, a Udacity on there. It's just

Chris:

like either way too sarcastic or just out of this world. Hilarious. I just,

Benoit:

I wish I could tap into my old X Y account though. That'd be tight

Micah:

X, Y X.

Gil:

Why is this my space?

Micah:

No, X Y

Benoit:

was like this actually it's creepy. When you think about X, Y, X, Y was like this magazine for like young gay boys. I

Micah:

thought it was

Benoit:

a young gay boys, but it was for men's of a higher age. That's why I was going to inappropriate, but they had a website corresponding and it was Adam for Adam Jr.

Gil:

Man. I used

Eric:

to be on

Curtis:

the internet

Benoit:

at my grandparents' house. Modem would be fucking putting my business out.

Eric:

I had one of my best hookups off of manhunts. Yeah. I've had a few hookups off of hat. Yeah, there's been a few. I think I've had best luck with manhunt and grinder, but of that world,

Benoit:

Scruff, match.

Eric:

Yeah, but it's

Gil:

fun. I could collect your Pearl, sir.

Micah:

And then

Eric:

wipe them off

Chris:

necklace. I believe that's what it's called. It's my

Gil:

favorite.

Micah:

I wouldn't know of such things as how dare you? How dare you

Chris:

hooker in church?

Micah:

Oh my Lord. Oh yeah. So my main Twitter is very much about, is very much a information security and privacy related. I have some like newsfeeds like from reputable sites, like hope random people journalists, that sort of stuff that I just am really interested in what they have to say and their commentary some politics. So it's a random mix. My Facebook is basically dead. My Instagram is basically dead post some of the photos that I like, I put that up on Vero, which is a small, unknown social media thing, but there's, it's a little bit cleaner of a place without all the bullshit that does follow Facebook and all that crap. So I just, I have zero intention of doing anything with it, but if I have a really cool picture that I took with my drone or like a photo of flowers or something like that, I'll toss it up there. I don't give a shit. Seattle. What do you expect is that Curtis?

Curtis:

Oh, I said at 1 million pictures of pike place, market place, market signs, flowers, lobsters.

Micah:

Exactly. And then the random people that just walk around. Yeah. So my, my, my alt Twitter is very sex, heavy sex, positive, heavy follow, all sorts of things. I don't post a lot of content on there just yet because I have a giant pile of body shame issues, and I'm not about to go broadcast that shit onto the internet. But from time to time, I'll post some things on there. Highly kink friendly Yeah, I want to at the time, thing and yeah.

Chris:

So I'm on my space. Don't know. I'm just kidding. I don't even know if it's still going. It was amazing

Gil:

in it's time. Let's

Micah:

go there. Oh, it is.

Gil:

Oh,

Chris:

I have a Twitter. But I mainly follow celebrities and DJ's he has no social media. I'm very thoroughly upset about this and I'm gonna have to talk to him later. But my I just felt like a bunch of like British comedians. Just techno DJs. And that's how I am like, oh, you're in the studio. Cool, great. And then like my Instagram, I have like family and friends any I think that's all. Oh, I did mention I still have tumbler, but I don't post anything. I just read a bunch of hilarious comments on those and that's it

Gil:

cool.

Eric:

For me my, I guess politics is like pretty much on all of my platforms, so that's just number one. On Facebook it was probably politics, Janet dance and affirmations and dogs. Instagram is probably the same thing, but just all in meme form. Cause I tend to post way too many memes on Instagram. And my Twitter is politics porn and Janet, and then advertising for the podcast.

Gil:

Your retweets of Janet have suddenly made my feed look like a lot of Janet posts, but when I

Eric:

fall a lot of Bravo stuff on Instagram and Twitter, Bravo gossip and Facebook.

Chris:

I deleted my Facebook too much drama.

Gil:

I didn't think a deleted my in 2016. I think it's when I stopped. I couldn't during that election cycle, I just could not. Oh, it's so much. Huh? It was even for me. And I'm just sitting here, like I have a degree in politics yet. These people were like according to, and I'm like, oh sweet Christ. I just could not. And these are family members. I'm like, y'all gone this old man. Yeah. I could

Micah:

thought I've unfollowed. So many family members and stuff from Facebook. I just don't like I can't with you and all the sharing nonsense.

Curtis:

Oh, yeah, I'm really good at reading the first sentence and being like, oh, this is going there, swipe because I'm always like, oh, okay, that's this, I don't need this today. So eat that bullshit and not say, I don't read it ever because there are some times where, I'm gonna sit at home. What are they saying? I'm interested, but I'm very good at this. Being able to be interested in being where people say without having it, like really affect me. It's one of those those club skills,

Gil:

aha. Oh really

Curtis:

cool. Awesome. Glad you're here. Are you having a good time? Yeah, no. Good to see you too. All right. Yeah. Have a great day. Bye

Eric:

bye.

Chris:

The customer

Gil:

service voice follow the same tone.

Chris:

I have customer service, my sisters during an

Gil:

argument. No,

Chris:

I hear you. I definitely understand. I understand. But unfortunately

Gil:

this is what I can do for you. Eric, next question. Have you been someone's side chick?

Eric:

Yeah, I have actually, I have been someone's little secret and it was not a good situation and I would never, ever do it again.

Gil:

Chris, you know

Chris:

that yeah, I was, and I like Eric, I regret it to this day. What the F what was I thinking? I guess I was just young and naive.

Gil:

I'm like, I know the answer would be absolutely not, but

Micah:

you would be surprised. So I was the other woman back in the day. And I got myself pretty emotionally wrapped up into that. So miss not great. I, that said the older and wiser me is the other person for two currently. And it's fucking hot and it's a lot of fun not going to lie, like in a throuple. No, I'm their secret. Ooh. One of them it's a little bit more of an open secret. Say gun Curtis. The two people are together. No, these are separate. Separate.

Curtis:

Yes. Yes.

Micah:

Ooh.

Curtis:

Not that well, so I thought I just,

Gil:

I have questions.

Chris:

They are dating each other and they're dating you, but they don't know that the no. Since dating

Micah:

you, these are two distinctly separate people.

Chris:

Yeah. Oh, so you're the other lady in just two different relationships,

Gil:

correct?

Curtis:

Do you think that helps to keep you from getting emotionally attached to one of them? Like you did last time?

Micah:

I still care about these people both a lot. But it's not like the, it's not the same as the one previous, like from 15, some odd years, 20 years ago, whenever, however long ago, that was just because I've matured the way that I approach relationships an awful lot going forward. And so I have a much better emotional grasp on what's actually happening here versus thinking that other guy is going to leave their partner or continue their exit from that relationship and go be with me.

Curtis:

Now, these partners are they that cause, cause they were, it's a newer time. Now do the other partners know that like their partners play around? Are they the kind of like open, so it's not as big of a secret or it, or do the other partners not knowing it's a secret

Micah:

sneaky. So with one of them, I think that it was. Like secret. And I think that there is an assumption that they were in a closed, monogamous relationship for a time. But that has, since those doors have come bursting open because the other half of one of those relationships has gone and done the same damn thing, even when the guy that I'm with was over at my house. So like they both have their separate evening just fun. The other couple it's a little more complicated because I used that used to be my best friend, like the other. And when I got into a relationship and I was like a monogamous, closed relationship. And I was focusing on that he pulled himself back because I wasn't giving him what he needed at the time. And so he like went through a big dramatic phase of unfriending, me and blah, blah, blah on all the things. But him has his husband and I have remained friends and we've always had a thing for each other even way back in the day, which we could never act on it. My ex best friend

Gil:

the podcast has shifted.

Micah:

God forbid that either any of them were actually gonna listen to this. Cause my name is unique enough that, but

Eric:

yeah, there's three people who listen to this podcast.

Micah:

So I'm good then that's fine. I know it's going to be this. I have listeners

Chris:

in Romania and

Eric:

Romania. Yes. So yeah, some how charting really high in Romania.

Gil:

I know I will take it, but

Micah:

To be fair, they are a little bit more open now. And the dumb thing was is that when I was friends with my best friend at the time, he basically treated the relationship is open even though that wasn't their agreement. So he was already fucking up their agreements to the beginning. But I think they've now just officially figured out oh yeah, this thing isn't working out in its current context, but I'm still a secret because it would piss off the other half to no end. That I'm sleeping with the other. Yeah. I'm still a secret, but I think when he when he goes out and does stuff with other people, it's not as big of a deal, but because it's me, and because of that, previous friendship would be a big deal and that would, oh my God. Yeah. That's three or four episodes of a fucking soap.

Curtis:

And you were skating around the bus and that's why I was like, I gotta pull this out, write down.

Micah:

She just got to go bold or go home. And this way it's working. So it's not like a it's it's a very occasional, like maybe two or three times a year, yeah. I literally just got a couple of days ago, got some pictures that were really fucking hot. So like we're back in that cycle again. And of course COVID is fucked everything up. So happy to talk about it anytime.

Eric:

we'll just do our next tea time. We'll just put him as the focus and be like, here's

Chris:

the update.

Gil:

Are you going to top that,

Benoit:

Doing

Eric:

enough topping

Benoit:

I'm also going to say, I'm going to keep my man, the fuck out of Seattle away from

Micah:

sweating like one right now.

Benoit:

I have definitely, probably fucked somebody boyfriend, but I've never been a side piece

Gil:

case Plessy,

Benoit:

but I had to have fucked somebody boyfriend, but

Chris:

it wasn't like a ongoing thing. It was like a one and done kind of thing.

Curtis:

No,

Benoit:

I don't really do the ongoing thing.

Eric:

To be honest.

Benoit:

I'm pretty I've definitely fucked. Somebody boyfriend. Yeah. Which memories flashing back. Girls boyfriends and boys.

Gil:

Oh,

Curtis:

poor

Gil:

girl. Oh.

Benoit:

But I didn't stay, so

Micah:

I'm good, right?

Gil:

No, don't ask Micah. Curtis

Curtis:

I feel like such a Virgin. I was always like somebody's wife. I was like, oh, what I turned like 17, 18, right out of high school. I was with a guy for five and a half, six years. And then from that relationship went to another relationship for seven and a half years, and then went to another relationship for another like six years. And I would just edit maybe

Micah:

two years ago. So this is the question. No

Chris:

poses

Eric:

wrinkles. San

Curtis:

Diego. I worked at a dermatology office. I know what I'm doing

Chris:

out by the ocean where you stay fresh.

Curtis:

Yeah, Vegas, but I think in Vegas, like you like take care of your skin better. Forced, like over that door, it's so hot. When I was living in California. I don't need lotion today. Cause I don't know, just like the wind, the moisture in the air just felt so good. I already would have brought sunscreen because I feel like I needed it. But here, like you just, you automatically do everyday.

Gil:

That's true. It's going to say

Curtis:

I've always been a wife. I've ever been a side piece

Chris:

husband.

Gil:

On my trip to the Northwest,

Chris:

I met up with the French singer, not Micah,

Micah:

the Blanche for the record. I know nothing.

Gil:

He knows nothing. I have cause like I pretty much went in a relationship and then the few years I was in between, then I was. the side piece twice, two separate. And I was like, oh, what are the odds? It was like, one after the other. And I'm like, oh shit. Yeah, that was very awkward. Now that I look back and I'm like, yeah, not. Quite that moment, but it was what it was at the time I learned what not to do. Or at least if I was going to do at least break it up completely might as well go all the way. Don't just throw one rock into that window. So yeah, and then I, now I'm good.

Curtis:

You're really nervous as what you are.

Gil:

Oh,

Chris:

he has a knitting circle. He goes to, he's an old Biddy wife,

Gil:

you

Eric:

guys up

Gil:

for one more.

Micah:

Let's go. I don't have much more to hide. Apparently

Gil:

at all. You, it out your dirty

Chris:

laundry,

Micah:

the podcast version of

Eric:

blanche is an icon. So what is something that you wish that straight people or straight society could or would understand about the LGBTQ plus community?

Gil:

Oh shit.

Chris:

I was expecting like a lighter question.

Gil:

Shit, this is layers and layers. We are more than the. We are a little bit more than marketable with clothing during the month of June. More than a few catchphrases and cutesy outfits. We are people's brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, all that shenanigans..

Curtis:

I was there with understand and actually some gay people I was with to understand where exactly all of the The pride and the necessity to be over flambuoyant comes from some of these people. It's almost they've hidden the especially my generation now to being a little bit more open, but a lot of these people have been like hidden away or hidden themselves away for so long that when they finally get to the point where they can't accept themselves, they do go overboard. They do spill the need to express themselves. It's almost celebratory, like religious garments. You know what I mean, to go out, I'm going to, I remember being like 17, 16, I think I came out at 15, 16, something like that. And I remember I had to go by that rainbow flag and I was like, I'm going wear this on my backpack and you're going to see it. And I'm going to be the way I'm going to be. And dah. And it wasn't that I was just being annoying and flamboyant and girly or this or that, or trying to shove anything down anyone's face. It was almost like, I felt remember that movie. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen a boy in like the basement or whatever forever until he was like, I don't know, like 21 or something. And we came out, he was like, his skin was all pale. He had never seen the sunlight. He had never even seen a lot of times that people come out like that. That's what it is. It's their first time seeing the sunlight. It's their first time being who they actually are. You forget that we miss out on holding hands sometimes growing up, no kissing growing up, unless you kiss a girl, but if you didn't want to kiss a girl and you already knew you were gay, you didn't kiss anyone. So you are walking down halls by yourself, all these like little relationship things that you're supposed to go through and all these passages and stuff that you're supposed to go through, you don't get to go through. So when you finally do come to realization of who you are, and you can accept yourself for yourself, you want to shout it loud and proud. And it's just it's the same as African garments or an Indian headdress, or, it's just a proclamation of how proud you are of who, you are now. And so when straight people will say, oh, why does he have to throw it in everyone's face? Or why is that to be that Flamboyant I understand why he has to be like that. He has to be like that, cause he wasn't able to be like that or 17 years, and so a lot of times too, when straight acting gay people will be like I don't understand why he has to act like that. I know there's gay and there's faggot and there's this and there's that. And it's almost like you don't understand that. The reason that the reason he's being like that is because he was so condensed and so held down for so long. He wanted to be that way ever since he was three and everyone gets on. So now he gets to be who he wants to be. So now he's going to be it. So I wish people would just understand that more like they wouldn't call like judge, she both served being so girly so much all the time, or even lesbians for being such tomboys all the time. It's a lot of times when they get to that point, they've just been I can't think of the right word, but just they've been suppressed for so long, but that's the whole reason for it. If you understand that as Lummi oh cool. I get it. That's way easier to be at sound direct. Try to understand somebody and be like, oh, the reason why he's doing that is because he's just taking his life back or he's taking his his personality back or whatever. It's not that he's convening this whole personality. It's who we want to be all along, but he was just so suppressed. And so when it opened up, you're open like a Jack in the box and just literally fell out everywhere.

Eric:

I feel like you're talking like right to me. Oh, really identify with everything you said.

Curtis:

Yeah, it's just an expression. I wish people would just let everybody express themselves. We have so many different braids and so many different ways to to show the world how proud you are of yourself and take community. Sometimes that's one of them, and I think that it would be more accepted to be now, why does he have to be acting like a girl? Or why is he gonna be acting like a pansy acting like this? He's not acting like that. He's finally getting to act like himself for the first time and he's taking full charge of it. That's one thing. I wish straight

Benoit:

people would understand that using the word partner is very fucking, like when they were here to their

Eric:

significant other

Curtis:

partner,

Benoit:

I'm like, oh, and that goes with the gaydar shit, you fucking, my reception. By using the word partner.

Eric:

That's all I got. Okay, Micah,

Micah:

What a plus one, the Gill, your pride in June comments were more than just a marketing opportunity. We're queer all year round, so not just in June. And I definitely want to plus one plus a thousand, the covering and the repression comments the Curtis that you made. Cause we didn't get the same privilege and the opportunity that a lot of people did when they were in high school to do some early explorations of that. And it's very easy, I think for straight people to turn around and judge people who are in their twenties, thirties, and I would even say fifties, sixties, seventies, who are just now coming to that realization even much later in life that. And discovering themselves for new. And we're more than just we're not just whoring it up or we're not just doing these things. Like we're, we didn't get those opportunities because we probably would've gotten killed by straight people. Had you, have we actually expressed ourselves back then? So afforded us some leniency. I think I would reinforce that we're not the media and the gay stereotype, not all gay people are the same people that you see on magazine covers. We're not the same. We're not Will and grace. We're not all of the queer as folk people. We are just as diverse as everybody else that's out there. And I would really appreciate it if they wouldn't shame us into being a certain thing that they've seen just on television or on, print that caricature. Correct. Yeah. I think that the other thing that I would ask is that we're not the experts and even within our own community, because we have two very distinct things going on within the LGBTQ plus community, which is the sexual orientation spectrum. Then there's also the gender identity spectrum. And those two things are distinctly different. And I cannot because I don't I'm, my gender identity is very cis-gendered. I don't, I, I'm not going to be an expert on being able to tell you all the things about somebody who is non-binary or some other than my, like my own identity and that I can't be, I can't, that's not appropriate for me to speak on behalf of somebody else and their lived experience. We have our own shit to figure out within the community. We have our own sort of privilege problems within the community, and we need straight people to come around. Help educate themselves to the issues that each one of these sort of spectrums and slices of our community experience. I mean you can slice it up in so many different directions because of the diversity of the community between different cultures, different races, different identities, different backgrounds. All of that stuff. And straight people need to understand that one is not going to be the spokesperson for all, and you need to educate yourselves on an awful lot of what's going on with, in our extraordinarily diverse and gorgeous community. Really. So yeah, I think those would be the things that I would ask, invite the conversation. I think really in the end,

Chris:

Everybody said so many awesome things to touch base on Curtis's IM I, myself, when I first came out, I acted in ways that I thought I should act as a young gay teenager. So I would appreciate that, straight people just have patience with the person because that person is just recently liberated with themselves. And they're trying to figure out who they are as a person being openly, whatever. So I wish they would have more patience and more understanding. I also greatly appreciate not to say that, people that are not religious are not homophobic, but I really wish that people straight people who use their religion to justify their. For lack of understanding against the people of our community and constantly throwing out their religion at us, like saying Bible verses or whatever. I think that they need to really realize that

Gil:

the

Chris:

basis of most of the time it's Neo Christians. But I feel like they should really, truly, they read the Bible, then they should really not rely on a person to translate it to them and make, come to their own conclusions. And also don't use it as a level of hate holier than thou we've had a couple of family members not go to our wedding because of religious relative reasons. And their children like like my cousin and even Gill had a, had an uncle like they wanted to come to the wedding, but they didn't because they didn't want to be under scrutiny with her, with their parental units. So I think I would definitely ask that of the community of the straight religious people is don't throw hate just because you don't understand us. And because you think your religion is the right one to justify your lack of understanding, does that make sense?

Eric:

Wow. I don't even I just going to basically say I co-signed with everybody. You guys said some amazing things that I can't say anything any better re really quickly with Chris, this thing about being patient, that's why representation is important because we're just now getting starting to get representation out there. And so other gay children, queer children have someone now to actually identify with and see themselves, and then it's more accepted in some ways, but there's still a lot of ways to go. Curtis, when you were talking, I guess that I thought you were like talking right to me. I was like, oh my God. He's knows everything that's going on. Cause even like, when I came out, I still had a lot of internalized homophobia that I didn't realize until like lately. And so now I've been like, just like pushing those walls down, like breaking those fuckers down. And I noticed that I'm like, I feel even more liberated. So I'm going to go to this extreme and that extreme, like I'm still doing that now. And yeah, because, and I've got

Curtis:

the chance to do it a long time ago and we did it there, and standing when it comes to the fact that we're just going through the same thing that everybody else said, but we are going through a

Gil:

later. Exactly. We don't have that right. Of passage. Like everyone else, where you go through at this age, you go to this and it's the straight society. So as a gay member, like we don't know. And then, they ask us for all the expert advisor, everything that I learn it's passed down by another older gay who told me, Hey, about XYZ and that person who learned it from someone else, it's all word of mouth. Yeah. And that's the thing it's we're hoping that we lost an entire generation from the eighties during the aids.

Curtis:

Absolutely true too. We lost a whole generation. So all of a sudden that we would be getting all the information, all that. Can you imagine how much more information we would have? How much more of a together community we would be if we still had that all those people learn from, we don't even have

Gil:

that.

Eric:

I just want to say thank you guys so much for being a part of this. I hope you guys enjoy hanging out with us in the Q lounge for tea time. So thank you guys very much. Thank you to all the listeners and we'll be around next week. So thank you. Bye

Gil:

bye. Thank you for joining us. We hope you enjoyed your time in The Q Lounge. If you have any comments, questions, suggestions on topics, or if you would like to be a guest or contributor, please email us at info.theqlounge@gmail.com or through our contact page at TheQLoungepodcast.com while you're there hit that subscribe button or listen wherever you get your podcasts. If you would like to further support us, hit that donation button

Eric:

until next time live in your authenticity.